AuthorSam Antrim Kane was born the middle of two sisters. He has a sweet loving wife, five children and five grandchildren. In 2004 the family lost uncles and aunts to cancer, cousins, nephews, and nieces to drunk driving and suicide. Sam started writing a "Family Ministries" letter to help families realize they are not alone. He felt the family should have been there to help comfort and support those that were hurting. God continues to inspire him to write these letters each month and mail them out to over 100 family and friends. After his sister Jan died he began writing this book about her and all the struggles, hardships, and bullying that she went through. Everyone no matter who you are just wants to be seen. There is lots of deceptions people use just to be seen such as education, drugs, alcohol, and money.

WHY CAN'T THEY SEE ME?

My Sister Jan's StoryBy SAM ANTRIM KANE

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Sam Antrim Kane
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-4344-3

Contents

Acknowledgements.............................................ixIntroduction.................................................xiChapter 1 Welcome to the Family..............................1Chapter 2 The Risks of Determination.........................8Chapter 3 The Love of Animals................................15Chapter 4 Mom's Dream Comes True.............................20Chapter 5 Beginning A New Life...............................27Chapter 6 New Adventures.....................................34Chapter 7 No Child Should Be Left Behind.....................42Chapter 8 Time of Change and Tribulation.....................50Chapter 9 Change Is Not Always Good..........................59Chapter 10 Home at Last......................................64Chapter 11 Hardship and Sorrow...............................72

Chapter One

Welcome to the Family

Grandpa Jones had rented a 120-acre farm next to my dad's farm, and my uncles attended to the cattle and crops-on the rented farm. They became acquainted with my dad, Murray Kane. My uncles liked the rodeo and asked my dad if he would like to go with them. He said he would. Mom had planned to go with them, but her brothers didn't want her to go since my dad was going. Grandpa and Grandma told the boys that their sister had been planning on going to this rodeo as long as they had, and they needed to let her to go with them. So Don, Cliff, Morris, Mom, and Murray went to the rodeo. Mom and Dad rode in the back seat going home and Dad sang "Ruby" from the 1952 movie "Ruby Gentry". They all had a memorable time.

One day, when my uncles were working on Grandpa's property, Dad told Uncle Cliff to ask Mom if she would go out with him. Cliff told him to ask her himself, so he told Cliff to tell her he would be over at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday night. Cliff was always teasing and joshing Mom so when he told her what Dad had said, she didn't believe him. On Saturday night, Cliff told Mom she better get dressed, as Murray would be coming to take her out. She still did not believe him, but Grandpa told her to get dressed and if Murray did not show up then Cliff would get a whipping. Mom got dressed, and Dad showed up at 7:00 p.m.

Mom worked at the Clarke County Hospital as a nursing assistant. Dad would sometimes pick her up at work, and they would go to a movie. When she had a day off, they would sometimes visit Dad's Uncle Vernon in Creston, Iowa. Dad liked to dance and taught Mom to waltz. They dated about six months before Dad asked Mom to marry him.

They were married on my grandparent Kane's' anniversary, Christmas Eve 1953. They were married in the parsonage of the Methodist Church in Murray, Iowa. The ceremony was performed by Reverend Lacy Thompson. Mom's brother, John and his wife, Phyllis were the best man and matron of honor. Mom had been maid of honor at their wedding. Mom's friend Ruth sang "Because" and was accompanied on the piano by Cheri, one of Mom's classmates. The reception, attended by both families, was at Dad's grandma and grandpa's home in Murray, Iowa. When everyone went out to see the bride and groom off and to wish them a Merry Christmas, one of the candles on a table caught the table cloth on fire. Luckily, someone went back in to get something and was able to put the fire out. What a way to finalize a wedding.

Mom did not drive and she thought it was too much for Dad to get up take her to work and then pick her up after work, so she quit her job at the hospital and helped Dad on the farm. She planted a garden every summer and canned some of the fruits and vegetables. They had plum and apple trees, so she made use of them. Later on, they bought a freezer so she could freeze some of the fruits, vegetables, and some meat. She also helped Dad with loading the baled hay and putting it into the barn. Since the house was not modern and was without running water and bathrooms, she had to heat the water for laundry in a large galvanized tub and then dump it into the washer. Drinking water had to be carried to the house in a bucket. Mom raised chickens and butchered them for cooking and freezing. Dad thought she should learn to drive, so he taught her to drive a stick-shift 1951 Plymouth.

They had been married five months when Mom became pregnant. Dad's cousin Larry White, who was in the military, came to visit, and apparently Mom's manner fluctuated from sweet and friendly to depressed and grouchy. Dad could not understand what her problem was.

Larry told dad, "She's pregnant".

After Larry left, Dad told Mom what Larry had said. She had thought she might be pregnant but had not said anything to Dad because she wasn't sure. She waited a couple of months and then made an appointment with Dr. George who acknowledged she was pregnant. They did not have pregnancy tests in those days, so women had to wait until the doctor could hear the fetal heart-beat. The pregnancy went well. Mom never had morning sickness, and the depressed grouch disappeared.

My sister Jan was born around 2:30 p.m. on Saturday, February 19, 1955. She was a perfect little twenty-one inch six pound-six ounce baby girl, with not a blemish or imperfection what-so ever. Since Mom had worked at the hospital as a nursing assistant before getting married, the nurse in the labor and delivery department announce over the loud-speaker that Ruby had had a baby girl. Mom's parents were in the lobby waiting for the great happening, but little did they know it would be announced over the loud-speaker.

* * *

Baby Jan seemed in good health. She took a breath and cried as soon as she was delivered, but she didn't nurse very well that week in the hospital and lost weight to five pounds nine ounces before going home.

Even after going home she would not nurse. One night Mom gave her a bottle and she took it. That did it Mom decided to put her on the bottle instead of nursing her. That was probably the only bottle she ever took without having to be coaxed and encouraged to eat.

There had been some debate about what to name her. Dad wanted to name her Jan but my parents could not think of a middle name to go with Jan. They finally came up with Janet Lucille. Dad did not like nicknames even though his family called him Bud, so he always called my sister Janet while everyone else called her Jan, which is the name she liked.

Uncle Tom was seven years old when Jan was born, and Uncle David was three. Uncle Dave thought she was perfect, just like Mom's dolls he played with. But Uncle Tom thought she should at least be able to walk.

They loved Jan, as did the older uncles, John, Don, Cliff, Morris, and Gene. Uncle Tom and Uncle David being nearer her age loved having her to play with.

Nonnie, Dad's mother, came to stay with them for a week to do cooking, housework, laundry, and what-ever needed to be done. She couldn't understand why the baby didn't eat. Grandma Jones couldn't understand it either. She had seven boys and Mom and had never had a baby that wouldn't eat. Jan was drinking from a sippy cup at two months. They were so poor that Mom couldn't afford baby food, so she began feeding Jan Jell-O, pureed fruits and vegetables, and cream of wheat by the time she was three months old.

Jan could not lift and control her head until she was ten months old. Shortly after learning to control her head, she learned to sit up. And, at a year, she began scooting around and crawling. She could pull herself...