CHAPTER 1

He Hurts When

Some people think men don't have feelings they're willingto express. What hurts a man's feelings usually stays within hissoul. What types of behavior or statements from women orthose who associate with a man disappoint and hurt? You maybe surprised as you read and learn. It's been said that it's easy tobruise a man's ego.

He Hurts When

• you talk about a former boyfriend while smiling fromear to ear;

• he patiently waits for you to have sex with him, and yousay you will, tease him, but have no intentions of goingall the way;

• he loves you, shows you, but never tells you until it's toolate—he's lost you;

• he cries in the dark, and you don't hold him;

• You always make money an issue because you earn moreand you never let him forget it

• he no longer sees a glimmer in your eyes when he walksinto the room;

• he knows that you are betraying him, and he sufferssilently;

• you compare him to your father or pastor;

• he feels God is far away from him and doesn't even hearhis prayers.

He hurts when

• he realizes he's ruined the best relationship he everhad and cannot go back in time to reconnect with hisfaithful, loyal, loving lady;

• he realizes you no longer have his back;

• he loves you but should not have married you;

• he married you but never loved you

• he breaks your heart and cannot mend it;

• his body is aging and he misses his youthful days.

• he needs the feel of your body next to his, and you turnyour back toward him;

• your loved one dies, and he can't heal your pain;

• you are angry, and you throw your engagement ring athim;

• He can no longer carry his weight in the relationship ormarriage.

• you shut down on him, and the silent treatment lasts fordays.

He hurts when

• you use sex as a weapon against him—as a reward orpunishment;

• he thinks you gave him the best years of your life—withregrets on your part;

• he reaches over to touch you, and your body tightens,sending messages of "not now, please go away";

• you tell him "I'm pregnant," and he really doesn't wantthe baby;

• his past mistakes catch up with his present situation,and you can help him—but you don't;

• he loves and cares about you, but struggles with hissexuality—he's on the down-low.

• you miscarry his baby;

• his career is over or has not begun, and he cannot takecare of you or his family.

He hurts when

• his best friend hurts;

• he hears you say "I don't need him";

• he can't understand or read your moods;

• you question everything he says;

• he feels disrespected;

• the weight of the world is on his shoulders;

• you used to take good care of yourself, paying attentionto details, and you stop;

• you forget his birthday.

• The empty nest creates anxiety for him and hisrelationship with you.

He hurts when

• you were a good girlfriend but never transitioned tobeing a mother and a wife;

• you don't let him be "the Man";

• he shares his secrets with you, and you share them withyour girlfriends;

• you tell him to get out and leave his own home;

• you don't spend quality time with him;

• you don't even try to love his children;

• he finds out that you aborted a baby of his and nevereven told him you were pregnant;

• you ask him for the truth, but you can't handle thetruth.

He hurts when

• you break up with him, and you start dating his bestfriend;

• you don't catch him when he falls; you don't even prophim up in his time of need;

• you stop encouraging him with positive affirmations;

• your relationship fails;

• you don't understand that he needs his space—hisbuddies, nights out with the boys, and his man cave;

• you revisit old stuff that has nothing to do with currentsituations;

• you leave, and he knows that you are never coming back;

• he gets mixed messages from you;

• he wants children, and as a couple, you have troubleconceiving.

He hurts when

• you hide behind cosmetics, and he admires your naturalbeauty;

• he feels that you sold him a bill of goods;

• you are his date at a party, and you dance with everyman who asks you for a dance;

• you always put your children first, and he feels last onyour list;

• he strikes you and realizes he could easily do it again;

• he sees his lady cry;

• he realizes he doesn't love you anymore but cannot walkaway.

He hurts when

• his partner, his lover, has become his roommate;

• you don't realize the sacrifices he's made for the good ofthe relationship;

• he doesn't have your undivided attention—due to yourcell phone going off all night long;

• you drove him away, and now, his body is with you, buthis mind is on the other side of town;

• someone else got pregnant—before he met you;

• your addictions are destroying the relationship;

• his wife has Alzheimer's, and her world no longerincludes him;

• his dreams are fading away, and you don't understand.

• He is sick and realizes his life dreams may not come tofruition

• You constantly remind him of his failures

He hurts when

• your insecurities are too heavy for him to bear;

• you don't realize that he can't bear your pain and youcan't borrow his strength;

• you say you forgive him, but you really don't;

• he accepts your mental illness, yet you discontinue yourmedication and your behavior...