SHORE LINES

AuthorHouse

Contents

Acknowledgements...............................................................xiIntroduction...................................................................1Even Keel—Staying Balanced...............................................5Benchmarks—Fixed Points of Reference.....................................11Pearls of Wisdom—Confronting Limitations.................................15The Horizon—Points of View...............................................19Crests and Troughs—Living With Change....................................23Swash and Rill Marks—Patterns of Behavior................................27Sandbars and Sand Dunes—Regret and Resentment............................31Tame and Turbulent—Strengths and Weaknesses..............................35Sharks—Image or Reality..................................................39Tides In, Tides Out—Holding On and Letting Go............................43Greenheads In Season, No Refunds—Reshaping Adversity.....................49Barnacles and Other Grabbers—Getting Unstuck.............................53Gritty Gull—Adapting to Challenges.......................................57Crab Shedding—Being Vulnerable...........................................61Ocean's Edge—Transition Difficulties.....................................65Cormorant Diving—Time To Act.............................................69Fog Lifting—Seeing Clearly...............................................73Rented Boat, Borrowed Map—Limits of Theory...............................77Undertow, Under Toad—Real and Imagined Fears.............................81Seaside Sunrise—Grateful Beginnings......................................87Grains of Sand—Gift of the Ordinary......................................91Building Sandcastles—Playful Exuberance..................................95Whale Logging—Peaceful Presence..........................................99Rock Solid—A Loving Core.................................................103Seashells—Symbols from the Sea...........................................107For Spacious Skies—Awakening to Beauty...................................111To The Sea Again—Spiritual Gratitude.....................................115

Chapter One

I find immense pleasure in the gurgle and splash of a boat propelled by a direct force of nature, the snapping of canvas and the humming of rigging in a fresh breeze, the rattle of ropes running through blocks, the crying of gulls, the lift and heave of a buoyant hull, the pressure of wind against my body, the sting of flying spray, the sight of billowing sails and the swirling foam of the wake. -Robert Manry

I was eager to go sailing. The sun was bright, framed by a few fair-weather clouds. My friend David, who had been a drug counselor and a corporate human resource development officer, had invited me for a day sail. He was not one to get up at the break of dawn, so I was able to enjoy a good weekend sleep-in. At midmorning, I met David at the dock of the Ipswich Yacht Club, where he had already begun preparing the boat for departure. Not being a sailor, I am always surprised at how much preparation is necessary to get underway. Sails need to be put up, lines and rudder checked, food stored, gasoline and motor connections completed, and life jackets and seat cushions put in place.

As the novice deckhand, I merely followed David's instructions to pull this and tighten that. I have found that skippers of sailboats enjoy these rituals and show none of the restlessness I feel. I wanted to get going, but I've learned that the sailing experience is not just on the open water, but also in the detailed preliminaries and relaxing postludes. When everything was ready to David's satisfaction, I cast off, and we leisurely powered out from the inner waters. As we approached the more expansive Ipswich Bay by Crane Beach, we prepared to hoist the sail. David was in charge, the sail was quickly up, and with his direction, we began to cruise comfortably in the bay.

When our course seemed set, and the sails trimmed, I asked David how his stress management seminars were going and, somewhat parenthetically, what was included in the course. He laughed, as anyone might with such a give-me-your-life-story-in-twenty-five-words question. To start, he asked me the meaning of the word stress. I told him that the word brings to my mind nervousness, tension, and ulcers. David nodded and confirmed that's the way most people think of stress, but if I wanted to understand its effects better, I needed to recognize some distinctions. He described how stressors, which can range from loud music to an abrasive boss, are the causes of stress; they are the external conditions. The stress itself is within us and is based on our inner reaction to these outer forces. As David got more into his description, he clasped his two hands together and pulled them equally, saying "We need tension, but if one hand pulls too hard, yanking the other, stretching the shoulder muscle, we have distress."

The wind suddenly increased, and in mid-sentence David jumped up to adjust the sail. Never one to let a topic go, he suddenly changed his expression and became more animated and said "I know a good way to explain what I have been talking about. The wind acting on the boat is a stressor. We need it to fill our sails. If we have no wind, we can't go anywhere, and to a sailor, being becalmed is about the worst thing that can happen. We can also experience excessive or unexpected wind, which can become distress if we don't react quickly. Sometimes sailing difficulties are caused by inadequate skills; at other times such unknowns as heavy winds or sudden gusts can cause trouble for the best sailor."

David interrupted his remarks when he noticed our sail begin to flutter. He made some adjustments, and we were back to our conversation. The longer David talked, the more he seemed to like his analogy. He proposed that there is a strong relationship between the physical and emotional elements of stress, much like the connection between the skipper and his or her boat. Our bodies and emotions respond to the outside stressors in the same way the skipper and boat respond to the wind and water. The skipper reacts to situations based on his or her skills and the destination in conjunction with the capacity and handling qualities of the boat.

By now we had reached the northern tip of Cape Ann and needed to decide whether we wanted to go around Halibut Point to Rockport, perhaps sailing on to Gloucester Harbor, or to remain cruising in Ipswich Bay. David was in good spirits and thought the longer trip would be more enjoyable. We altered our direction, he checked his charts, and we began our journey toward Gloucester with the hope of a late lunch at one of their dockside restaurants. After settling on our new course, David continued to talk about stress. I agreed with him that we are likely to be under the most severe strain when we face the unknown. Most people like and need predictability and control, and the feeling of lack of control is one of the most significant factors in causing stress.

I told David that our...