As a new widow, I expected profound sadness, but was thrown off-guard by changing relationships and unexpected social awkwardness.
I was upset with well-meaning people who:
• offered “words of wisdom”
• compared their prior losses to mine
• introduced me as a widow before I was ready
• failed to include me
• assumed I’d be back on my feet after a year
I was upset with myself for:
• seeking too much sympathy
• asking for help too often
• responding unhappily to invitations
• telling my story of loss to strangers
• sharing the worst side of me with my closest friends
In 45 essays, two voices describe the social challenges I encountered. My personal voice is overwhelmed with grief and my changing identity while my voice as a psychologist attempts to identify “what I can do for myself” to cope and move on.