BE THE SECOND COMING

Balboa Press

Contents

Preface............................................................................31. Hope's Journey..................................................................72. Shadrach........................................................................153. The Meditations.................................................................214. Explaining the Unexplainable....................................................295. What Is Christ Consciousness?...................................................416. Date with Unity.................................................................497. The Power to Manifest...........................................................618. Why Christ Consciousness?.......................................................739. Surrender.......................................................................8110. How to Communicate with Your Inner Christ......................................8911. The Earth in Christ Consciousness..............................................9912. The Cleanup Detail: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual.....................10913. Transformation to Christ Consciousness.........................................127Appendix A: Exercises to Loosen Your Perspective...................................137About the Author...................................................................141Bibliography.......................................................................143Endnotes...........................................................................147

Chapter One

April 21, 2008, I was naked and lying face down on a massage table when Mary, my friend, a spiritual healer and massage therapist, whispered softly in my ear, "You made a commitment before you even came to earth. You committed to embodying the Christ consciousness, and the time for it to come into fruition is in the next five years." A flash of recognition came to me. Oh, of course! I thought as I breathed a sigh of relief. You know that sensation when something that you feel but haven't been able to find words for is finally spoken? An underlying tension that I had held forever dropped; I didn't even realize I was holding that tension until I let it go. It was replaced by a feeling of peace. I got up from the massage table and dressed as usual, but something had shifted. Truth was present almost like another person had entered the room.

I had been wondering where my spiritual journey would lead. Having read over a hundred spiritual books, I was searching for something and never would have dared to call it "Christ consciousness," which sounded religious and out of reach. Mary had been offering me guidance whenever she came to town, and many really transformative and wonderful things had resulted. So, I trusted her clarity and her source. I took her words seriously and committed myself to fulfilling that pre-birth pledge and discovering for myself just what it meant! Not surprisingly, my ego, that part of me that loves to separate itself from others by being special, liked the lofty goal. So, like bringing an unruly friend on a delicate mission, we set off on this quest with a destination that only the truest parts of me would complete.

* * *

The words "Christ consciousness" were like a beacon of light guiding me ahead during a confusing period of my life. They offered a hopeful vision and destination, because a year earlier my decade-long, almost insatiable thirst for spiritual understanding and wisdom had precipitated a move to the country. I moved alone, without my husband and youngest son, which seemed selfish and foolhardy to some of my friends and family. Others admired my courage and willingness to take a spirit-guided leap into the unknown.

I had been caught in a painful dance between leaving and staying, I was unhappy staying and scared to leave. I felt like I had one foot on the dock and one in the boat, and the boat was drifting away from the dock—I didn't know what to do. The marriage was not serving my husband or me, and I was unable (or unwilling) to find another solution. As I drove over a rise one day and saw the cliffs on the Shawangunk Ridge ahead of me, my guides said to me, "There's home." But I didn't get it. The second time they said it, a few weeks later, I was able to hear and feel it. I decided to find a house and move, as that second call ended up being the pull I needed to move out of my indecision and inertia. I was moving away from my married life and the dream and security that it once held, but what was most excruciating was that I was leaving my youngest son, as well.

It had become more and more difficult to fit myself inside the definition of "wife." Although I still loved my husband and didn't want to hurt him or our three children (two of whom were off at college), a part of myself was dying. It became clear that the only way I knew to save myself was to dissolve the marriage—or, perhaps more accurately, complete it. In addition, I didn't like who I had become when I was with my husband, entrenched emotional patterns held me captive and I didn't know of any other way to move out of them. Reluctantly, I moved beyond the marriage, but toward what, I had no idea.

Shortly thereafter, a new man came into my life, orchestrated deftly by the guides, (and amazingly supported by my husband.) He brought an opportunity for healing on many levels and yet created even greater irreconcilable extremes in my life.

And so I found myself living in the country in a house near the end of the cliffs, while my youngest child stayed with his dad one and a half hours away. This allowed my son to remain at the school he loved and in a familiar neighborhood where he had friends. It was extremely difficult; I wanted to be there for him as I always had been, but I knew that modeling for him being true to my spiritual self was also a gift in some ways. The theme of separation, the need to reconcile two irreconcilable realities, was everywhere in my life. My old life was broken in pieces, and the vision for my new life was hazy and didn't fit into any molds I was familiar with. Isolation and humility are perfect incubators for transformation. My retreat to the literal and proverbial "wilderness" left me feeling like I was in free fall with no floor or walls to define my world. It was terrifying and freeing at the same time, and it forced me to live in the moment; to look forward toward the future or back at the past were too painful. I kept a Louis L'Amour quote on a card by my kitchen sink, and it gave me a hopeful shift in perspective many times. It said, "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."

Difficult times can offer great gifts on a spiritual level. I shed many layers of conditioning with regard to my expectations, obligations, and assumptions about what was most important. Seeing life through society's eyes simply didn't work anymore. Society's values alone didn't take into account my spiritual longing and whatever it was that was calling me. Being on a spiritual rather than a religious path, there was no obvious way to accommodate that calling. For months and years after my move, I tried to figure out how to put my life back together, to make the people I loved happy...