Life is filled with contrasting moments. Unfortunate things can happen to you at any point. Perhaps you plan to wed and your fiancé suddenly calls off the wedding. You could be killed in a car accident; a loved one could die of disease. Or, worse still, you could enter a shopping mall and a disturbed individual could take his or her anger out on the world by going on a shooting rampage at the store where you shop. How do you react to such adversity? With what attitude do you approach such adversity? Perhaps you spend time seeking revenge or remaining bitter about what happened to you. Or, perhaps you are consumed by anger to the extent that your only concern is how others can feel the wrath. While these are ways of responding to adversity, this book cleverly dissuades this kind of approach. It destroys your present and hinders your future. The goal of this book is to help you realize this before precious time is wasted and invite you to learn how to let go of the past in order to invite a more prosperous future.

THE UNPREDICTABILITY OF LIFE

How to Respond to AdversitiesBy Killian Muli

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Killian Muli
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-2240-9

Contents

Please Note:.........................................................................vA Word from the Author...............................................................viiDedication...........................................................................xiPreface..............................................................................xiiiThe Unpredictability of Life and Our Response........................................xiiiPart I: Vulnerability................................................................1Why Revenge Does Not Pay.............................................................3How We Can Learn From the Pain.......................................................4A Tearful Recount....................................................................6(i) Anger............................................................................15(ii) Retaliation.....................................................................16(iii) Jealousy.......................................................................17(iv) Pride...........................................................................17(v) Showing Weakness.................................................................18(vi) Protect Yourself................................................................18Part II: How Your Choices Shape Your Future..........................................19How is this Related to Forgiveness?..................................................23Part III: How Holding Onto Pain Affects Spirituality.................................25Why Holding onto Pain is Harmful.....................................................29(i) Indifference.....................................................................29(ii) Guilt...........................................................................30(iii) Grudge.........................................................................32(iv) Retaliation.....................................................................32(v) Anger............................................................................34(vi) Bitterness......................................................................35(vii) Jeopardized Relationships......................................................35(viii) Hatred........................................................................35Part IV: How Learning From The Past Can Lead To A Better Present.....................37The Benefits of Letting Go...........................................................43(i) Peace............................................................................43(ii) Perception......................................................................43(iii) Healing........................................................................44(iv) Sense of Relief.................................................................45(v) An Increase in Love..............................................................46Part V: Jesus: The Perfect Model Of Forgiveness......................................51Today's World........................................................................58Reflection...........................................................................61Epilogue.............................................................................65Bibliography.........................................................................67Endnotes.............................................................................69

Chapter One

Part I: Vulnerability

I wish that nothing bad would happen to you, but that is unlikely to be the case. I have experienced misfortunes: both minor and catastrophic. I have witnessed both major historical happenings and everyday misfortunes.

How do you react to difficult situations? Do you vow revenge when you feel you have been wronged? Or, do you seek to learn lessons from that suffering to live in the present? It is easier to hold onto pain than it is to search for life lessons. However, the only true road to a brighter future is paved with forgiveness, and not revenge. In the following chapters, we will examine the dangers of holding onto painful experiences; we will explore how this affects our lives. Through reading the following chapters, you will learn the value of letting go of the past in order to gain a better future.

From my childhood, I have known a universal terror that I refer to as living in the past. I have watched people waste literally years of their lives because they were utterly consumed by past experiences. They awoke each and every morning lamenting about the past. As such, they were never able to truly appreciate life. We are only given one life to live-a minute time on this precious earth. Life is unpredictable. We have countless examples of how life can change in an instant. You could be killed in a car accident, a loved one could die of disease, you could enter a shopping mall and a disturbed individual could take his or her anger out on the world by going on a shooting rampage at the store where you shop. So why would you choose to spend your life consumed by the past? You should learn to be thankful for each day because you never know when your time is up, and although this may seem cruel or harsh, it is the truth.

I was raised in a Christian family with seven brothers and three sisters. Although my family led a Christian life, not all days were Sundays. We all knew many Good Fridays without Easter Sundays. Fights, disobedience, intimidation, and quarrels were normal ingredients of the day. When we did not deliver in our duties, whether in school or at home, such a failure was deemed disobedient, and a severe spanking would follow. It was a time when the only way to solve a conflict was to react. If we arrived late to church, we were punished; and on the following Sunday, we would arrive to church on time. If we talked during the celebration, we were asked to leave. When we returned, we remained silent. This is how we learned to behave appropriately. We learned that every action has a consequence. If we chose to act out, then we were punished. But I never learned to feel bitter or resentment towards anyone who punished me because I realized at a very early age that I had the power to control how others reacted towards me.

Why Revenge Does Not Pay

At some point in adulthood, most people learn that revenge does not pay. Even though you think you will feel better once you reach revenge on a person who wronged you, it often carries an unsatisfying emotion. This is because you most likely cared for the person who hurt you. If you did not care about the person who hurt you, or how they felt about you, then you would not feel the need to seek revenge. However, the person who hurt you could have been a parent, a sibling or a lover; the point is that these are the people who should love, protect and support you. Therefore, when they harm you, it leaves you with deep pain and even shock. You can spend years trying to seek revenge, but it will not bring you peace or happiness. Most likely, you will actually feel guilt for hurting the person you still love. Even though the person hurts you, you still love him or her, especially when they brought you happiness or joy in the past.

I have realized that it is a waste of valuable time and resources to dwell on a bitter past. When we live in the past, we keep it...