The Starting Point

Most people don't have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.

—Carlos Santana

A change in bad habits leads to a change in life.

—Jenny Craig

So you want to quit those nasty habits, do you? Well, you can decide that quitting a bad habit is as hard as you want it to be, or you can choose to make a shift and never look back! All of us have bad habits we want to be rid of; some of these habits could even be classified as addictions. If left unattended, these bad habits move in, take root, and become much like a squatter on your land. Not only is it very hard to get rid of the nasty squatter, but residue and damage are left behind as well.

Our brains have nets—neural-nets that work together to aid our memory and cognitive functioning—they associate our life experiences. Associative memory is how we remember things, both good and bad. We can be triggered by a memory to experience nearly every emotion.

These nets become stronger the more they are used, and they weaken when they are not used as much. If you experience fear every time you pull into your driveway because you have no idea what will happen when you open your door, your brain begins to respond to the fear further and further in advance of arriving home.

Before long, the fear response begins to trigger at the very thought of going home; you don't even have to be going in that direction physically. Over time, this situation becomes a habit, and eventually you become "addicted" to the neurological-related chemistry in your brain. Now you are addicted to fear, the response that started from coming home to an unpredictable environment a few times and is now running your life.

As your tolerance builds, addiction can now take over. Tolerance means that you need more and more of the same chemical to get the same response—or that the same amount of the chemical yields diminished results over time. Have you ever had an extreme reaction to something the first time you used it, but it seemed to have less physical impact as time progressed? That is tolerance. We can build tolerance to the chemicals in our brain, similar to alcohol or another drug coming into our system from the outside.

Increased tolerance over time is one sign of an addiction, no matter the cause or substance. You can quit this addiction; it is possible to restore your sense of calm and well-being and to disengage those triggers and regain your sense of peace.

For others, habits and addictions come from external sources. These addictions can be alcohol and drug related and can also be related to sex, food, relationships, electronics, drama, exercise, and similar causes. A habit, even a good one, if overused or misused somehow can become a mighty force to contend with when you try to stop. Some people don't recognize the slippery slope until it is too late.

Several key steps can help free you from the power of a habit or addiction. The first step is to acknowledge that there is a glitch or problem in your life—something standing in the way of realizing your hopes and dreams. If nothing is acknowledged, then nothing can be assessed. When we acknowledge something, we have the opportunity to evaluate its usefulness or detriment in our life.

Most often, you will see that this habit started as something that helped you in some manner. It may have relieved some emotional burden or pain, or it may have served as a great distraction. Nonetheless, this habit slowly (or not so slowly) began to betray you and turn on you, until you were dealing with the painful and harmful issues caused by your engagement with the habit.

The time has come to acknowledge that this habit has more control in your life than you ever imagined. How did this happen? How did this habit become the master and you the slave, when it started the other way? Are you ready to reclaim your life from the thief that is addiction, no matter what form the addiction takes?

The program you are about to encounter is superb in bringing people to a more fulfilling life experience. These concepts come from a combination of formal education and day-to-day practical experience throughout my many years as an instrument for healing. For clarity of definition in this book, recovery means "the process or state of feeling better." It is the process one must go through (not around) to effectively change his or her life for the better. People typically initiate these necessary changes when the pain in their lives becomes so intolerable that there is nowhere else to turn for relief.

Along the way, many people turn to anything that will alter their mood. Food, sex, alcohol, drugs, gambling, spending, video games, internet and control to the point of self-destruction are all avenues of addiction I have seen in my professional life. Emotional states such as depression, lust, pride, rage, self-pity and fear can also be used to alter mood and thus continuing to create these emotions can become addicting. Some of these I have experienced myself, while attempting to find relief from the exquisite pain that somehow felt bigger than me at the time. The pain that feels bigger than yourself is often non-verbal and may originate in previous generations yet it must be healed and released for you to be free.

In dark times, we often cry out for help. To some people's amazement, the Divine always answers our prayers, our cries for help, even when we aren't sure there will be a response or that we are even connected. This is the great humor and paradox of our beautiful, spiritual lives and this universe.

The request is always answered, yet it almost never comes as we had imagined and usually not from where we think it will come. Many people think prayers aren't being answered, when in fact they are being answered all the time—and not just in the limited ways we think they should. Our biggest and most outlandish ideas are nothing compared to the magnificence and grandeur of the creative force that sustains all that is in this universe and beyond.

When someone makes a decision to change his or her life, certain key avenues can bring about effective transformation when practiced consistently. The program described in this book is my method of choice to bring harmony, inner peace, and balance to...