Short Kings: Need Love Too (Rejected Children's Books (Funny Books For Adults))

Short Kings Need Love Too... A Vertical Disadvantage That Is, Statistically, Being Compensated For

Listen up. Here's a story so real. Short kings on the dating apps are out here, getting left-swiped, and showing up anyway with the energy of people who have made peace with a specific number on a driver's license and decided that the number does not define them. The short kings of this book are documented with the hip-hop adjacent narration that someone decided was correct for the subject matter and the subject matter agrees. Short kings need love too. The book makes the case. The case is both emotional and statistical, and the statistics are in the book.

This adult parody book celebrates a specific demographic that has been underrepresented in positive illustrated content and overrepresented in dating app filter settings. The short king is real. The short king's challenges are real. The short king's compensating qualities... which the book documents with enthusiasm and cartoon art... are also real. This is an advocacy book. This is comedy. These two things are compatible. The book proves it across twenty pages of illustrated content that is both for and about short kings.

This Book IS For:

• Short kings who need to see themselves celebrated in illustrated form rather than in the filter they didn't pass
• Anyone who dates short kings and wants to give them a book that says: I see you and also I find this funny and also these are compatible
• Fans of parody that takes a real cultural phenomenon and turns it into advocacy via comedy
• Gift-givers who want to hand a short king something that will either make him laugh or become his personality for a week

This Book Is NOT For:

• Tall people who take this personally, which would be the most disproportionate response in a book about proportions
• Dating app enthusiasts who believe the height filter is a legitimate and defensible preference that deserves no examination
• Short kings who have not yet arrived at the self-confident stage of their short king journey and need a few more months
• Anyone who thinks the short king phrase is already tired, which is incorrect, which the book confirms

Appropriate For:

• Gag gifts for the short king in your life who has made his height into a personality and needs the physical artifact
• Valentine's Day gifts for the short king you are dating or the short king who is pining for you
• White elephant exchanges where someone in the group is going to recognize the subject matter immediately
• Bachelorette parties where at least one ex being discussed had certain qualities and certain limitations

Why Buy This

The short king has been chronically underserved by the gift market. Most gifts for men assume a certain altitude. This book does not. This book meets the short king where he stands, which is exactly where he has always stood, and it celebrates that position with illustrated enthusiasm and the kind of comedic advocacy that says: you are seen, your challenges are acknowledged, and also this is funny and those two things can exist together without either one canceling the other.

Short kings need love too. The book makes this case over twenty pages and makes it well. Buy it for the short king in your life. Buy it for someone who dates short kings. Buy it for someone who used a height filter and wants to examine that decision with some distance. The short king energy is real. The love is warranted. The book is illustrated proof. Stand tall. Relatively.