CHAPTER 1
Developing a Capacity for Delight
The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention
— Julia Margaret Cameron
Do you believe happiness is a choice? How much of good feelings are generated by external events and environments, and what internally helps you discover greater joy and fulfillment? Researchers have recently defined happiness as the radiation of joy over one's entire existence or a deep sense of flourishing that arises from making healthy choices. Shawn Anchor, author of The Happiness Advantage and a former instructor at Harvard, studies the science of happiness. He claims you can change your health, relationships, work, energy, and life in general. He believes happiness is the fuel that actually impacts every aspect of your life. Students do better on tests when their brains are positive. You are more successful at work when you determine an optimal mind-set. Happiness improves and nourishes your brain functioning.
Many self-experts claim this, but there is a hollowness without research. For instance, longitudinal studies were done of nuns who wrote down their perceptions of their lives in the 1930s. Nuns, by the way, are a good experimental group because their days are somewhat uniform regarding dress, nutrition, and daily rituals. Their logs were then objectively analyzed by a team of researchers and categorized into areas of happiness based on their journal entries. Interestingly, 54 percent of the so-called happy nuns lived to age ninety-four, while only 15 percent of the unhappy nuns lived to age ninety-four. Living a long and unhappy life is not compelling, but the replication of these studies appears to produce valid and similar results (Anchor 2013).
What is your vision of a good life?
What are you doing when you experience feelings of sustained happiness? There is a high likelihood that you are most content with your life when you are making choices that satisfy certain basic needs. However, do you know what these needs are; and if so, do you have a vision and plan to make consistent choices to ensure feeling good about your life?
There appear to be basic human needs that are universal. There is a high likelihood that these needs are genetically programmed and are with us from birth until death. These needs when satisfied can lead to feelings of happiness and joy. Conversely, painful feelings are common when the needs are not met consistently.
Human beings are incredibly resilient, and our physiology is programmed for us to live a long life, depending on our genetic makeup and choices to promote or deter our overall sense of wellness. Furthermore, the need is not only to survive but to thrive. We also seem to have a need for love and belonging. It is likely that some of your most satisfying experiences entail interacting with those whom you respect and admire. In contrast, some of your most painful memories probably are associated with times when you were criticized, blamed, or put down by others. In an optimal environment, we seem to naturally want to make choices that enhance our sense of significance and feelings of self-worth. It feels good to be recognized and admired for who we are as well as our accomplishments.
We also seem to have a need for freedom to be in control of our lives and make choices without coercion, threats, or bribery from others or the external world. It simply feels good to be in charge of our destiny. There is a high likelihood that you have produced quality results when you were allowed to be in charge of an assignment or project. Freedom is intimately linked to internal motivation.
Lastly, we have a need for fun and enjoyment. Life appears to be more demanding as one goes through childhood and adolescence and enters adulthood. The careless joy, laughter, and permission to allow ourselves to enjoy the moment are often trumped by increasing life demands, responsibilities, and a tendency to worry and ruminate about the future. Consequently, the need for fun goes unfulfilled unless you choose time for activities, hobbies, and leisure pursuits that you enjoy. It is sad that too many of us do not seize opportunities for enjoyable activities for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to lack of time or perhaps feeling guilty that we should be doing something else on our endless to-do lists (Glasser 2011; Wubbolding 2010).
Perhaps meeting basic needs seems very self-serving, superficial, and even hedonistic. If you believe I left out something very important, you are both right and wrong. You are right in the sense that I did not specifically mention the need for spirituality and faith. Ironically, the search for love, the desire for significance, and the yearning for freedom from external control are important in your quest to deepen your purpose and meaning as you pursue the good life.
You can certainly change your circumstances, especially if you are in a very unsatisfying location, relationship, or job. However, external factors contribute only a small percentage; many researchers believe approximately 10 percent of your overall sense of well-being is linked to external factors unless you are living in poverty, ravaged by addictions, or in a disrespectful significant relationship. You also have a genetic tendency that relates to your temperament and disposition, but you can change your brain. Even for identical twins, which on average are remarkably similar, further depth in research findings indicate that there are identical twins with significant differences in the way they experience their world and life (Anchor 2013).
Thriving in life and resulting feelings of happiness and wellbeing is a choice that facilitates movement toward pursuing the good life. Peterson (2013) stated that recent research reveals the following:
• Most people are generally happy.
• Happiness often be gets more satisfaction, as it leads to desirable outcomes in school, work, fulfilling social relationships, and even good health and a longer life span on average.
• Most people are resilient and bounce back from adversity.
• Happiness strengthens character, which leads to positive relationships and helps serve as a buffer against the discouraging impact of disappointments and setbacks.
• The strength of one's character is often revealed during times of crisis.
• Other people matter and relationships are primary influencers of a meaningful life.
• Spirituality and religion matter.
• Satisfying work can provide greater meaning and purpose.
• Money makes an ever-diminishing...
