More and more young adults have opted out of Christianity and the church. The reason? Christians.

When young adults talk about the problems they have with Christianity and the church, they often name certain attitudes and behaviors they believe are practiced too often by Christians: judging others, condemning people of other faiths, rejecting science, injecting politics into faith, and being anti-homosexual. With his familiar style, Adam Hamilton tackles these issues and addresses the how's and why's of Christians getting it right when it comes to being Christ in the world.

When Christians Get It Wrong Participant Book  may be used with campus ministries, small groups, and Sunday school classes. The six-session Participant Book features additional stories, reflection questions and Scripture insights to help groups read and study together.

When Christians Get It Wrong Participant Book for Small Group Study

By Adam Hamilton

Abingdon Press

Copyright © 2010 Abingdon Press
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4267-1219-7

Chapter One

WHEN CHRISTIANS ARE UNCHRISTIAN

Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, "This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them." (Luke 15:1-2)

A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to interview David Kinnaman, co-author with Gabe Lyons of the 2007 book unChristian. When I asked him to summarize the findings presented in the book, this is what he said:

Young people are more secular than ever before.... About one in five ... are either atheist or agnostic or [have] no faith. That compares to about one in every twenty people ... over the age of 60. Essentially, people believe Christianity is no longer like Jesus intended. That's why they say it is unchristian. They believe essentially that we're hypocritical ... judgmental ... sheltered ... too political ... anti-homosexual ... too focused on getting converts—that we're proselytizers. This negative set of perceptions overwhelms any favorable ideas about seeing us doing good deeds [in] the world. They see this overwhelmingly negative picture of the church, and they reject Jesus and the church because they don't want to be associated with that kind of people.

If these words accurately describe how young adults have experienced Christians, is it any surprise that they are turning away from the Christian faith in droves?

When I've asked non-Christians what they think Jesus stood for, most say, "Love." And they are correct—this is one of the defining elements of Jesus' teaching. He told his followers that God's will for humanity could be summarized with two commands: love God and love your neighbor. He went on to say that our neighbor is anyone who needs our help. The love we are to show is not a feeling but a way of acting—kindness and compassion and a desire to bless and seek good for others. He told his disciples they were to love not only their neighbors and friends, but their enemies as well. He told them that the world would know that they are his disciples by their love. Most non-Christians know that Jesus stood for love, which is why it feels particularly off-putting when those who claim to follow Jesus act in unloving ways.

This disparity between the love Christians are meant to display and what young adults often experience is most pronounced when Christians speak with judgment or in disparaging ways toward others.

One young man described his experience when he was invited to attend a special youth group event at a big church in his town. He noted the kids rarely spoke to him at school until it was "bring a friend day" at youth group. They invited him to join their group at the local waterpark.

Here's his description of how the day went:

It didn't start off badly; the rides at the park were fun, and I even enjoyed hanging out with some of them. But during the long ride back to the church, they started talking about people. They discussed who was having sex, who was smoking weed, who was gay. The more they talked, the worse things they said. Many of the people they were talking about were my friends, and they knew it! To make things worse, some of the ones talking loudest were doing the very things they were gossiping about. Finally, they got on to the subject of who was going to hell. It seems that if you didn't go to their brand of church, you didn't stand a chance of getting into heaven. That, of course, meant me, and it didn't seem to matter to them at all that I was sitting right there, soaking all this up.

The judgmentalism, hypocrisy, and unloving spirit these Christians displayed left this young man determined not to go back to church.

Another young woman echoed these same sentiments when she said,

I'm thinking of the Christians in my school that I see every day. They judge everyone constantly. It's annoying and a lot of people don't really like it or like them because of it. I have a really good friend who claims to be a really hard-core Christian but he smokes weed all the time and drinks and does all these things and lies, and he's just not a Christian at all.

Both of these young people turned away from the Christian faith because of the actions of young Christians they knew. But this is not a phenomenon that is unique to young people. No doubt you can think of your own example of Christians you have known who were judgmental, hypocritical, and unloving. Some of the most insensitive, critical, judgmental, and mean-spirited people I've known were persons who claimed to be committed Christians.

I was officiating at the graveside funeral for a young man who had taken his own life. The parents were still in shock and experiencing intense grief. In the eulogy and message I sought to help them, and all who had gathered, to make sense of this terrible tragedy while finding in God comfort and hope. And we remembered the unique and special qualities of their son. Following the service a sister and brother-in-law of one of the boy's parents came to me and asked, "Why didn't you tell them that their son is in hell today?" I was taken aback and asked, "How do you know the boy is in hell today? Do you know what was in the boy's heart? Are you so certain you know the mind of God?" They looked at me and walked away. What kind of people are so certain of another's eternal fate that they can stand before grieving parents and callously tell them their son is in hell?

I could fill this book with story after story like this from my own personal experience of Christians, including a few pastors I know, who are free with their condemnation of everyone who doesn't conform to their very narrow view of the world, of the Bible, and of truth.

JESUS AND THE PHARISEES

Of course, Jesus confronted the same kinds of things in his day. If you read the Gospels carefully, Jesus never got angry with prostitutes, adulterers, or ordinary "sinners." Nor did his actions turn such people away. In fact, Jesus drew "sinners" to himself by the thousands. He made such people feel at ease. The only people Jesus had words of judgment for in the Gospels were the religious folks. What angered him the most about these people, particularly the religious leaders, was their judgmentalism, their hypocrisy, and their failure to love. They believed God was primarily interested in people following the rules. Jesus taught that God's primary rule was love, and that God's interest wasn't in condemning "sinners" but in drawing them to God.

Though Jesus was opposed by various people in the Gospels, his primary opposition was from the Pharisees, who believed that holiness and a life pleasing to God were found in separating themselves from sin and in obeying the commands of God. Although this makes sense, the Pharisees, like many modern-day Christians, had missed the point. They failed to see that God's primary concern is not rules, but people. They should have been celebrating the fact that thousands of people who had turned away from organized religion were drawn to hear Jesus teach about the kingdom of God. Instead they were repulsed by...