Don't Play with Me, I Am LIFE

Balboa Press

Contents

Introduction..................................................ixPart One Childhood Development...............................1Part Two Discovering More in Adolescence.....................15Part Three God, the Mind, and the Penis......................25Part Four The Moldable Brain.................................49Part Five Successful Sexuality...............................67Part Six Family..............................................81Epilogue......................................................91

Chapter One

Childhood Development

Curiosity

At the age of eight, I became fascinated with my body. Looking at my naked body in the mirror—its small size, thin and short—I knew I was different in my anatomy from my mother and other little girls. The thing that interested me the most was my genital, my penis. I was intrigued. What was it for? The question kept floating through my MIND, and the IMAGE of my penis was before me day and night. I was curious to know why my penis was the way it was. Why was it the smallest of all my body parts? As a young boy, I knew from observation that I was not the youngest boy in my family. So why was my penis the smallest? These questions were most pressing when we were about to bathe. Let me give a little background for clarity and setting.

I am originally from the greatest country in the world —Trinidad and Tobago. This is very subjective I know, but it was my birthplace and where my values were formed. Robert Hill Siparia always will have a special place in my heart. I spent my childhood there in the late 1970s. In the mornings when we got up and out of bed around 5:30 or 6:00 a.m., we children had chores to perform such as tying out the goats, feeding the pigs, and sweeping the yard. Then we washed and dressed for school. We kept the water in barrels gotten from the stand pipe or the well the evening before. The bathroom was at the back of the house.

We bathed one person at a time because the bath room was only big enough for one person, and as fast as you finished you had to exit quickly because another sibling was waiting to enter. I always noticed that my penis would shrink during my bath and remain so for a while. Not only did my penis shrink, but it seemed to disappear. So I pulled on it so it would return to normal size. I became obsessed with my disappearing penis. I then began to observe my brothers and noticed that theirs was normal size as they entered the shower as I exited.

I asked my uncle, my grandmother, and my mom about this shrinking phenomenon, but no one would give me answers. Sex and sexuality were taboo subjects that time in our culture. It certainly was not spoken about in the presence of children, and I don't think adults spoke of it among themselves either. In retrospect, I understand. It is a private matter.

Washing up became an occasion for me to further explore my interest in the taboo topic and the occasions were frequent. You see, Trinidad is in the tropics—hot and humid—so we showered twice a day. In order to clean myself well, I had to pull back the foreskin of my penis. I was taught that this level of cleanliness would help avoid future health problems. You see, I was not circumcised.

To understand circumcision in the sense that it was intended, by the creator Himself, we must go back to the language that was used to communicate the information, from the epistemological derivation of the lingual prima.

The language that was used to communicate to humankind was Hebrew, and in the Ancient Hebrew Lexicon written by Jeff A Benner. The meaning of these words that will be highlighted was found. Let me give a brief understanding to the structure of the language. In the Hebrew Ancient culture the people were very much pictorial in there function and interpretation of words, which was derived from the letters that carried the functional and concrete meaning of the intended word. The culture was very relational and dealt with things from a tangible perspective. Letters for example carries in the English Language only form and sound, but in the Hebrew Language the letters carries a form, a sound, a name, and a meaning. The culture literally was one that dealt with the pragmatic approach to things seen and unseen. They relate to what they can see, taste, touch, hear, and smell. The structure and formation of the development of words will give some insight to the intent of the creature concerning the MIND (thought), PENIS (unprovoked arousal), and the SPIRIT (synapsis). There are two Hebrew letters that make up the word circumcised, foreskin, mind, heart, soul and love. The definition of the letters that make up these words are as follows.

CIRCUMCISED. Gen; 17:10 S t r "4135" lexicon 1288 [TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII] (MWL) p g 28

MEM ([TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII])

The early Semitic pictograph for the letter is a picture of wave of water. This pictograph has the meaning of liquid, water and sea, mighty and massive from the size of the sea and chaos from the storms of the sea. To the Hebrew the sea was a faired and unknown place, for this reason this letter is used as a question word, WHO, WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY and HOW, in the sense of searching for the unknown.

WAW ([TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII]) p g 24-25

The original pictograph used in the early sematic scripture is a picture of a tent peg. The tent pegs were made of wood and may have been shaped like a y to prevent rope from slipping off . The modern Hebrew name for the letter is "v a v" a word meaning pegs or hook. This letter is used in modern Hebrew as a constant with a v sound and as a vowel. According to the appearance of the letter, the sound of the letter changes, also the meaning of the word changes. We know that the Hebrew and Arabic languages are closely related, and this letter in the Arabic language is pronounced as a w. As indicated in the pictograph, this letter represents a peg or hook, which are used for securing something. This meaning of the letter is to add or secure. This letter is frequently used as a prefix to words to mean " and " in the sense of adding things together.

This word has an adopted root meaning 2407 from the word to cut.

This root meaning of the word carries these two letters. [TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII]. This word carries the meaning as cut into segments, to cut tip or end, cut off , cut down, circumcise.

NUN ([TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII])

The ancient pictorial is a picture of a seed sprout representing the idea of continuing to a new generation. This pictograph has the meaning of continue, perpetuation, off spring, or heirs.

FORESKIN. The Hebrew word is (([TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII] A h R-LH)) p g 23,30.

The first letter of the word is ayin ([TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII]). The ancient picture for this letter is a picture of an eye. This letter represents the idea of seeing, watching, as well as knowledge, as the eye is the window of knowledge. This letter is silent in Modern Hebrew. There is no indication that the ancient sematic had a sound for this letter as well and appears to have been silent in the past.

The second letter for foreskin is del.

DEL ([TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII])

There are two possibilities for the original early sematic pictograph for this letter, a picture of a fish and a picture of a door. The modern Hebrew name...