CHAPTER 1

Learning to Move Silently

I'm pretty short by American standards, and although I was petite for much of myyouth, I have become somewhat solid in my middle age. But I was always veryconscious of my body, and what it could do. In my youth, as a field biologist, Itook delight in clambering up rocks and pushed myself to the limit to coverterritory, since I had to work very hard to keep up with colleagues who stood afoot taller than I did. And in my years doing amateur and professional theater,I delighted in whatever ability I had to dance a bit, and to move with grace.When I took up various martial arts, that body sense was enhanced.

When Gretchen the Wolf was my companion, she shared with me the energy of thepack and the hunter. She and Rogar No-Wolf (a rescued German Shepherd) and Iplayed flanking games out in the backyard, a game I dubbed Wolf and Caribou. Iwas always the caribou. But with the cats' arrival I found that I had to make agreat shift in the way I moved and played. Not that cats aren't predators. Theyare that, and carnivores. But there was a difference in the way they tracked andhunted and played. No more rough-and-tumble games for me. I quickly learned thatif I moved abruptly, they would shy away. And they are so small, not thehundred-pound wolf who was pretty indestructible. They may tumble each other andrabbit kick with their hind legs, but I couldn't do that with them. Oh, I'd letthem wind around an arm or leg and bat to their heart's content, and accept afew battle scars, but I couldn't really play hard back. They are fragile.Despite notions about nine lives, cats can easily be damaged, or even killed.And they are wary. They must be. And so I began to map my motions to theirs.

And I discovered that all those years of stomping around had left me clumsy.Although the fluidity of even fully armed martial arts had taught me to keep myedge and move without thinking about it, these arts had also taught me to be onedge, and that isn't the same thing. I had lost the subtlety of my body, and therelaxed flexibility of my muscles and joints. So I began to retrain, to pleasemy cats.

Movements were now deliberate, calm, slow. Before I moved, I watched to see whowas near me. Was Isabel near? She was always more jumpy, and more playful, thanher brother, but also much more shy. Was Iggy asleep? He has a true tom'stemperament, and sometimes he can sleep through a storm, but sudden movementsalert him to protect his territory, and his queen. Were they awake? What didthey tell me with their eyes, and their silent movement? What did they want andwhere did they wish to go?

Often, I would follow them around the yard, especially when they paced togetherlike a tiny pride of lions. And I would fall in and pace with them. I could feeltheir tidy paws, and their economy of motion. I could see their muscles as theywalked, and tell by the position of their tails, Iggy's straight up, Isabel's ina sweet question-mark curve, what their mood was. How determined, how relaxed,how much they were posturing and prancing for each other and for me.

I stopped leaping out of chairs. I stopped dashing through the house. I stoppedwildly rummaging in closets, and making loud exclamations as I went. I became soquiet that after a few years my newer friends told me that they were amazed whenthey finally did see me as my old whirlwind self.

Picture the original old TV series Kung Fu. Do you remember Grasshopper tryingto walk on the rice paper without leaving a mark? Any cat can do it, paws down!

Let us begin to take on our cat form.

Start with five minutes, at least once every day. Consciously become aware ofevery move you make. How smooth are your moves, how natural? Do they cause painin any part of your body? How silently can you get up from a chair, or sit backdown? Can you lift an object—a plate, let's say—silently and gracefully? Can youcross a room, especially a small or cluttered room, without disturbing yourcats? Do you know where their tails are? If you get up at night, do you knowthat nobody has slipped under you when you return to bed in a dark room? Cats dolove our body heat, and when they love us, they also love our scent andpresence. So, before you lurch into bed, do you make sure you are alone?

Do you remember the Carl Sandburg poem about the fog coming in on little cat'sfeet? Can you ooze in like the fog? We don't call Isabel "Invisabel" fornothing! I can look straight at her and not see her until she "uncloaks." Canyou be so still and quiet that you can become invisible in a room? Try it.

Have you ever noticed just how much noise we live with? Roll down your windowwhile driving on the highway. It is deafening. Can you feel the chaotic energyof the rushing traffic? If we were to believe the car ads on TV, it's exciting,even empowering, but just look at the mad chaos of our highways. Look at thepeople around you encased in their expensive cars, pretending they are at easeand in luxury. They are in a hurry. You are in their way. Rush, rush, rush. Timeis money. My time is more valuable than your time. My space is more importantthan your space, and at 65 mph, negotiating that space is a deadly game. This isnot an empowering experience. This is a terrifying one. We are not movingsilently, with finesse, and mindfulness. We are rushing headlong into an abyssof mind-numbing terror.

Go back to that backyard. See yourself in the overgrown grass, sitting quietlyand watching the cats walk purposefully from one place of meditation to another.Feel the difference? Feel all the places in which you were holding tension,self-protection, fear; now open them up and become soft and flowing. Breatheinto this slow and purposeful walk across the grass, and through the shrubbery,or over the porch. Find a place where the cat in you now settles. On a rock orlawn chair? Under a cool rose bush? Flopped in a tangle of long grass? Sittingupright like a statue of the Egyptian goddess Bast? Or settled into a "muffin,"your body tucked up into the Center of the Universe? Now, you are walkingsilently.

When you walk, can you hear your feet click on the ground? Can you walk withoutbeing heard? Can you walk with your gaze forward? Does your body follow yourgaze, or your gaze your body? That is, do you lead with your eyes or your body?Does this inform you of how...