IN THE Process

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Contents

1 Where Did It All Begin?.......................12 The Seed......................................5a. No Regrets...................................6b. He's Still God...............................93 Going Through The Motions.....................154 Stay In Your Lane.............................195 Misplaced Focus...............................23a. Distractions.................................266 Don't Forget to Remember......................317 Pressure......................................378 Don't Stop Dreaming...........................419 Friends.......................................49a. Best Friends.................................5210 Family.......................................57a. They Are So Precious"........................6111 I Got This!..................................6512 May I Help You?..............................6913 Will I Ever Arrive?..........................77

Chapter One

Wednesday November 14, 1978 11:30 p.m.

I'm sitting at the dinning room table with my sister, my mom, grandma on the piano, and a friend of the family was there; he was a minister. We were singing a song called, "I Walk With God", and I began to cry and be broken in my spirit. Being fourteen years of age at the time, I really didn't understand what was going on in my life. All that I remember is this; I would come home from school, go in my bedroom, and for hours I would read the bible. I would fast and pray for days. My mother would look at me and ask me was I okay. I knew in my heart there was more to God than a Sunday school class and a choir. I had a hunger for the Lord that was unreal. Not knowing that there was a void in my life and that this void was going to be filled this night. Well, to make a long story not as long, the Lord filled me with His spirit. When they picked me up off the floor, with tears streaming down my face and speaking in a language that I was totally unaware of; I knew the real meaning of being 'drunk in the spirit'. What a night. I got on the phone and it was midnight. I called everyone I could think of, saying.... "I've got the Holy Ghost!" I thought about Paul and Silas; and you know what, things really do happen at midnight.

I remember the saints saying, "I looked at my hands and they looked new", that is exactly what I was feeling the next morning. I started throwing clothes away, as well as some of my music. This was a new day, a new beginning for me. This was the beginning of sanctification and restoration. Believe me God gives us grace and faith, but we must sanctify ourselves through God's word.

"Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth." (John 17:17)

I realized, "wait a minute, I have the same hands, same feet, same face, and some of my thoughts were the same". That's when the Joel 2:25 process had begun. I didn't understand at that time, that with everyday of our lives, we are being restored. As we walk with the Lord He restores us.

"And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you." (Joel 2:25)

God's desire for you is to give back to you every thing you lost. He has a double portion blessing for you, but if you don't change your mind, you will never receive it.

Just take a moment and picture a Father and son going for a walk in the park talking and sharing, as well as bonding. The son may have a few questions for Dad or maybe he just wants to be in his father's presence. That is exactly what we must do with our heavenly Father. Spend time with him. He wants fellowship, and as we spend time reading His word and praying, we are seeking Him. As we seek Him, we renew our minds. Yes, He gives us a new mind; old out, new in.

Here's an example: the old mind says, "I can never love or be loved because I didn't receive love as a child. I was abandoned and no one cared". The new mind in Christ says: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, and that sacrifice was made for me! For that reason, I can love, and I am loved unconditionally".

A new mind is the beginning of the process of restoration, which allows us to comprehend that God wants us to have the best life. In St. John 10:10, it's called abundant life; the God life, complete in Him. Your process will begin in your mind.

We must have the mind of Christ. In order for us to develop a Christ-like mind, we have to renew our minds. It is then, that transformation will take place.

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2)

As my mind begins to change, which includes my soulish man, my intellect, the seat of my emotions will experience change. This is not an overnight method. It's not magic. It is surrender, then receiving, and finally applying on a daily basis. I surrender my will, I receive God's word, which is His will, and then I apply His word to my life. That means I become a doer of the word and not a hearer only. When we put this method into operation, manifestation will always follow. If you change your mind everything else will change. Let me warn you. This does not mean that you won't have crazy thoughts come across your mind or a flash from your past. The remedy for that:

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (II Corinthians 10:5)

Chapter Two

So often we read the word of God and of course we are encouraged, but when we find ourselves in the lines that we have read that can be difficult. For example, God spoke to the prophet Isaiah concerning His people being objects of His love and honored in His sight.

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." (Isaiah 43:2)

It's okay when I'm reading about the children of Israel, but what happens when my waters, rivers, and fires begin?

I'd like to share with you a part of my life that was very difficult for me. During this period, I was very miserable. I believe I was a young girl maybe twelve or thirteen years of age, and I didn't understand why my life wasn't going in the direction of perfect. You know, I didn't understand why I couldn't get new clothes and have all the things my friends at school had. Why did I go home to a house that was full of drug addicts and alcoholics? The only comfort I had was my mother. She always tried to make me feel better and she went to great measures to sacrifice for me, but at twelve, I'm saying, "why me"? This situation caused me to be depressed and suicidal. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to deal with the embarrassment any longer. I would ask myself why am I alive? So one...