CHAPTER 1

QUEEN OF FIRE

"Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum ofwhat we have been, but what we yearn to be." Jose Ortega y Gasset

For years I've been encouraged by many without any connections toeach other to tell my story. The time is now right to tell my truth,my perspective, and my experience. I've been labeled an avid learner, awork in progress, and a truth seeker for myself and about myself.

In my 39 years I've experienced great pain through the breakupof my nuclear family, abandonment, divorce and having my heartbroken by the love of my life. I've also experienced even greater joythrough the births of my son and daughter, love and support frommy friends and family, so much laughter, travel, education, writing,dancing and singing, career success, falling in love and passionaterelationships.

I am and always will be a work in progress because as many barriers asI've overcome, as many silver-linings as I've found in situations, and themany, many blessings I've had in my life I admit to having momentswhen I question the experiences. I am slowly learning to surrender, askfor help, and to be vulnerable.

As part of my spiritual journey this book serves as a resource to heal andto be better than my best. In tarot the Major Arcana card, Queen of Firemeans confident, warm, intelligent, and graceful. She encourages you tostretch your wings and fly, don't underestimate yourself and assert yourindependence and creativity. The Queen of Fire is me. It is my hope thatthis book will inspire others to live without fear and persevere despitewhat life hands you and take those moments in your life and turn theminto positive learning moments.

Doreen Virtue. Angel Tarot Cards

CHAPTER 2

BEING SPECIAL

"I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition.If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if Ifollow her, we get along quite nicely." ~Kim Basinger

I am the first born daughter of two beings who instilled andunwavering work-ethic, independence and drive in me that hasserved me well throughout my life.

I was born feeling special. I am intuitive, clairvoyant and clairsentient. Ihave the ability to see visions and feel the emotions of others. I've spent39 years embracing, understanding, and strengthening this gift. As ayoung child, I didn't know the feelings I felt were that of being highlyperceptive of a truth and understanding without reasoning. I foughtagainst this gift for years because my first recollection of this powerand the impact of knowing the truth was the single most impactful andsignificant moment of my life. This one event instantly changed me.

My parents met when my mother was 19 years old and my father24. They were married a year later and were married for 12 years. Idon't recall my parents ever fighting or observing any breakdown intheir marriage. In fact, always feeling older than I actually was, I canremember vividly stepping back, having a moment of self-reflection andthinking my life was good. I had everything.

I was 10 years old when I experienced but did not recognize my firstclairvoyant experience. I came in the house after playing outside andfound my mother packing dishes. I looked at my mother and new exactlywhy she was doing this. I asked her if she and my father were gettingdivorced.

At the time, I wasn't even aware of how I knew the term divorce. I wasvery sheltered and protected by the realities of the world. After longhesitation to my question, my parents sat both my sister and I downand confirmed the truth. A lesson that I was too young to understand,life can change in an instant and being sheltered did not serve me well.Suddenly at 10 years old, I felt an enormous pressure and responsibilityto grow up really fast.

It was 28 years ago when I started building a shield around my heart;I felt abandoned and held resentment towards my mother and kept herat arms length for 23 years. It wasn't until I was 33 years old and beganto walk where my mother had walked and truly began to understandher, forgive her, and bring her back into my life. I set my Yankee prideaside and apologized to my mother for how I judged her and slowingrebuilt our relationship.

I have spent the majority of my life with the exception of the last fiveyears of not being truly present and afraid of my intuitive gift andblocked this gift as much as I could. I know things that are not alwayspositive. I have slowly learned to listen to my intuition and the messagesbeing sent to me. Often those messages don't make sense at the timeI'm receiving them. It is my job to sift through those messages andfigure it out.

However, I have experienced great success in my professional career asan internal investigator...