Soul'D Out

By Brenda L. Boyd

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Brenda L. Boyd
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-3356-9

Contents

Acknowledgments..............................viiIntroduction.................................ix1. Obstacles.................................12. Status Quo................................93. The Photograph............................174. Scarred Tissue............................255. On The Flip Side..........................356. Possible Side Effects.....................437. From The Pew..............................518. Obstacle Course...........................599. Negative vs. Positive.....................6710. The Debt.................................7511. Whosoever Will...........................8312. Different On Purpose.....................9313. Before I Go..............................101

Chapter One

Obstacles

"We have to talk! I've been doing some thinking. There's no easy way to say this, so I will just come out and say it. I'm leaving! I've had enough, and I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving, and I'm taking the kids with me! There's nothing you can do or say that will change my mind. I'm just not happy anymore. It's for the best you'll see."

"Yes sir! They said you wanted to see me."

"Take a seat. You know that over the past year things have been a lot slower than years past. Word came from the top this morning that we must downsize. I'm sorry but your last day is the end of this month."

"But, but my wife-she's pregnant-and what about our new house?"

"I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do; it's beyond my control, but don't worry, it'll all work out. You'll see."

"Hi doc, you said you have something to show me!"

"Yes, your tests have come back, and they don't look good. There are several spots on your lungs. All tests indicate that you have cancer."

"How much time, Doc?"

"I give you maybe two months. I would suggest that you get all your affairs in order. I know this comes as a shock to you, but there's absolutely nothing else we can do. We will make you as comfortable as we can; you'll see."

"Who could be calling at this hour?"

"Ma'am, this is the highway patrol. Your son has been in an accident. We are on-"

"Is he all right? My son, is he all right?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, we did all we could do. Could someone please come? We have your son's personal items, and we want to make sure you get them. I'm real sorry about this, ma'am. It will take time but eventually you'll be okay; you'll see."

"I hate you. I hate you both. You're the meanest parents a kid could ever have. All I want to do is go and spend some time with my friends, but no. You think you know them, but you really don't. I swear I can't wait to turn eighteen so I can move out. I'll show you, I will never come back. You'll see!"

"Obstacle," defined by Webster, is a barrier, hindrance, interruption, or obstruction. It disrupts your normal life, becoming an object of distraction, causing you to doubt yourself, interfering with your family, and at times leading you to believe that you are slowly losing ground on this walk called life. Often times you feel you are losing touch with reality. Sad to say, you may believe you are alone. But hold on my friend; you are not alone. You are not the only one who ever faced an obstacle so large that running away seemed to be the only way.

About three years ago a group of youth chaperones and I went on a mission trip; our goal was to minister to the homeless. We spent endless weeks of studying, preparing, and praying for God's will for this trip. But nothing really could have prepared us for what we were about to see. We arrived at the shelter, were briefed, and asked what we had expected to learn from this trip. I personally had one goal in mind-to meet the woman God had laid on my heart. He told me there would be a prostitute that would come, and my only goal was to tell her that He loved her. I should not leave her until she understood that He didn't care what she did yesterday, today, or tomorrow. He loved her unconditionally. He said, "If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there." (Ps. 139:8 NIV)

The days that followed were busy: supplying cloths to those in need, ministering to the children of those to whom God had called His own. Later that evening a major turning point happened for all of us. We visited a beautiful park in the area, getting there before dark and leaving as the sun went down to avoid the dangers that lay ahead. Loading back into the buses, we toured the inner city streets that many of the homeless called home. It was there that all the thoughts that had ever crossed my mind about people being homeless by their own choices or their own doing slowly vanished. Obstacles had put some of them where they were. Our guide told us a story that forever changed my attitude toward those whose obstacle diminished their desire to live because their burden was more than they could bear. My friend, God sent His son for you and me to live our lives to their fullest: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." (John 10:10 NIV)

Everyone wants to be on top, but what happens when all of a sudden you fall off the top and reach rock bottom? What happens when you have everything and without warning it's gone? My perception of homelessness changed when our guide shared the following story with us. A doctor climbing the ladder of success had it all: a recent promotion, a beautiful wife, three kids, everything one man could ask for. Until tragedy hit and his life was forever changed. The doctor decided to go out and celebrate his recent promotion, but he neglected to call his wife and inform her of this decision. Hours later, his wife began to worry about his whereabouts. Unable to reach him, the doctor's wife loaded their three children in the car and began the journey to her husband's place of employment to see if perhaps his car had broken down. While she searched for her missing husband, her car was broad-sided by a drunk driver, killing the precious cargo inside-the three children and her.

This obstacle was too great for one man to handle, no matter how successful he might have been. The doctor lost everything-giving up his house, his promotion, his dignity-because he could not live his life with the thought of his family's deaths forever haunting him. On his arm, he wore a delicate picture of a vine cascading upward. The vine contained four roses, one for each of those he lost that unforgettable day. Unfortunately, when this once successful doctor looked at this beautiful piece of art, all he saw was a vine with four skulls on it. Death stole his reason for living, for going on. He began looking for the answers to his obstacle at the bottom of a bottle, all the while keeping the nights air off of him by covering himself with a box. He lost all desire to ever pick up the pieces and start again. How about you, my friend? Where are you looking for the answers to the obstacle that's found its way into your life?

I found the prostitute that God had laid on my heart months earlier. In confidence she shared with me that she had not bathed in three days. With a tear glistening in the corner of her eye, she told me she had two older children she had not seen in quite some time. Leaning forward, I reached for her, fulfilling that which God had asked me to do. I put my arms around her, and she began to weep uncontrollably as I told her...