For parents, understanding The Sense Connection enhances the skills needed to raise happy, well-adjusted children who will become successful, emotionally-balanced adults. For spouses or lovers, gaining insight into the ways in which primary sense channels compliment and conflict with each other can shift the balance from discord to harmony. And for friends and co-workers, a firmer grasp of how we as individuals view the world could mean more fulfilling and productive relationships and careers. Can understanding others be as simple as identifying their primary sense channels and adjusting accordingly? Naturally, the sense mode does not define the entire personality. But it can offer you some useful short-cuts to understanding. Consider the many ways we put ourselves and others into neat, tidy, limiting pigeonholes. We've heard so many of these expressions: "What do you do?", "Where are you from?", "What's your sign?" These categorizations are merely stereotypes, whether professional, regional, ethnic, astrological, or even the result of The Myers-Briggs examination. Worse than that, they're dead ends. "He's an only child." "She's a Pisces." These stereotypes do not allow room for adaptation, for coming together and making a connection. By adding The Sense Connection to our lexicon, we can find a way to understand others quickly and accurately and then modify our interactive style to fit better with theirs, whatever their profession, cultural background, or birth sign.
The Sense Connection
Discovering How Your Five Senses Determine Your Effectiveness as a Person, Partner, and ParentBy Natalie Robinson GarfieldiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2009 Natalie Robinson Garfield
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4401-6559-7Contents
Acknowledgments..............................................xiOverview.....................................................xiiiCommon Senses:...............................................1Sense Mode Profile Test......................................2Sense Connections Briefly Defined: KATOV.....................5The "Click" of a Couple......................................22Sexual Incompatibility.......................................33Psychotherapy................................................38Friendships..................................................43Duo-Dyads....................................................53How Quickly They Grow........................................75Sibling Favoritism...........................................83Tuning in to a Preteen.......................................87Preparing for the Future.....................................93Interview Intuition..........................................99Office Frantics..............................................110Classroom and Consequence....................................118Attorney Attunement..........................................128Modal Meditation.............................................135Maturing Modes...............................................146Sense Secrets................................................151Final Thoughts...............................................159Bibliography.................................................161
Chapter One
Defining the Sense Connection
Common Senses:
The Sense Channel Theory
This book is about the crucial impact of sense channels on our lives. To identify your primary sense channel, as well as least dominant ones, you may wish to complete "The Sense Connection Questionaire." When you complete the questionnaire, your scores will show which senses seem to dominate your perceptions: kinesthetic (how you move), auditory (what you hear), tactile (what you feel), olfactory (what you smell and taste), and visual (what you see). As we proceed, exploring the development of your primary sense channels and how they affect the way you interact, make your living, make love, raise your children, and perceive yourself and the world, keep your initial sense identity in mind.
Sense Mode Profile Test
You may be kinesthetic if ... You crave physical exercise. You are always on the go. You have a sense of life being something you move through. Your career is a climb to the top. Your relationships have to do with pulling away from someone or drawing closer. You can read a map and take the initiative in finding a new route. You can follow football or basketball from diagrams. You may be auditory if ... You are bothered by poor acoustics. You can hear a melody and reproduce it vocally or instrumentally. You often hear music in your head. You are impressed with someone's speaking voice. You find certain phrases, turns of speech, or authors' styles thrilling and memorable. You have a reputation for being a good listener. You may be tactile if ... You have strong fabric preferences or sensitivities. The seam of your sock being out of line is irritating. It feels particularly good to return to your home or to remain there. Animals are deeply important to you. Long-haired dogs are more appealing than short-haired ones. You feel cozy in a book-lined study. Fresh linen on your bed is particularly inviting. You may be olfactory if ... A wonderful birthday gift is your favorite cologne. It often seems to you that the sauce needs more seasoning. It is important that you eat in your favorite restaurants often. Your nose can tell that the season is about to change. You know there is road work being done around the corner by the tar odor. You find it difficult to kiss someone who has recently eaten garlic. You don't see the point of flowers that lack perfume. You want to join the coffee-of-the-month club, which sends a different coffee each month. You can actually feel satisfied reading Gourmet magazine, You may be visual if ... When someone speaks to you from behind, you feel the need to turn around to take in everything that the person is saying. Ribbon for gift wrapping with one gold side and the other in silver gives you a rush. You feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror in the morning and like your outfit. Shades, tints, hues, and color combinations capture your interest. You can match colors accurately. It's no problem to buy socks to go with a sweater that is at home in a drawer. You get excited about the displays and decorations at holiday time.
Sense Connections Briefly Defined: KATOV
Kinesthetic Auditory Tactile Olfactory/taste Visual
John Locke noted that everything we know about the world is through what we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. I would add the kinesthetic sense of spatial perception to that list of inputs.
Kinesthetic individuals understand, experience, absorb, and take in the world through movement and exploration in space. They may find themselves at odds with current societal expectations. As an example ... fear may inhibit a child's drive to explore the world through movement, thereby changing a natural kinesthetic person. Since our education system requires that the student sit quietly and listen; many kinesthetic children are not able to maximize their potential.
Let's take a look at Jim Henson's in It's Not Easy Being Green, a book that will most definitely appeal to a kinesthetic child. Ernie has trouble falling asleep; so he uses many movement activities and ...
I hoof around my beddie just a-tappin' my toes Before I know what's happened I'm a-ready to doze. Yes, he dances himself to sleep!
The kinesthetic person needs to move in order to take in their experience! Just as visual people need to look and auditory people need to hear. In the words of Norman Cousins, "Laughter is inner jogging."
Auditory individuals experience the world primarily through sound and are powerfully affected by what they hear.
People who take in the world primarily through their ears are usually very sensitive to noise and unpleasant sounds. This orientation may begin long before birth, although we don't know a great deal about this as yet. The fetus is connected to the mother through the umbilical cord, which is a constant source of sound. There is some evidence that the fetus can hear in utero; a child is born with the ability to hear.
Daniel J. Levitin's This Is Your Brain on Music is a comprehensive discussion of the auditory mode. Composers such as Scriabin and Ravel talk about their works as sound paintings-notes and melodies are the equivalent of shapes and forms, and timbre of...