Winston B. Stanley, PhD, has spent many years serving as a pastor to adolescents. At youth conferences, retreats, and other events, he has always sought out to provide wisdom and guidance.

This guidebook for parents and youngsters alike is his way of sharing how to steer the lives of young people in a positive direction. You’ll learn.

• how adolescents think differently than adults;
• how examples of adolescents in biblical times provide lessons for today;
• how guidance from God can be applied to help young people; and
• how modeling, nurturing, and teaching can aid adolescents.

Stanley also offers guidance on promoting healthy essentials for physical development, tips on discipline, and ways to help young people take responsibility for their actions. It’s important to get the knowledge you need to confront the tough issues of being a parent and of becoming an adult.

As a parent or young person, you need to understand the psychology and dynamics that define adolescence. You’ll find the answers you need from a longtime pastor who has spent long hours listening, encouraging and counseling young people in Parents: Adolescents are Adults-with-Less Sense.

PARENTS: ADOLESCENTS ARE ADULTS-WITH-LESS-SENSE

A Christ-Centered Approach to Adolescent DevelopmentBy Winston B. Stanley

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2013 Winston B. Stanley, PhD.
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-6496-7

Contents

Foreword........................................................................xiPreface.........................................................................xiiiIntroduction....................................................................xvPart I: Understanding the Adolescent............................................1Chapter 1: Stages of Adolescent Development.....................................3Chapter 2: Biblical Concept of Adolescence......................................22Chapter 3: Culture and the Adolescent...........................................27Chapter 4: The Adolescent's Real Problem........................................32Chapter 5: The Adolescent's Health..............................................54Chapter 6: Socialization: Modeling, Nurturing, and Teaching.....................65Part II: Counseling the Adolescent..............................................89Chapter 7: RELATIONSHIPS! Relationships! relationships!.........................91Chapter 8: 3-C Counseling Model.................................................111Chapter 9: Elihu: He Is My God..................................................125Bibliography....................................................................137

Chapter One

Stages of Adolescent Development

God's Ideal: A Thinking Adolescent

I happened to run upon this statement doing research in education: "The mind that depends upon the judgments of others is certain, sooner or later, to be mis-led." In essence, the writer is saying we must learn early on to think for our individual selves. Years ago, my college professor stated, "the objective of a book is to make you think." Over the years, I have come to discover that both statements are true. With this said, the most recent research by neuroscientists involves what's called the field of functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI. This technique allows researchers to monitor the blood flow through parts of the brain as it responds to both external and internal stimuli, enabling researchers to monitor which parts of the brain are active and which are resting. Though the technique is being eagerly explored in a variety of fields, fMRI has received criticism from some brain experts as being the modern-day equivalent of phrenology. The question is, what can it tell researchers about the inner workings of the human brain and, more so, the adolescent brain?

As far back as I can remember, there has always been this insatiable desire by scientists to peer into the inner workings of the human brain. I'm sure there have been times as a parent when you have asked yourself, "Where was his mind when he did that?" The very same question can be asked of Adam and Eve: "What on Earth were they thinking when they made that ginormous mistake?" A great feat of science—or maybe not—would be to create an instrument where we could peer into the adolescent's mind in an attempt to figure out what actually makes them tick. Or try to figure out what's going in their heads. After five minutes of looking at their brain circuitry—a bunch of disconnected wires—and active blood flow of external stimuli, we would probably shut down or abandon the experiment for lack of understanding. The fMRI may reveal active blood flow, but it will fall far short of disclosing active theoretical reasoning.

In the article by Molly Edmonds titled, "Are Teen Brains Really Different from Adult Brains," she says, "The teenage brain doesn't appear to work like this—the Adults Brain. For comparison's sake, think of the teenage brain as an entertainment center that hasn't been fully hooked up. There are loose wires, so that the speaker system isn't working with the DVD player, which in turn hasn't been formatted to work with the television yet. And to top it all off, the remote control hasn't even arrived!" This book is an attempt to give you somewhat of an idea of the wiring process and to assist the adolescent toward making the right connections that would help them arrive safely on adulthood shores.

However, the following question needs to be asked: what is God's ideal for the developing adolescent? I vividly remember my eighth grade teacher Ms. Holden challenging us to "tink, young people, tink [think]!" She never could get that emphatic h correct, but she certainly got her point across with relative ease. While it was also pounded into our heads by many to "be a leader and not a follower," Ms. Holden challenged us to be thinkers.

From the very beginning, God would have the developing adolescent utilize her thinking capabilities. At creation, the antediluvians—men and women before the flood—were considered giants, standing some sixteen to eighteen feet tall with man's female counterpart standing head and shoulder next to him. Their intellectual capacity equaled their physical size in giant proportion. There are human marvels to this day that baffle the modern mind—for example, the pyramids of ancient Egypt and the sundial with its precision timing, just to mention a couple—that reflect their thinking creative abilities. These creations cause one to be impressed by yesteryear's thinking humanity.

In Deuteronomy 3:1–11, we read of a giant people whose houses were constructed of huge black stones in order to make their buildings absolutely impregnable to any force that could have been brought against them. The inhabitants of this land—descendants from a giant race—were themselves of tremendous size and strength, yet they became distinguished for their violence and cruelty as to be the terror of all surrounding nations. Og, the king of the country, was remarkable for his size and prowess, even in a nation of giants. Unfortunately, with this people, their intellects were used in a most negative and destructive manner.

However, it all began at creation when the intelligence and creativity of God was clearly orchestrated from the invention of the first delicately tinted flower to the superior craftsmanship of both male and female, from the naming of the animal kingdom to the ascribing of the first given name Eve, the mother of all creation. Man was created in the image of God with great thinking capacity. I am grateful that every created human being was created in God's image and endowed with powers akin to that of the Creator—with individuality and power to think and do. Because we are created in the image of God, this means that we can take responsibility for our own actions and that we are not slaves of circumstances but instead liberated human beings.

It has been substantiated that during the transitional years, adolescents are learning to think critically, and freedom of expression becomes increasingly important as they are learning to act or contract as an adult. The learned set of values (ethical, moral, and religious), as taught by parents and institutions during these adolescent years, will be challenged and questioned by the developing adolescent mind, which makes the establishment of rules significantly important for homes and institutions. While education is important during these years, adolescents seek answers to real issues in life, which make them question their learned system of values.

While there is still the need for discipline, rules, and restrictions for the adolescent, parents and institutions should be...