Rules for Gentlewomen: A Code of Chivalry Drawn from the Rule of St. Benedict

If the world is torn by divisions, if the peoples are through into the confusion of mutual hostility, how is the world to be healed, how are the peoples to be reconciled, if not through such a new nobility of life?

The noble and honorable life to which you are being called as a gentlewoman is a battle. And this battle consists first and foremost in ruling over yourself, and then in bringing the peace of harmony with God into the world around you. As a gentlewoman, you are called to uphold justice and to resist injustice, to serve that which is holy in the world, without reservation and without salary, to care for the weak, the persecuted, and the wronged, to take care of creation as it groans, and of the bruised reed, because it is God’s will that it not be broken.

I’ve been able over the years to delve into chivalric literature and the evolution of nobility, and what I’ve uncovered from the tomes of history I share now with you, men and women of all ages, in this simple guide — a chivalric code drawn from the ancient text that over the centuries gave birth to the ideal of a Christian chivalry.

I’ve been guided since I was a young child by the principles laid out in the Rule of St. Benedict, and recently completed a new translation of the ancient work. It also happens, that historically the code of chivalry for the knights of the middle ages was drawn from and explicitly modeled on the way of life of the benedictine monks, and later by the mendicant friars. In what follows, the text of the Introduction, the Conclusion, and the “Tools for Doing Good” are taken directly from the 1,500 year old text, the Rule of St. Benedict. The rules themselves, as well as the “Way of Perfection”, are principles drawn from or summaries of the more salient points enumerated by St. Benedict that serve as a firm foundation for a chivalric code to which a man or woman of our day can pledge themselves to uphold.

You see, to be a gentleman or gentlewoman is not about merely following some set of rules or book of etiquette. It is about pledging yourself to a code of honor, and striving to conform all aspects of your life to it. Chivalry, the way of the Christian knight, both in its various historical manifestations, and in its eternal spirit, exists to guide men and women in how to live uprightly in the world — to conquer themselves and achieve self-mastery in service to a higher good. Such a gentleman or gentlewoman is sent into the world to resist injustice and to preserve justice, to to care for the weak, the persecuted, and the wronged, to take care of creation as it groans, and of the bruised reed, because it is God’s will that it not be broken. Such a chivalry means a responsibility, a responsibility he or she can only carry out by serving that which is holy in the world, the hidden Grail and the order that radiates out from it.

“There must always be men [and women] who serve that which is holy in this world without reservation and without salary, caring for the weak, the persecuted and the insulted, renewing the authority of law and fighting against injustice. The knight exists for the sake of everyone; that is his [or her] proper position in the world.”
— Hans Urs Von Balthasar

Thus, inspired by the need for a renewal of this kind of knighthood in our own day, and the desire to see my children become true gentlemen and gentlewomen, I compiled this new code of chivalry drawn from Saint Benedict’s Rule for Beginners — the very code itself that has guided and directed the lives of countless men and women to become true gentlemen and gentlewomen for over 1,500 years, and continues to breathe new life into the world today.