Adolescence marks a special and unique stage in human growth and development, but it can be an extremely challenging time for both parents and teenagers. In The Parents' and Educators' Manual of Teenage "Rebirth" author Bruce G. Bentley provides an understanding of how teenagers think, feel, and experience themselves in relation to others and the world with the goal of assisting them in their battle to master adolescence. To help those caring for teens gain a greater understanding of child and adolescent psychology, Bentley applies principles of those disciplines, along with psychologically pertinent literature, to real-life stories of puberty, bullying, aggressive behavior, abuse, and suicide. This manual provides parents and educators with effective tools to understand, inform, challenge, and guide teens through adolescence so they can develop an independent and strengthened adulthood. It also offers teens a descriptive road map of what they can expect and what they can do to help ease anxieties and fears as they encounter life's uncertainties; it helps them to be better prepared for the changes or "rebirths" into new realms of relationships and responsibilities. The Parents' and Educators' Manual of Teenage "Rebirth" aims to ease the journey through the dark, mysterious, and wonderful world of adolescence with its joys and struggles and beyond.

The Parents' and Educators' Manual of Teenage "Rebirth"

How to Prepare Teens for Victorious Transitions into Adolescence and BeyondBy Bruce G. Bentley

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Bruce G. Bentley
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-4510-2

Contents

Acknowledgments.....................................................................................ixPreface.............................................................................................xiPart 1 The Death of Childhood and the Birth into Adolescence........................................11. Adolescence: The Rite of Passage.................................................................32. King of the Fakers...............................................................................293. A Bed Wetter's Saga..............................................................................41Part 2 Cougarville School...........................................................................494. Cougarville School...............................................................................535. Rafael: A Journey into the Dark Labyrinthine Underworld of Adolescence...........................696. The "Rebirth" of Charles.........................................................................837. Kurt and the Internal Monster....................................................................958. Marcus and the Invisible Beast...................................................................1019. The Heroic Journey of Ebenezer Scrooge to Purge the Wounds of Christmas Past.....................11110. The Tragic Losses of Liza and John..............................................................117Part 3 Internal Revolution..........................................................................13511. Internal Revolution Tactic 1: The Power of the Word—Reading...............................13712. Internal Revolution Tactic 2: A Sacred Place....................................................14313. Internal Revolution Tactic 3: Ejection of the False Image Within................................15314. Internal Revolution Tactic 4: Awareness of the Death Instinct...................................165Part 4 Self-Analysis for an Internal Revolution.....................................................17315. Self-Analysis 1: Dreams—the Emissary of the Unconscious...................................17516. Self-Analysis 2: Journal Writing................................................................19117. Self-Analysis 3: Understanding the Death Instinct...............................................201Epilogue............................................................................................231Bibliography........................................................................................233Index...............................................................................................241

Chapter One

Adolescence: The Rite of Passage

I believe that this chapter provides vital information for parents and educators not only to better understand adolescence per se, but to devise a strategic plan to inform the pubescent youth or teen of the vast changes during adolescence. Change into any unknown situation often evokes anxiety and fear in us, and I believe this stands as a central aspect of adolescence and the core reason some teens struggle through this period. The description of adolescent psychology and the story on puberty below will depict this anxiety and fear. Therefore, we can better prepare pubescent youth and teens for adolescence by providing information—a kind of a road map—about what they can expect and what they need to do on this journey into the unknown terrain of adolescence. In knowledge abides power, and through knowledge youth and adults can become victorious over this universal obstacle of fear.

Adolescence marks a time of change in the body, mind, and emotions. I believe this growth period compares to the importance of the first twenty-four months of infancy. Anyone can observe these changes as teens experiment with different attire, attitudes, and opinions. Adolescents simply seek a way to sort out their changing social roles and identities in the world. These changes naturally occur at different times for each person. A general understanding or framework of adolescence proves important. A helpful way to grasp the process of adolescence rests with a basic knowledge of the three stages of adolescence—early, middle, and late. At each stage, teens have a psychological task to accomplish.

Early Adolescence

Puberty initiates the early stage at twelve to fourteen years of age.

The Stages of Adolescence

A natural psychological crisis evolves for the youth since separation from childhood and dependency triggers the loss of innocence and the carefree world of girl/boyhood. Movement toward independence comprises the key psychological task. Independence means being self-sufficient at managing one's age-appropriate responsibilities, such as completing homework, maintaining a clean bedroom, taking on a small job like cutting lawns or babysitting, and spending more time with friends. Teens should still adhere to the rules and structure of their parents' household, but parents should be flexible and let go and hold youth responsible for the above tasks. Teens will only mature if they face the challenges of life's stresses and the joys of its success, as exemplified in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. During Harry Potter's arduous quest to find the Elder Wand, he recalls, "Dumbledore usually let me find out stuff for myself. He let me try my strength, take risks" (Rowling 2007, 433). Similarly, the psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung (1991, 56–57) emphasized that the most important function of schools rests not in teaching knowledge but in producing genuine men and women who stand as independent and unique individuals separate from their families. Therefore, if caregivers fail to give youth a degree of autonomy during this early stage, then serious problematic behaviors could develop, particularly during middle adolescence.

Author's Suggestions for Parents and Educators

The following strategies will help caregivers assist youth as they adapt to adolescence and create an environment of autonomy during this early phase:

1. Throw a celebration that simulates a rite of passage at age thirteen. A birthday party acknowledges to the youth and family that he has separated from childhood into the milestone of adolescence. This event compares in purpose to rites of passage used in primitive cultures to help youth create a necessary psychological shift from dependent-child thinking and social roles toward an attitude and role of increased responsibility, accountability, and independence (see "Rites of Passage" below). A symbolic gift like a purse for a female and a wallet for a male would be another appropriate gesture. The important part is the verbal acknowledgment and celebration by the parents and family of this developmental milestone.

2. Teach children about the emotional changes of adolescence. Early adolescence is the crucial time when parents and educators have the strategic opportunity to begin informing youth about the three stages of adolescence in order to help the teen adapt and help ease possible anxieties and fears. At this age, teens are less defensive and more receptive to this information than in later stages because they have not yet experienced the cognitive-emotional surge of midadolescence...