Spice Up

Short Bedtime Stories Easy Reading Volume 2By Rachel A. Frias

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Rachel A. Frias
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4567-4630-8

Contents

Ah, It Will Go Away!...............................1Ambrosio's Shirt...................................10Bad Bionic Human...................................15Rio................................................24Bengali Choli......................................33Chil Jang..........................................39Eating Out.........................................46Entering For a Visit...............................57Given Away to AA...................................67Gli Bambini........................................73Hiding Places a Scientist Uses.....................81Noah's Cell........................................89Quotes.............................................96The Hairdresser....................................102The Jews...........................................110Abbey's New Kitchen................................116The Spanish Squeeze................................123Three in One.......................................133Trying to Leave....................................144Uneven Ledgers.....................................149Unisexual Death....................................156

Chapter One

Ah, It Will Go Away!

Rising from his bed, the tube fell out of one of his nostrils. The other tube stayed in.

Just recently, Herman, now in his late forties, pear-shaped, and a depressive yet prescribed optimist, had been through a treatment to prevent him from abandoning his body when sleeping. Once to five times during the night, Herman's absented soul would wake up to the jerk caused within the body in its effort to keep breathing. Herman would have a very difficult time going to sleep again after an interruption. He had been a guinea pig for the Spanish scientist who'd developed the forced air pump with which he now slept. Air was pumped rhythmically through the tubes connected to his nostrils, and when his natural physical body's breathing would stop, the machine would save his sleeping body. His uninterrupted dream stage would become beneficial to his always unsteady and stressful "just lying down at night." Never in the past had Herman referred to his night sleep as sleep, just "shut eye."

As Herman left his bed, his adult diaper, which had prevented his bed from becoming soaked, became a heavy bother. In addition to his sleep disorder, Herman was a victim of incontinence. The condition had started in his early forties. Now, he had to physically be aware of his necessities, not being able to "feel" the urge, per se. In consequence, during the day, he would force himself to a bathroom schedule, stopping his activities regularly, to avoid accidents from happening.

Herman's morning started by unhooking from the sleep machine and attending to his physical diaper wrap, followed by some pill taking for his mood disorder. As soon as he was done showering, Herman would walk into the kitchen to not be surprised by what was missing in the fridge. Herman was regrettably personally familiar with another sleep disorder besides the cessation-of-breathing problem; it was a sleepwalking problem derived from the newest sleep deprivation solution medication available on the market. Luckily, even in his sleepwalk Herman would shut the refrigerator door and, when climbing back into bed, hook himself back up to his new, modern forced-air breathing machine.

Today when walking into the kitchen, he found out he had eaten hot dogs galore. Of course, he had drunk beer, instead of water, to accompany his debauchery. The empty bottles remained on the table.

Now, surprised, his eyebrows went up because he saw he had used catsup. Catsup? He thought. I don't like catsup on my hot dogs; I just keep it for certain recipes, such as hobo beans.

After cleaning his nightly mess, Herman was prepared for breakfast. There were certain products he could have and certain products he had to avoid. The man could have a bit of milk in his coffee; however, he was supposed to stay away from coffee. As for cereal, he could have a bit of oatmeal prepared with water, but not milk. He could also have pancakes, but without butter or syrup, which were just not that great. He considered the pancake mix and set it aside since carbohydrates decomposed into simple sugars.

Herman had invested in foreign cookbooks with new and innovative breakfasts. Today he decided to try a new Asian world favorite: a Vietnamese breakfast made with coconut milk. Having had this tasty breakfast more than five times recently and five additional times during sleepwalking, he had gained too much weight due to the coconut milk's high caloric content.

Restricting his eating limitations to what was good for his diet and tasted good, left Herman eating a lot of fish soups with vegetables, and very little carbohydrate. Meat wasn't a big part of his diet because of the cholesterol, even though he had been told that if he avoided chlorinated water and hydrolyzed and homogenized products, his cholesterol levels would be high yet overall harmless. He had actually verified this information reading about it in a book by Kevin Trudeau.

In addition, other influences discouraged his meat eating. Like, deli meats contained too much sodium, and he was unable to drink enough water to compensate for his body's fluid needs. But the biggest factor was the gay couple he'd made acquaintance with at the gym. Remembering the two boys dressed kind of feminine-like at the gym, one in pink spandex and the other with a tight, blue T-shirt and short shorts, he pondered, Who wouldn't do what they say? They are irresistible, sexy, and have friendly personalities. So, no meat or very little!

Constipation became a horrible problem whenever Herman ingested extra white bread or rice and glutens. The recent research he'd read revealed that heat, applied to the lower tummy area and the lower back, relaxed the muscles enough for peristalsis to carry through the small and big intestine. So these days, Herman found he routinely applied a heating pad to these areas to help his bowel movement.

* * *

Herman knew a woman, whom he adored and who understood his physical problems. Still, she very obviously wanted to be sexually satisfied by him; however, Herman had a ... male problem that had surfaced during his recent mid-life crisis. In the last four months, his erectile dysfunction had appeared, and it stayed visible in his mind by his always having a floppy, no matter what.

As he thought of all this that morning, he sneezed, bending over and hurting at his back at a second, stronger sneeze. But on this Monday morning, the sniffles couldn't stop him from venturing out for some exercise. He put on his cap to keep his balding head from getting cold.

About four blocks into his walk down the avenue, Herman's ankle began hurting. Usually I can walk ten blocks; this is unusual. It really hurts, he thought, but he dismissed the pain.

The Queens borough street was busy with delivery traffic. Some of his favorite deliveries involved, the colorful flowers in white buckets set to adorn the outside of the fruit shop at the corner of his building. While he walked along the crowded avenue, exaggerating the swinging motion of his arms to facilitate circulation, the ankle pain increased, crawling and wrapping around his right calf. Good God! I can't seem to finish my walk today, he thought as the exhaust from a passing automobile made...