Yes You Can Survive Adolescence and Beyond was inspired by Jeffrey Harris' childhood and life long experience. Growing up without knowing his biological father, reared in a financially challenged household, Mr. Harris makes no excuses of what he didn't have, but talks about how he achieved what he does have. He learned the values of hardwork at an early age. Self-determination never left him although hard times challenged him. Reflecting on how he walked around with cardboard stuffed at the bottom of his shoes to replace their worn soles, drug dealing and use, and gang involvement, Mr. Harris knows that there is a much better life for everyone despite their challenges. The book captures such experiences of everyday people and prominent people we all know. His experience in the United States Army awakened him to his life's purpose. Although those years were not his best, they were the years that fertilized the seed his grandfather planted within him to cultivate the man he is today. This book is straight talk. It is nothing spectacular, but provocative, practical, profound and to the point. His advice to young people is believable and achievable. The book is trusting and real. Now, you be the judge!

Yes, You Can Survive Adolescence and Beyond: Real Talk

By Jeffrey D. Harris

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Jeffrey D. Harris
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4567-5636-9

Contents

Dedication..................................................viiIn Memory...................................................xiAcknowledgements............................................xiiiIntroduction................................................xvForward.....................................................xixChapter 1 The Plan..........................................1Chapter 2 Family Matters....................................19Chapter 3 Health............................................31Chapter 4 Community Justice.................................41Chapter 5 Education.........................................47Chapter 6 Job World.........................................53Chapter 7 Female and Male Relationships.....................59Chapter 8 Politics..........................................69Chapter 9 Finances..........................................75Chapter 10 Spirituality.....................................83Bibliography................................................87Internet Resources..........................................89References..................................................91

Chapter One

The Plan

Possibly the trickiest part of getting what you want in life is just figuring out what you really want! And yet it is certainly the most important part of all. ~Excerpt from Creative Visualization, Shakti Gawain

Most people struggle with three basic issues in life. The first is the issue of existence: "Why am I alive?" The second is the issue of significance: "Does my life matter?" And the third is the issue of intention: "What is my purpose?"

Right now, you are probably searching within yourself to identify these answers. For some reason, you are struggling to find them. Do not feel lost. For few adolescents have reached the maturity to adequately answer these profound questions.

You can begin by exercising your mind. Follow this exercise. But before you do this exercise, get a pencil and paper handy. Oh, make sure the pencil has an eraser. Close your eyes and ask yourself the three questions: Why am I alive? Does my life matter? What is my purpose? If you are stumped for answers, then simplify the questions: What contribution would I like to give to my family, my community, my race, and/or my country? What do I want out of life? Whom would my life's purpose benefit? Write your answers on the paper. This is important because now you have (1) imagined it, and (2) made it exist. Many times, we imagine a thing and think it makes sense until we actually write it down on paper. Once we see it inscribed on paper, it isn't as clear as we had visualized. An eraser gives you the ability to write more clearly. At some point, you may rediscover who you are and decide to change your goal to fulfill your life's purpose. That's okay; it happens. You can make changes with an eraser.

Of the twelve principles that I have found to build good character, purpose is mentioned first. In this book, I associate the word goal with purpose. I have defined purpose to mean what one will leave behind as his gift to the world through one's life's work. A goal is defined in this book as the vehicle one uses to fulfill his or her purpose. So in this chapter, I will discuss finding your purpose in life, how others found theirs, and how we can use our goals to fulfill our purpose, and last, I share how you can anticipate the challenges ahead.

Purpose

We are all destined for that return to the essence of life. If that is too profound for you, then let me say it this way: we all must die.

Whether you become famous, or you are just an ordinary "Joe," you will leave this planet and be remembered by someone. It is that which you leave behind that defines your life's purpose. Now there are only two ways you can go: negative or positive. It's the law of duality. If not this, then that. You can take the opportunity to be in control of your fate, or you can have your fate defined by others. So, what contribution will you strive to make?

I inherited my life's purpose from my grandfather, Carroll Marilla Sr. He and his brother Oliver worked in the coal mines in the small towns along the Monongahela River in western Pennsylvania. While working as a coal miner, he went to work on his life's mission. He was active in the local coal mining union, organized voting carpools for local residents, and was founding secretary of the town's local NAACP branch. My grandfather shared those stories with me when I was a little boy. Mr. Marilla was conscious of his people's struggles in America. He became a community activist. He believed in the greatness of the black American, and "family comes first" values for his children and grandchildren. My grandfather planted the seeds for me to become who I am in my very early years of life. It was my task to find them and cultivate them.

You see, your life's purpose affects many people through many generations. I am sure many people benefited from my grandfather's efforts. I know his children, grandchildren, and great, great, great-grandchildren have. It is important that you understand the impact of what you do and how it affects people dear to you and those that are dear to you whom you may never meet.

Find Life's Purpose through Right State of Mind

Let's take a deep breath. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth several times. Each time you do it, you are attempting to bring yourself to a calm and relaxing state. After several attempts, synchronize your thoughts with your breathing and think about what you would like to be your life's purpose. Look deep inside your soul and feel the pulsation of your heart. Flow with the blood that circulates through your body in order for you to feel, touch, etc. This may not happen immediately, but do not give up. If necessary, stop and start at another time. You will eventually find your soul. So, have you decided what your purpose is?

If not, it's okay. Sometimes our purpose in life is revealed through external occurrences. But you will have to internalize these external events to accept the message. I am quite sure you have heard the expression, "Things happen for a reason." If you still find yourself struggling for an answer, then think about a traumatic experience that occurred to you or someone dear to you. For example, do you have a friend or family member who died by gunshots, a drug overdose, a fatal illness, or traumatic abuse? Look around your neighborhood or within your family. Can you say to yourself that you are satisfied with everything you see? If not, do you want the conditions to stay the same? If not, what would you like to do about them? Your life's purpose may be your answer.

One of the gifts my grandfather gave me was the appreciation and reverence for those black men and women who were the true pioneers for African American progress in America. One to name is Harriet Tubman. Our educational system has failed to provide us with responsible study of the life and times of our African American ancestors. As a result, many African Americans struggle with self-esteem, cultural awareness, family commitment, and their purpose in life. There's a saying: "If you know where you came from, you will know where you are going."

Harriet Tubman was a person with a purpose. She was a true heroine. Harriet Tubman's traumatic...