Ever wondered why the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is often the brunt of jokes? Have you ever fallen into the trap of thinking that everyone treats her in-laws badly? Are you preparing to enter a new in-law relationship and find yourself hoping to avoid the pitfalls your friends have warned you about? Or if you are you longing to repair damage to your mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship but don't know where to begin, this Bible study is for you. The Mother-in-Law Trap offers practical applications based on biblical truths that will help you avoid the pitfalls that might jeopardize your relationship and develop an enjoyable, healthy relationship with your in-laws.

The Mother-in-Law Trap

Avoid the Pitfalls and Enjoy Your In-LawsBy Leslie Hudson Connie Lovett Neal

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Leslie Hudson and Connie Lovett Neal, M.Ed.
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-0709-6

Contents

Introduction....................................................vWeek 1: Learn from Others.......................................1Week 2: Avoid Communication Problems............................20Week 3: Sidestep Negativity.....................................41Week 4: Build Strong Families...................................59Week 5: Embrace Healthy Habits..................................79Week 6: Gain Strength through the Struggles.....................100Conclusion......................................................116Leader's Guide..................................................118Weekend Retreat.................................................124Appendices......................................................133Meet the Writers................................................141

Chapter One

Week 1: Learn from Others

Day 1: Naomi's Background

Day 2: Naomi's Influence

Day 3: Refreshing Ruth

Day 4: Ruth's Reputation

Day 5: Principles We Can Apply

Words of Wisdom for Week 1: In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3)

Our Prayer for You: Heavenly Father, we pray that each woman participating in this Bible study will commit to coming to You each morning in prayer. We pray that we will lay our requests before You and will wait for Your answers (Psalm 5:3). May we seek Your will in our relationships with our mother-in-law or daughter-in-law. Please grant us wisdom as we study. Help us to stay focused and to complete this study. Let us learn truths from the story of Naomi and Ruth that we can apply to our own lives. In Your Son's name we pray, Amen.

Day 1: Naomi's Background

In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land, and a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. (Ruth 1:1)

Note: Throughout this study, we'll often refer to a mother-in-law as a MIL and a daughter-in-law as a DIL. As we write, we will refer to ourselves in that way, too. Connie is the MIL; Leslie is the DIL.

A Biblical Example

In the Old Testament of the Bible, a tiny book called Ruth is tucked between Judges and 1 Samuel. It tells an intriguing story of the love and devotion shared between a MIL (Naomi) and a DIL (Ruth). It's interesting that this fascinating story about the two most important women in a man's life is given an entire book within the Bible. It was a time when women were often not treated with respect because they lived in a patriarchal society, meaning women were treated with little respect and had little or no personal rights. On the other hand, God, through His Holy Word, always presents women as worthy of honor. He commanded us to honor our fathers and mothers (Exodus 20:12). In Proverbs 31 a woman is praised not only for being a loving wife and mother but also for her business expertise. Scripture's definition of a godly woman is important to us because we need to realize our worth in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. Hang on to your MIL/DIL hat as we take a look at this unusual, but timeless story.

During the time of the judges, there was a famine in the land. A man left Bethlehem in Judah with his wife and two sons to live in the land of Moab for a while. The man's name was Elimelech, and his wife's name was Naomi. The names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They entered the land of Moab and settled there. Naomi's husband Elimelech died, and she was left with her two sons. Her sons took Moabite women as their wives; one was named Orpah and the second was named Ruth. After they lived in Moab about 10 years, both Mahlon and Chilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two children and without her husband. She and her daughters-in-law prepared to leave the land of Moab, because she had heard in Moab that the Lord had paid attention to His people's need by providing them food. She left the place where she had been living, accompanied by her two daughters-in-law, and traveled along the road leading back to the land of Judah. (Ruth 1:1-7, HCSB)

Continue reading Ruth 1:1-18 in your Bible. When you finish, check this box:

What one thing did Naomi do that impressed you?

_______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________

A Look at Naomi

Names are important today, but they were even more significant in Naomi's time. The name Naomi means "pleasant." Webster's Dictionary defines pleasant as "agreeable to the mind or senses; delightful; having an agreeable manner; amiable." Naomi's name gives us our first glimpse into her personality. In our modern culture, names are chosen for a variety of reasons: in honor of a family member, because the name is popular, or simply because the name is beautiful to the one naming. However, in the ancient Near East a person's name was usually descriptive of his or her character. Often, in fact, God would even change names to reflect life changes. (See Genesis. 17:5, 15; Acts 13:9).

List three ways we can know Naomi was pleasant based on Chapter 1 of Ruth.

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2.

3.

Do you think Naomi's "pleasantness" may have impacted Orpah and Ruth's decision to follow her? Yes No Explain. _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________

DIL: When I was a little girl, I thought researching the meaning of my name would be fun. But then I discovered that my first name, Leslie, meant "from the gray fortress." My middle name, Leigh, meant "from the meadow." How frustrating that my parents named me two names that did not go together! How could I be from the gray fortress and from the meadow? I was especially jealous of my friends, whose names meant things like "princess" or "graceful." Who wanted to be from the gray fortress?

I discovered, however, that the "real" origin of my name had nothing to do with its meaning. My dad's name is Lester, and as the firstborn, I was named after him. When I think about my name now, I don't picture gray fortresses. Instead, I remember that I am Lester's much-loved daughter. That's the intended focus of my name.

MIL: When I think of my friend Terri, I think of the word "patient." Actually her name means "harvester," which makes me picture someone devoted to a task. She exudes calmness through life's storms. When I need a friend to help me see a situation objectively, she's the one I call. Terri will stay calm and won't get swept up with the emotions surrounding a problem. As a result, Terri is a joy to be around and I've grown to depend on her for support and encouragement.

Much like my friend Terri, Naomi "the pleasant" must have been enjoyable company. Someone her DILS didn't dread visiting. Someone they made time for. Someone whose company even DILs could enjoy.

What does your name mean, or for whom were you named? _______________________________________________________________

Create a one or two word definition of your name based on your personality....