FOCUS ON YOURSELF

In case no one ever told you, allow me to tell you that youare the most important person in your life. You can be as selfishor as generous as you like. By now, you have made that decisionas to what kind of person you are going to be. You have beenworking on the person inside of you since as far back as secondgrade, maybe even first grade or kindergarten. You will be whoyou are, maybe for the rest of your life, unless God sees fit tostir you in another direction. Meaning, if you made a decisionto not be a giving person, God could step in and keep someonefrom giving you something that you really need to save your life;such as a kidney or heart. Maybe God will step in and do just theopposite and allow someone to donate a vital organ to change yourperspective about being a giving person if someone saves yourlife. Here is another scenario. Let's just suppose that you made adecision to do criminal acts, and you are out there with your friendsknocking over mailboxes or robbing stores or breaking in cars justfor the fun of it. God may provide a reason to stop you byallowing you to get caught or injured during one of your episodes.

At any rate, we are not going to decide to become a criminal. Ibelieve students turn to criminal acts just to see how smart they canbe, but believe me, you are not going to out-smart technology.If you look at CSI, Crime Scene Investigation or Forensic Files,then those stories tell how investigators caught the criminal andshould let you know that the common thinking brain is going toget caught. I decided as a first grader when I was sent to the officefor the first time that I would not get in trouble at school oranywhere else. The grass at school had not been cut in a while,so the grass was growing what we call onions tops. My friendsand I developed a way to shoot those onion tops at each other.

Our teacher, Mrs. Gold, sent six of her students to the office. Our6'5" principal stood hovering over us, and I was scared out ofmy mind because I heard my mother tell Mr. Pendergrass what todo to my brother, "Don't call me; you spank his behind when hecuts up at school, and I will spank his behind when he cuts up athome." Well, I knew he knew we were sister and brother, and themessage would be the same or worse for me if he called my house.When he took out his strap, I started crying so loud that he justthreatened to use it, scolded us and sent us back to class. Fromthen on my motto was "I am not doing anything that I think myparents would cut my behind about or that would land me introuble with the authorities." I STILL LIVE BY THAT TODAY.

I want you to concentrate on the positives in your life. Remember,"The first law of nature is self-preservation. Cut off that which mayharm you. But if it is worth preserving, and is meaningful, nourish itand have no regrets. Ultimately, this is true living and love of self ...from within" (Hodge, 2009).

Right now, you are a positive force in your life. In most schooldistricts, discipline records are expunged, unless there has beensome criminal issue that everyone who teaches you should knowabout. The mere fact that you are reading this book tells me thatyou do not have a record of violence following you. Entering 9thgrade tells everyone that you must be doing some academic workin school to get this far. I can also conclude that you are involvedin some type of extracurricular activity either at school or inthe community. I strongly believe that you have a great supportsystem of family, friends and it may even extend as wide as churchmembers, peers and organization affiliates. Let your supportersplay out their role in your life, and you do your part. Your familyconsists of your mother, father, sisters, brothers, grandparents,Godparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and whoever else claims you asfamily. Family will encourage you and cheer for you when you dogood things at school, at home or in the community. They want youto be successful, but be careful that other youth might be enviousof your success. Sometimes they might not make good decisions orintentionally stir you in the wrong direction out of spite or jealousy.

Watch what they do and how they behave before you make adecision to listen to other youth, including siblings and cousins.They are probably around your age and may not have experienceda lot to advise you and your peers. Get to know them before takingtheir advice on a serious issue.

Let's go back to making a decision of being selfish or generous.There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Let me explain whatthat means before you go to bobbing your head in agreement. Ibelieve that a person should look great because it makes you feelgreat, but do not turn your nose up at the person who cannot affordto dress like you. I always thought that those persons who lookedgreat being dressed up every day were a little arrogant, self-centered,cantankerous-acting people, and people like me who did nothave very much found other ways to feel great like athletics andacademics. In another book, I will share my story, but for now, let'sconcentrate on you.

Always remember that how you feel about yourself will impactwhat you do with your life, what you allow others to do to youand who you will become as a result. If you believe you can, thenyou can. If you believe you can't, then you can't. You must believethat you are the most important force in your life, and you shoulddecide now which direction you want to travel for the rest ofyour life. Persons who are generous receive Grace from God. Thegenerosity in a person allows them to give of themselves, and theyare willing to love and help a fellowman. Generous persons put thewell-being of others first, and that's not to neglect self, but to giveof yourself. You can offer to help a peer learn a concept in math ora skill in physical education or assist with a science lab assignment.I never had any money, but I sure helped a lot of people at school.My friends couldn't have my homework, but I showed them how todo the assignment. When I was in class, as soon as I learned a newconcept in Algebra, I wanted to help others understand, becausemy 9th grade math teacher was a little over our heads as most mathteachers. I live by the Golden Rule that I learned in Sunday Schooland Vacation Bible School "Do unto others as you would have themdo unto you." Luke 6:31 (Holy Bible)

Another important fact to remember is to learn to dress for theoccasion. Even if you do not have a lot of fashionable clothes,you still need to be appropriately dressed for the occasion athand. School is a place to wear casual clothes, but there are somewho wear party or beach wear to school. If your everyday look isa dressed-up one, when there is a time to dress up, you will notappear to have done anything to give yourself an exclusive look. Ifyour choice of a blouse is low cut, tank, see-through or tie-back likebeach wear, then when you go to the...