What Would Betty Do: How to Succeed at the Expense of Others in the World and the Next - Softcover

Betty Bowers is a better Christian than you! In a world of reflected glory and shameless name-dropping, no one can touch America's most puritanical pundit, Betty Bowers. Betty is so close to Jesus, He's given her His loaves and fish recipe. And only Betty knows how many shopping days there are until the Apocalypse. As she is fond of saying: "If God created me in His image, I have more than returned the compliment!" In Prada and in prayer, Betty has devoted her life to bringing people the Good News: They are going straight to Hell. Thousands have aspired to emulate her joie d'apres vivre by logging on to her popular website, bettybowers.com. But only now, with What Would Betty Do? does she finally reveal her spiritual survival secrets. You'll discover how, come Judgment Day, to be whisked through the 10 Sins or Less express line. But first, you will have to learn how to vote (for God's Own Party, the Republicans), whom to hate (Lie-berals and other non-Baptists), and what to throw (a soir e -- and then a few stones!). "After all," warns Betty, "if Heaven is just going to involve running into all the people you avoided on Earth, what would be the point?" Unchic? Unsaved? Wavering faith? Wandering hands? A pair of $650 Manolo Blahnik pumps that won't go with anything? No problem! Just ask yourself -- What would Betty do?

Betty Bowers was named "America's Best Christian" by W.W.J.D. Power & Associates when they determined that she outperformed all other Christians in a nationwide study of the key areas that drive the Lord's satisfaction.