Proving Manhood: Reflections on Men and Sexism (Men & Masculinity) - Softcover

Is male chauvinism a natural byproduct of American masculinity, or does it reflect a deeper pain and fear at the heart of gender relations? With sensitivity and honesty, Timothy Beneke, author ofMen on Rape, frames the issue of sexism as a problem of masculinity, one deeply rooted in cultural ideals of manhood and forever opposed to the feminine. Men are required to "prove" their masculinity daily from childhood on. They are forced to endure situations of stress and distress that demonstrate their strength and unflappable endurance. In rituals such as sports, sex, and work, men constantly invent and renew their masculine identities as they learn to repress and reject all "feminized" behavior. Pornography, homophobia, and the morning sports section become crucial "proving grounds" where masculinity is tested and asserted.

Beneke argues that men demonstrate the attitudes that underlie sexism in the psychically related practices of reading the sports page and pornographic magazines. In both, men can test their manhood vicariously. Following the lives and careers of athletes religiously in the sports pages, men celebrate and identify with the physical endurance and strength that is at the core of the masculine ideal from the safety of their living rooms. Gazing at languishing nudes inPlayboy, men similarly identify with an ideal of masculine prowess and superiority safe from any threatening manifestations of female sexuality. Beneke negotiates the minefield of sexual politics with intelligence and skill. He draws extensively on his experience as an anti-rape activist to understand the roots of male aggression. With personal anecdotes of hero-worship and guilt over his own struggle with latent sexism, Beneke incorporates a thought-provoking self critique into this unique study of modern masculinity.

"Timothy Beneke's honest and thorough book provides us with the most intriguing discussion of the psychological roots of sexism and homophobia yet written."Richard Isay, author ofBecoming Gay

"The best theorizing about the behavior and consciousness of men that I've read in years. Remarkable for the author's reflexivity, his willingness to probe his own emotions and experiences, the originality of his conclusions. A most important contribution to our understanding of 'compulsive masculinity' and why men are as we are, and how we can change."Bob Blauner, author ofBlack Lives, White Lives

"An important book that should be read by all who would like to eradicate sexism from their lives and their society. His nuanced and thoughtful treatment of men's inhumanity towards women neither blames nor excuses, but offers insight into the deeper causes of sexism and thereby the possibility of change."Robin Lakoff, Dept. of Linguistics, UC Berkeley

"A startling, thoughtful book. Whether ruminating on the numbing self-alienation of reading the sports page, or going through the motions as an anti-rape activist, Tim Beneke's relentless self-examination and careful theoretical exposition allow him to probe men's power and men's pain without reducing one to the other. I've rarely read a work that is as painfully honest and as analytically perceptive."Michael Kimmel, Dept. of Sociology, SUNY, Stonybrook

"Thoughtfully traces the meaning, for men and women both, of the often painful, tired, and tiring injunction to 'act like a man.' Mixing personal storytelling and theoretical reflection, Beneke brings together an enormous range of subjects: the pages of sports and pornography and those of psychoanalytic and feminist theories, homophobic straight men and sexist gay ones, his own mother and his own maleness. Digging at the roots of contemporary manhood, this book is a provocative, welcome search for a masculinity that does not require a constant, compulsive and costly proof."Joshua Gamson, Dept. of Sociology, Yale University

"Proving Manhood is not just another book about men's sexism. It is a revealing exploration of men's pain and the sources of what the author calls compulsive masculinity. Tim Beneke has done what I thought couldn't be donewritten a book that brings fresh understanding to men's issues and done it in a way that engaged me from beginning to end. This is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand the modern American man and his struggle with the women in his life."Lillian Rubin

"Proving Manhood leads both men and women towards a new psychology of men, and ultimately of "persons". Like his earlier reflections on men and rape, he captures the essentials of men trying to keep up with the changes brought about by the woman's movement with both seriousness and humor. This book is required reading for all who want to move from a "macho" man to a "new man" without giving up the finer parts of masculinity."Lenore Walker, author ofThe Battered Woman

"A brave book with great explanatory power." Judith Newton, University of California, Davis