LEADING & LIFE

Leaders can become melancholy at times. Lost time with the kids, not calling the parents as often as they should, not much time to tell the wife "I love you", and always in a hurry to go to the next project or assignment. Drive forward. No retreat. No rest. No satisfaction in the job. Little satisfaction in their home life. Sometimes slowing down is a good thing. Forgive each other. Smell the roses occasionally. Life goes around but once. Don't miss it!

I Wish I Had ...

Before we go to our final resting place, if we have an opportunity to say a few words, what do you think we will say? Will we speak of our regrets and our successes? What will we say to our friends? What about our enemies? Will we speak kindly and generously of our superiors at work and our co-workers? What about the ones that nurtured, guided, chastised, corrected, praised, and forced us to become better?

What about family and work? We all have to work in order to make money to raise a family and have a roof over our heads. The question is, how much work is enough and how much family time do we need to sacrifice to become successful? Times arise when there is no way to make the recital, the game, the school play. However, there have been, and will be times when we could attend but don't because we feel guilty for leaving work early. We justify with, "No one else leaves early and there is just too much to do. There will be such a backlog when I get back, I'll never get caught up."

Children are probably the closest thing to heaven most of us will see. The early years go quickly and the first step and the first word will only occur once. Development begins, then pre-teen, then the dreaded teen years when they start thinking for themselves and challenging the status quo. While challenging the way things are, they are also watching to see how we react. They are looking for love, understanding, discipline, and guidance without verbalizing their need for them.

Do you think you would say, "I wish I had spent more time at the office? Always more that needed to be done. Probably should have played more golf and done a little more fishing. The bowling league was fun and I should have bowled on two teams." On the other hand, do you think it would go something like this, "I wish I had spent more time with my family. Picnics, if only in the backyard. Play catch and just talk. Family night around the dinner table. Should have been more involved at school and had individual time with each child doing things they like to do. My wife deserved more attention and kinder words from me. Group hugs. More hugs period. I wish I could have a `do over'."

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

Kindness

What does it take for people to be kind and why aren't we kinder to one another? How much energy does it take to be kind; give a smile, speak to a stranger, let another go first in line, hold a door open, say thank you and mean it, bend over and pick up something another has dropped—not much energy required is it? If it's this simple, then why don't we show acts of kindness? In public, we're usually in too much of a hurry and at work, well, we don't want to appear soft. These two behaviors can drive a wedge between others and us at work. Being kind does not mean being a push over. A kind person does not mean someone without serious ideas. Kind does mean you are considerate, empathetic, understanding, and willing to acknowledge others in various phases of your life. Kindness costs nothing monetarily and requires very little effort be put forth. Any act of kindness shown to you has been remembered, right? The question should be, "How many people remember your acts of kindness?"

Mark Twain said, "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Proverbs 11:17 says, "A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself." NIV

They Let Me Know

My daughter-in-law was in the kitchen with me when one of the grands came running up and said, "Mommy, you forgot!" Jackie, my daughter-in-law, commented how they never let you forget. Seems like the kids never let you forget even if they forget to pick up the toys, clean their rooms, or brush their teeth.

Co-workers can be quick to point out what the leader has forgotten. Leaders, much like parents, are subject to this type of scrutiny. The use of calendars, alarms on the cell phone, notes jotted down on a legal pad, or just memory never erases all the "you forgot" comments. Parents do not intentionally forget and neither do leaders. Mental lapses, multi-tasking, and the rush to meet other needs all arise, and forgetting is the occasional price paid.

Forgetting is not the final outcome once it is brought to light. All things can be corrected and mended. Nothing is more valuable than an "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I did forget but did not mean to cause you harm." More times than not, an admittance from the superior of a mistake will open the eyes of the subordinate that a true leader can and will admit to mistakes and will make amends.

"Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them." Proverbs 4:5 NIV

Culture

Often times, younger individuals change direction with the wind. The old adage of finding one's self has some validity, but I think it can quickly become a scapegoat. Immaturity and avoidance of responsibility have nothing to do with finding one's self. Although, this does start the early development of one's culture.

Younger individuals need a strong foundation to lean on as they progress in life. Free lunches will be in short supply as growth takes place. Individuals begin their development of culture at early ages and the process continues as life's circumstances change. No one is guaranteed anything in life. In America, we like to say all have a chance and can be anything we desire. Other countries cannot boast of this ability to afford opportunities. With these opportunities, culture will be developed based on decisions made. Decisions are made based on one's individual culture.

Honesty and integrity are good basis points for all culture. Age is irrelevant to developing one's culture. True enough, the younger someone is, the less likely they are to understand culture and how it develops. What about us older individuals? We have grown, failed, succeeded, laughed, cried, evaluated, understood, and misunderstood. Have we laid down a foundation for a strong culture for the younger generations? Leaders of families, businesses, and communities shoulder responsibility to assist in the development of individual culture. Leaders understand the need for business culture. Leaders need to understand that without strong individual culture, businesses do not exist.

"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity." Proverbs 11:3 NIV

Everyone Has a Niche

I have published on Kindle, and soon Nook, two books of fiction. My wife told me that I should write a children's book as the grandkids and I are always going at each other. So, Chinky Chunk Chin the `possum, Ikky Yack Yuk the skunk, Illy Nilly Roll the rabbit, and Filly Felly Nell the horse, have spoken on paper, be it electronically. Angie, my friend, will do the editing as she did on the fiction books, and my wife, Lynn, will do the...