Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

John C. Maxwell is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has sold more than 33 million books in fifty languages. He has been identified as the #1 leader in business and the most influential leadership expert in the world. His organizations - the John Maxwell Company, The John Maxwell Team, EQUIP, and the John Maxwell Leadership Foundation - have translated his teachings into seventy languages and used them to  train millions of leaders from every country of the world. A recipient of the Horatio Alger Award, as well as the Mother Teresa Prize for Global Peace and Leadership from the Luminary Leadership Network, Dr. Maxwell influences Fortune 500 CEOs, the presidents of nations, and entrepreneurs worldwide. For more information about him visit JohnMaxwell.com.

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WINNING WITH PEOPLE

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Acknowledgments..................................................................................................................................................................ixIntroduction.....................................................................................................................................................................xiiiThe Readiness Question: Are We Prepared for Relationships?.......................................................................................................................1The Lens Principle: Who We Are Determines How We See Others......................................................................................................................4The Mirror Principle: The First Person We Must Examine Is Ourselves..............................................................................................................15The Pain Principle: Hurting People Hurt People and Are Easily Hurt by Them.......................................................................................................25The Hammer Principle: Never Use a Hammer to Swat a Fly off Someone's Head........................................................................................................35The Elevator Principle: We Can Lift People Up or Take People Down in Our Relationships...........................................................................................45The Connection Question: Are We Willing to Focus on Others?......................................................................................................................57The Big Picture Principle: The Entire Population of the World-with One Minor Exception-Is Composed of Others59The Exchange Principle: Instead of Putting Others in Their Place, We Must Put Ourselves in Their Place...........................................................................68The Learning Principle: Each Person We Meet Has the Potential to Teach Us Something..............................................................................................78The Charisma Principle: People Are Interested in the Person Who Is Interested in Them............................................................................................88The Number 10 Principle: Believing the Best in People Usually Brings the Best Out of People......................................................................................97The Confrontation Principle: Caring for People Should Precede Confronting People.................................................................................................107The Trust Question: Can We Build Mutual Trust?...................................................................................................................................119The Bedrock Principle: Trust Is the Foundation of Any Relationship...............................................................................................................121The Situation Principle: Never Let the Situation Mean More Than the Relationship.................................................................................................132The Bob Principle: When Bob Has a Problem with Everyone, Bob Is Usually the Problem..............................................................................................142The Approachability Principle: Being at Ease with Ourselves Helps Others Be at Ease with Us......................................................................................152The Foxhole Principle: When Preparing for Battle, Dig a Hole Big Enough for a Friend.............................................................................................162The Investment Question: Are We Willing to Invest in Others?.....................................................................................................................174The Gardening Principle: All Relationships Need Cultivation......................................................................................................................177The 101 Percent Principle: Find the 1 Percent We Agree on and Give It 100 Percent of Our Effort..................................................................................188The Patience Principle: The Journey with Others Is Slower Than the Journey Alone.................................................................................................198The Celebration Principle: The True Test of Relationships Is Not Only How Loyal We Are When Friends Fail, but How Thrilled We Are When They Succeed 208The High Road Principle: We Go to a Higher Level When We Treat Others Better Than They Treat Us..................................................................................217The Synergy Question: Can We Create a Win-Win Relationship?......................................................................................................................228The Boomerang Principle: When We Help Others, We Help Ourselves..................................................................................................................230The Friendship Principle: All Things Being Equal, People Will Work with People They Like; All Things Not Being Equal, They Still Will............................................239The Partnership Principle: Working Together Increases the Odds of Winning Together...............................................................................................248The Satisfaction Principle: In Great Relationships, the Joy of Being Together Is Enough..........................................................................................258Final Review of the People Principles for Winning with People....................................................................................................................266Notes............................................................................................................................................................................269About the Author.................................................................................................................................................................275

Chapter One

Who We Are Determines How We See Others

I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member. -Groucho Marx

THE QUESTION I MUST ASK MYSELF: WHAT IS MY PERCEPTION OF OTHERS?

Have you ever started in a new job and had someone with experience in the organization tell you to watch out for this person or steer clear of that person? That's happened to me a number of times. When I took my first professional leadership position, my predecessor told me to watch out for two people: Audrey and Claude. "They'll cause you a lot of problems," I was told. So I went into my job expecting trouble from them.

First, I watched Audrey. She was a strong woman-and she had a strong personality. (It takes one to know one!) To my surprise, working with her ended up being a wonderful experience. She was confident and competent, and she got things done. We had a good working relationship, and she became a family friend. And Claude turned out to be an old farmer who loved the church. True, he was the greatest influencer in...