Jude Franklin thinks he killed the love of his life, Val Vandecamp. In the weeks after she dies, he goes on a spiral down spin with drinking and staying out late or not coming home at all. He is living at home with his mom and brother. His father was shipped over seas to the war. As if all that was not hard enough, a bombshell dropped when Jude fi nds out that his brother, Joey, is a drug addict. He starts going to Sunset Beach where he and Val fi rst met. Through his problems, he ends up meeting a girl, Wendy Brandsworth, that will not take no for an answer. Through their up and down relationship, he continues to confront his challenges from the past, present and not so bright future. His only friend, Drake, he learns has a dark past that he was not aware of in their so called friendship. While his father is over fi ghting for the country, Jude is fighting a war inside himself.

War Inside Me

By Sydney Nicholas

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Sydney Nicholas
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-4603-3

Contents

Chapter One Romantic Killer? Never heard of one........................................1Chapter Two Beast Inside me............................................................9Chapter Three Being in my happy place is happy, because I am alone.....................19Chapter Four Earthquake on Planet Jude.................................................25Chapter Five Change of heart, well maybe...............................................31Chapter six To be or not to be, that is the question...................................37Chapter Seven Doing the Job............................................................47Chapter Eight A date from girlfriends past.............................................55Chapter Nine One beer and a girl should clear things up................................65Chapter Ten Should have called.........................................................73Chapter Eleven The date from hell......................................................79Chapter Twelve Heart vs Body...........................................................87Chapter Thirteen Worst Nightmare.......................................................101Chapter Fourteen Pride is Pride no matter how you spin it..............................113Chapter Fifteen Preview................................................................125Chapter Sixteen No more Mr. Asshole....................................................135Chapter Seventeen I am not going anywhere..............................................139Chapter Eighteen On the outside looking in.............................................153Chapter Nineteen Don't open locked doors...............................................165Chapter Twenty Scared to relive........................................................173Chapter twenty One Free................................................................179Chapter twenty Two Drunken confessions.................................................189Chapter twenty Three Brothers that jail together, stay together........................201Chapter twenty Four Object of anger....................................................211Chapter twenty Five From all directions................................................223Chapter twenty Six Never the same......................................................233

Chapter One

Romantic Killer? Never heard of one

She was my sweetheart and I loved her. Val Vandecamp and I were everything you can ask for. I didn't know where she was but I did hear people talking. Some say she didn't even let her dad turn any lights on in the house if he did, well she would cry. Others say she skipped town and her dad had to drag her back. I even hear people saying she did drugs. I will never know what happened in the two weeks before. Val never let anyone see that she was upset. As for what happened, she killed herself. It wasn't that hard to put together, me of all people knew her the best, better than her own dad. I started with what her dad told me was in the bathroom, a glass and an empty pill bottle. Umm, not that hard to see how she did it, but why? Then my mind drifted and the memory of that call consumed me ...

"Jude, its Mr. V. I know what time it is, but I had to call. I know she would want me to tell you first." He said with no feeling in his voice.

"Tell me, Mr. V. what is it?" I asked loudly because I was scared out of my mind by now. "Val.... she.... she.... killed herself last night. I'm so sorry."

I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, it was like that guy on the movie "Click" I hit the mute button.

"No, what kind of cruel, sick joke is this?" I asked him with rage in my heart.

"Jude, I am so, so, so sorry, but it's true." He told me and I hit `end'

* * *

I tried to think like her, it wasn't like her dad was never around but her mom died in childbirth. She was a very good student, top of our class; she was a shoe-in for USC. It had to be my fault. I would hate myself forever if she killed herself because of me. Yes, I Jude Franklin killed the love of my life. I had to go to our place; I had to feel close to her again. A place that would help me remember ... perhaps a place to forget ... because I really want to, forget everything that is. I looked to my Mom and she looked as hollow as I feel.

"Mom, I am going to Sunset Beach." I called back to her, on my way out.

Everyone in my family knows what Sunset Beach means to me, they know the short story anyway, I met Val there.... but I also had the best night of my life there ... a night I would never forget ... with her. I walked to the spot where I first saw her and closed my eyes, letting my memory take me ...

Three years ago I recall that I walked out the door that day with a skip in my step. I felt the hot sand on my feet but I didn't care ... nothing could have made this day bad, yet I still didn't know why I was so happy. I walked out to the water and put my toes in, it was warm, just like the sand. I looked around for a girl that would show me a good time. But all of them were with good-looking guys. I was thinking that everyone had someone but me, and then I saw her.

She was reading a book. I tried to think of things to say to her, anything. I tossed my cup on the ground and went to pick it up at her feet.

"Oh miss, I'm sorry I must have dropped this. Let me do my good deed for the day." I smiled as I picked up the cup.

She then looked up from her book, smiled, and said, "You from around here? I have never seen you before, I would know if I saw a guy with a face like that."

"No, I just moved here from Texas," I told the girl with the bright green eyes.

"Well, looks like you need someone to show you around, now I myself am into this book so I don't think I have the time." she spoke with fire in her eyes at each word.

"Oh that is a shame; I guess I will have to do this." I said taking a step closer to her book that covered her face. I grabbed the book and ran as fast as I have ever run in my life.

I started reading a random page, "Young love is something we never forget it changes us forever. In life we are not sure about a lot of things, but one we are sure of, we know when we fall in love for the first time." I read as I ran when the pretty girl caught up to me she turned red.

"That's mine, just because you're from out of town doesn't mean you can just steal people's things." she said as she took her book from my hand.

"Well, looks like you have to show me how to behave." I winked at her I didn't even know her name at that time and I knew I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her.

"Yes but I don't know how to make a boy behave without saying his name in a mean mom voice and since I don't know your name ..." she smiled and started to laugh.

"My name is Jude Franklin and you are? Oh I know, the prettiest girl in the world."

"You have a lot of nerve Jude Franklin, just meeting me and hitting on me, all in less than an hour. My name is Val Vandecamp." she said putting out her right hand.

"It's very nice to meet you Val." I said taking her hand in mine and kissing it.

"Maybe I can show you around California, see I was thinking you were a jerk." she said being honest. "Oh I am hurt, but you know what, I will take it. What time?" I asked Val, completely shocked...