Journey to Awareness: Reality Check

I rode my bike northward to the coastal cliffs of Huntington Beach, California,where surf crashed in irregular beats, after a particularly stressful day inJune of 1983. Life at home was increasingly difficult as I grew into newunderstandings. I attempted to discuss them with my husband, paul, who resisted.Looking out over the waves for solace, I thought how hard I'd been on myselfsetting unreasonable expectations that, more often than not, thwarted myprogress and caused me to fall back and reorganize.

positioning myself on a rocky boulder, I propped my feet on another for balance.A mild breeze wafted over my body to soothe my aching heart and cool theafternoon sun. Sailboats graced the horizon in leisurely pace, bobbing white ongentler waters, while clouds drifted by as if on cue. A hundred feet below,children squealed as ocean waves and wet foam caught them off guard. Approachingtides enveloped picnic sites only recently abandoned. Dogs barked, anticipatingthe retrieval of tossed driftwood from the dancing surf.

What is it about bodies of water that invite romance, yet clarify dreams?perhaps our transient moment with the hypnogogic temptress is in rhythm with theflow of possibilities. Perhaps the opportunity to view a huge expanse withoutany blocks unleashes freedom to create anew. My thoughts pierced the oceandepths looking for answers and inspiration as had so many others before me.

Paul and I swung together on punctuated moments of joint interest, only to splitoff again as we swung back, out of phase. Shouting solved nothing, and thedreaded inevitable silence that pockmarked our marriage plagued attempts atreconciliation. Nagging uncertainties tolled the bells of change.

But there were contributing factors to our out-of-sync relationship. I knew thatmy earlier ulcerated duodenum was indicative of an inability to stomach mymisery and discontent. Unexpressed emotions ate away at me, though, at the time,I had no awareness of possible cause. Any romance Paul and I had left was groundto dust by frustration and blown into oblivion through misunderstanding. Theyouthful ideal of finding fulfillment in marriage was now all but dead.

Making the decision to separate after a lengthy marriage was not an easy one,but the consequences of staying in a relationship that wasn't working made itimperative. Our children were treasures of happier moments, and we purposelyavoided dragging them into the fray. Finding resolution to our relationshipdilemma met with fear-based excuses. Confronting the issue head-on would takemore courage than I'd been able to muster so far.

I thought about my parents, who had their own relationship issues, aboutmother's multiple surgeries being the result of her unhappiness. As my healthproblems were also triggered by emotions, it made me realize that if I didn't dosomething soon to change my life for the better, I could easily duplicate herconditions. I recognized that I had given away control of my life—to my husband,the medical establishment, and self-defeating thoughts as my mother had done.

The pain of a lengthy divorce left both Paul and me devastated, and the childrentorn in allegiance. Now, I had only to trust "self" and my intuition to tell mewhen I was on the right path. I closed my jewelry business and moved toWashington State to begin life as a single woman.

As I had stared at the ocean that summer day, looking for answers to life'sdifficult questions, I never realized the journey would increase myunderstanding of how my body and reality really worked. Nor could I havepredicted the direction or extent of my personal growth.

Like rhythmic waves of an active ocean, life carried me into another world muchdifferent than I'd known. I rode the wave of each experience, as would a bobbingcork on the sea of change, adapting as I went to the ebb and flow of life'sevents. I tangled with choice, met death head on, and achieved a healthier, morefulfilling life. Everything I did made a difference.

And everything you do makes a difference. As with the cells in your body, allyou need to grow is more information. With more information, you make betterchoices, ones that focus on enriching your life with health and happiness, andtake you off the radar screens of medical professionals. The journey's worthbeginning.

Genetics Aren't All You Are: Mistaken Assumptions

Yes, you can make a difference. An out-of-ease system is ripe for disease. Drugcompanies aren't dummies. They're convinced you need them, and, because youbought the bait hook, line, and sinker, you've come to depend on their productsas a cure-all.

Sadly, you live and work in a disease-oriented medical system, not one that'shealth oriented. I'm convinced that most of the time you know what's wrong withyour body, even before you go to a doctor.

I remember being asked by the doctor, "What's wrong with you?" or "What's yourproblem?" I had an inkling, an inner knowing, and told the doctor so. When Ithought about being sick, manifestations began to appear. Boy, did I learn thehard way. You don't have to do that when you know the secret to healing iswithin you.

Just think about all those 50-70 trillion cells in your body going berserkbecause you can't deal with some uncomfortable situation in your life. You'rehanging onto a belief that doesn't serve your best interests; or you've gottencaught up in some advertisement that says, "It's the cold or flu season," or"The incidence of cancer is rising. These are the symptoms...."

As you examine yourself for the slightest mal-alignment, thoughts that you mightget the disease or have it...