Everything in moderationDenmark is a land of modesty and moderation. This is largely a consequence of the Danes' sense of social responsibility. The touchstone of any activity or point of view is whether it is samfundsrelevant, that is, socially useful. That's not funnyDanish humor suffers from the handicap of the Danes' literal-mindedness (“Can you play the violin?” “I don't know, I've never tried.”), and for their need to conform. In a country where all right-thinking people think the right things, no-one is sufficiently different to laugh at. Combined forcesDanes cooperate. Lego comes from the Danish words leg godt, which means “play well,” and this is just what the Danes are good at. They get along well with other people. In any brochure translated for the world market, the word cooperation will appear at least three times per page along with a generous sprinkling of “joint ventures.” Frankly speakingThey say what they think about sex, politics, religion, everything. Small talk can assume monstrous proportions. They will tell you frankly how much their mortgage is, how much they earn per hour, and whether or not they shave their armpits.
Xenophobe's Guide to the Danes
By Helen Dyrbye, Steven Harris, Thomas Golzen, Catriona Tulloch ScottXenophobe's Guides
Copyright © 2012 Xenophobe's Guides
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-906042-27-1Contents
Title Page,
Nationalism & Identity,
Character,
Attitudes & Values,
Happy Families,
Manners & Behaviour,
Leisure & Pleasure,
Drinking & Eating,
Customs & Traditions,
Sense of Humour,
Systems,
Culture,
Business & Commerce,
Government,
Language,
About the Author,
Copyright,
CHAPTER 1
Nationalism & Identity
The Danes and their neighbours
Denmark is a Scandinavian country, but not a very Scandinavian country. It has no midnight sun, no ski-jumps and no reindeer.
Outsiders tend to think of the Scandinavians as all the same, but they are not. The Norwegians are like the Scots; a hardy mountain folk. Swedes are the Prussians of the North; they stand up straight, dress alike and do what they are told. The Danes are more relaxed and easy-going. They sit down: it increases the chances of everyone seeing eye to eye.
The differences between these three peoples are best understood by considering the most famous writer of each country: Hans Christian Andersen for Denmark, Ibsen for Norway and Strindberg for Sweden.
They are also reflected in attitudes to alcohol. In Denmark alcohol is freely available and relatively cheap. In Norway and Sweden alcohol is pricey and sales are under state control; a licence is needed not just to sell alcohol, but to buy it. This is good news for Copenhagen bars, which do a lively trade selling Danish firewater to thirsty Swedes and Norwegians on the razzle. No Swedish politician would ever be seen with a beer in his hand, but Danes are happy to see Danish politicians not only holding a beer, but drinking it – although they baulk at footing the bill if it's done 'outside office hours'.
The Danes think of their neighbours as they would members of their family. Denmark is the baby sister whose idea of fun occasionally shocks. The other Scandinavian countries are of course brothers. Finland is the one who is moody, unpredictable and possibly autistic. Norway is accepted as equal, perhaps even slightly envied for its oil wealth, natural beauty and exclusivity. Sweden is the boring older brother who thinks he knows best, is well dressed, well behaved and infuriatingly politically correct. However, Sweden offers lower tax, cheaper housing and luxury cars at giveaway prices compared with Denmark. Younger Danes have a sneaking admiration for the Swedes that they try to keep hidden.
The Swedish countryside is much admired and many Danes holiday in Sweden, but they feel somehow that Swedes don't deserve their wonderful surroundings. In Danish eyes Sweden is a cultural and human desert. There are rules about everything and you need a second mortgage to stand a round of drinks. Both countries have fines for dogs fouling the pavement, but in Sweden you actually get caught.
In the spirit of New Europe, Danes try very hard to like the Germans, but it's hard work not to bite the hand that feeds them. Danes are convinced that the Germans are trying to take over Europe, cunningly disguised as tourists. They are intensely concerned that the pølse tyskere (sausage Germans) will buy Jutland as soon as they get the chance and turn it into a windsurfing centre. Germans regularly fall asleep on their sailboards and have to be fished out of the North Sea halfway to Grimsby by the long-suffering Danish air-sea
