CHAPTER 1

My Heroine's JourneyCatherine Mich

Phase One: Father's Daughter

The new heroine's journey begins when our unique creativityis aroused, when we commit to giving birth to our fullpotential selves ... when we discover our vocation, our calling, andbegin upon the path of realizing our full potential in the worldthrough creative action.

When you first see the broad outline of my story, you mightfeel that it sounds too good to be true. My parents, Henryand Catherine Mich, were married for eight years before Icame along. Truly my arrival was long awaited (though theydid expect a boy), and it was seen as a cause for celebration bythem and especially by my grandparents on both sides of thefamily. As life would have it, I was an only child. At the time ofmy departure from the newborn nursery at California LutheranHospital, Nurse Paul told my parents, "This lady has a mind ofher own, so you better take hold of her right away." This was aprophetic moment, to be sure.

When I started going to school, I really loved it. At home Ihad already had many experiences, such as learning to read andmemorizing time's tables, that prepared me well for school. Itwas great having new friends, some who lived nearby and couldcome home with me after school. During my school years, mymother did not work outside the home, and she excelled atmaking my new friends feel welcome.

Over the course of time, my relationship with my dad becameincreasingly important. In many ways I fit the pattern of the"father's daughter," as Maureen Murdock illuminates it in herwork, Fathers' Daughters: Breaking the Ties That Bind. At the timeI was living it, I did not know about this pattern. When I firstencountered it in Murdock's book, I recognized immediatelythat my relationship with my father fit the description. It washeartening to learn that other women had experienced this typeof relationship with their fathers.

Murdock points out the following:

A father's daughter embodies her father's potential future; shewill make him whole. She will carry his youth, his whimsy, hisintellect, his spirit, his unrealized dreams. She will continuehis life.

In my high-school years I rode to school with my dad, and wetalked about whatever was going on at the time, just as goodfriends would. Sometimes he cast a fresh perspective, othertimes he offered sound advice. During those years and themany trips to school, when the subject of college and the careerI might choose arose, he was very clear about one thing: "Dowhat you really love because it will take all that you've got. Youdon't have to get all caught up in getting married. Just figure outwhat you love and go for it." In the late `50s and early `60s, thesewords came from a man ahead of his time. But just wait. Thenext part of the story gets more interesting and complicated.

The truth of the matter was that when he spoke those words,he had no idea what I would choose to do. During my schoolyears and into college, I attended Catholic schools. In contrastto stories I've heard from others, I had a positive experience.I attended Immaculate Heart High School in Hollywood,California, which was staffed largely by the Sisters of theImmaculate Heart. This religious community was characterizedby its commitment to quality education, an outgoing spirit withpeople, and a long history in Hollywood. Many of us becamefriendly with the nuns who taught us. They were not onlyteachers, but often were also moderators of organizations andadvisers when needed. By the middle of my senior year I haddecided that I wanted to join this community of women after Igraduated. I had been given so much, I felt called to give backto those who didn't have it as good.

Little did I know, this decision would start a real war of willswith my dad. My dad was not only opposed to this decision, hewas adamantly against it. We had many arguments about thisdecision. Finally we reached a point when he said, "As longas you are living under my roof, you must wait until you aretwenty-one to enter that religious community." So wait I did.During the intervening years, with his blessing and financialsupport, I left home to attend Holy Names University in theSan Francisco Bay area.

In September of my twenty-first year I entered the novitiateof the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in Montecito,California. During the two-year period of the novitiate, my dadrefused to join my mother on regular visiting Sundays. Clearlyhe knew how to leverage his position. Overall I was happyduring the novitiate period, yet regretted that my dad did notvisit. I learned during that time that part of his opposition to myentering the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary was thathe had hoped I would join him in his business. It was no wonderour arguments had become highly personal. He was a second-generationautomobile dealer with a successful Mercedes-Benzdealership in Los Angeles. Oddly enough, he never put thisdream on the table when we were arguing about my future.His dream, I came to learn from Murdock's work, is one of thecommon hallmarks of the father's-daughter relationship.

One of the administrators for the Retreat House, which shared theproperty with the novitiate, encouraged me to invite my parentsfor a weekend at the Retreat House. Time was made available forme to visit with them. This visit occurred about a year and a halfinto my novitiate training and evaluation period. Overall thatweekend was a turning point for my dad. Our conversations werecandid and honest, and neither of us spoke in anger. The changeof venue to the lovely retreat setting of La Casa de Maria set theperfect stage. My dad knew I was happy with my decision andthat I was looking forward to being professed in June.

So after our war of wills, give and take took place on both sides,and some rapprochement...