This manuscript, "The Turning Point - When a Pleaser of Man Becomes a Servant of the Lord," is a call for believers to stand up to core values and teachings of Christianity in the face of challenges and not to submit to the ways of the world. In the book, I address the current state of affairs, where people have submitted to the demands and expectations of others to shape the way they live. Most often, they have chosen a path away from the virtues taught by Jesus Christ, paralleling the struggles of men and women of our biblical times. I address some of the issues we face on a daily basis such as stress, premarital sex, and the various life roles we must play. In the latter part of the manuscript, I share personal testimonies about my life struggles imparted by the work of the devil, and how I found peace and joy through the salvation of Jesus Christ. In closing, I exhort everyone to check their own lives and live up to the ways of righteousness.

The Turning Point

When a Pleaser of Man Becomes a Servant of the LordBy Katina S. Acker

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Katina S. Acker
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-9677-6

Contents

Introduction................................................................................ixChapter 1 Who Do They Say You Are?.........................................................1Chapter 2 Teenage People Pleasing Behavior.................................................31Chapter 3 High School and Mother-Hood, Who Said It Would Be Easy!..........................38Chapter 4 Adulthood and the Roles We Must Play.............................................41Chapter 5 Older Doesn't Always Mean Wiser..................................................52Chapter 6 A Prayer to Prepare the Hearts of the Readers....................................61Chapter 7 When You Don't Love Yourself It's Impossible to Love Another.....................67Chapter 8 Stop Listening to the Devil......................................................76Chapter 9 Domestic Violence It's More Serious than You Think...............................83Chapter 10 God Is Always Listening..........................................................89Chapter 11 Do You Know What an Angel Looks Like?............................................93Chapter 12 The Turning Point................................................................100Chapter 13 The Saint that Ain't Yet!........................................................108Chapter 14 Are You Ready for Your Boaz?.....................................................113Chapter 15 Deliverance or Exorcist Who Knew They Were True..................................123Chapter 16 Free to Be a 'God' Pleaser.......................................................130Chapter 17 A Call for All...................................................................144Endnotes....................................................................................149

Chapter One

Who Do They Say You Are?

You're probably asking yourself, who cares what people have to say about me? I'm here to tell you, you care! Many women and quite a few men spend a lot of time building their lives, dreams, careers, and family values around what they believe people are saying or thinking about them. The fact is, people are going to talk about you, and it could either build you up or tear you down. How you handle these comments will help you discover who you are attempting to please. Too often we think that this type of behavior only happens to celebrities, but I'm here to tell you that it could happen to anyone at some point in their life. We are all potential candidates for the people pleasing syndrome, regardless of our economic status, belief, race, gender, or where we live. The Oxford American Dictionary describes syndrome as a combination of opinions, behavior, etc. that are characteristic of a particular condition. So, when I speak of people pleasing syndrome, I'm gearing my concerns more toward people pleasing behavioral patterns. You can even behave like one and not even know it!

The author of the Battle Ground Of The Mind, gives an even deeper understanding of how we respond to what we believe people are saying or thinking about us. This author states, "Our souls, wrought with insecurities, and we are highly sensitive to the criticisms and compliments of others. In the search to find oneself, such words are poured into young hearts like molten steel which, as they cool, are fused into our natures." That nature could very well be the beginning of a people pleasing behavior pattern if not handled properly.

Here are a few characteristics of what I believe describes the behavior pattern of a person under the influence of the people pleasing syndrome. The following fictional scenarios depict statements that we often hear from people who are under the influence of the syndrome.

Example 1) My mom always told me that my body is the temple of the LORD. Because of that statement I've decided that I don't want to have sex until I'm married. Things are different now; I have a new boyfriend and I'm in love with him. We've been together for almost nine months and I don't want him to break up with me. He told me that he is going to marry me some day. No one has ever told me that before. I know he will as soon as we save up enough money for the wedding of our dreams. He told me that he feels it is a stupid request for a woman to make a man wait to have sex, suggesting that waiting could have bad consequences, especially if the man was not satisfied properly. He felt that is why our society has such a high divorce rate and that we should have sex at least once before the big day.

He reminded me that before I decided to purchase my car, I took it for a test drive. He said I did that because I wanted to get a feel for the car to see how it really drove. He also reminded me that even though the salesmen told us all there was to know about the car, I still wanted to see for myself if the car was going to live up to all that he said it would. He asked me why shouldn't I give him the same benefit? I know he was comparing sex to buying a car, but it was kind of the same thing if you really thought about it. I did take the car for a test drive before making my final decision to purchase it. Why shouldn't I allow him the same benefits? (Just hang in there; the answer to this question is coming up real soon.)

I know he loves me and considers me his wife and we will get married eventually. Having sex this once shouldn't be that bad. I know GOD will understand, since HE doesn't want us to end up in divorce court. Marriage is a very big step, so a person should weigh all his or her options before jumping into a big decision like this. I'll tell him if I do it this once, it will have to be enough until the big night. I'm sure he will understand, since I've proven my love for him by giving him my body before the LORD requires me to.

This scenario shows a young woman's desperate attempt to prove her love for a young man she believes will someday be her husband. You're probably asking yourself how this example fits with the people pleasing syndrome? Let me explain. The young lady was blinded by lust, not love, and she allowed her fianc's interpretation about sexual values to down play the true consequences of "fornication." You see, adultery and fornication come from the same Greek word; porneia. Porneia means all sexual activities outside of marriage including both adultery and homosexuality. Pretty deep isn't it? Let's go a little deeper, shall we. When a woman commits an adulterous act, the New Testament uses the Greek word, pornos. Pornos means prostitute; and since adultery and fornication bare the same Greek word, we can conclude that a woman that participates in fornication has prostituted herself. Wow! That's a pretty powerful statement. To be considered a prostitute in GOD's eyes doesn't mean you have to sell yourself for money. You can prostitute yourself to gain the heart of someone, romance with someone, for favors, goods, or financial gain. In GOD's eyes, any woman regardless of the reasons or excuses she tries to give, that falls into any sexual activity outside of marriage is considered a prostitute. Now that I have your undivided attention, I will give you a few Bible verses that also support my claim.

Galatians 5: 16 - 23, clearly spells out the difference between lust and love. Lust is of the devil and is manifested in our lives through works of the flesh, and Love...