CHAPTER 1

Set a New Course

The Money Nerve

It's time to create the new financial you. You are ready to leave thepast behind and confront your financial fears. Great news! You've alreadytaken the first step. You are reading this book to get new informationand new tools to potentially make profound changes in your financialsituation and your relationship with money.

Before you start any journey, you need to know where you want to go(your goal), what you have to work with (your beliefs), and what newthings you will bring (your new perspective). The first portion of thisbook explores your story through other people's stories. It's important tobring your story to consciousness so that you begin to take responsibilityfor where you are. This, in turn, helps you make clearer choices thatwill take you where you want to go—and allow you to realize your ownpower.

Embrace your story; own your story. Be willing to accept that you mightbe partially responsible for your current state of affairs. Be willing tomake necessary adjustments to get where you really want to be. Whetheryou want to have millions of dollars, own lots of property, travel, save fora Jacuzzi, or stop bouncing checks, you need to acknowledge your goals.After that, you must make the commitment to go for it.

In this chapter, we look at a couple of personal Money Nerve storiesthat illustrate how dramatically our finances are impacted when ourMoney Nerve is pinched. We'll see how those people took control oftheir financial fears by making different choices that better reflectedwhat they actually wanted to have in their lives. We then look at mentalmapping, the way in which we have programmed ourselves to think.

Understanding your mental map and learning to make adjustments toit is an important part of this book. Once you get an idea about howmental mapping works, you will have the chance to look at your processand start questioning what you really want ... and whether you arewilling to make the changes to get it. At the end of the chapter, you'llfind exercises that will help you identify your mental map. Be honestwithout being judgmental. Let's jump in.

Rich Mind, Poor Body

Andrea fell in love and moved away with her boyfriend, whom sheeventually married. He grew up in a very wealthy family in whichmoney was treated as disposable. Consequently, he was irresponsiblewith money. When money came in, he spent it like he was still awealthy person—even though, most of the time, he was broke. He wasan artist and felt his actions were consistent with being an artist. Hewas often a month and a half late with the rent and other bills. Andthen, unexpectedly, he would sell a painting for fifteen grand, pay thebills, and say, "I'm going to the Bahamas." They would live it up for twomonths and then find themselves back in the same situation, unable tokeep up with their bills.

Andrea said, "He always had a no worries attitude, and it stressed meout like crazy!" She realized that, for her to have more money andmore control, she needed to go back to school. She borrowed moneyfor school and completed her education to enable her to earn a decentincome. Eventually, the stress of their financial situation was too muchfor Andrea, and it contributed to their divorce.

Andrea took back control of her financial situation by budgeting so thatshe knew exactly how much money she needed to pay bills and coverexpenses each month. Once she knew what had to be paid, she knewhow much money she needed to make. She worked freelance and tookevery job thrown her way. No job was too small. If she earned moremoney than she had needed the prior month, she put the extra intosavings and pretended it did not exist. The next month, she plannedon how much money she needed to earn without factoring in the extramoney. That way, if she were ever in a pinch, she had a rainy day fund.

Now she is married to a man who is much more in alignment with herfinancial perspective. He is more practical with his money, and she ismuch more comfortable because they share the same financial goalsand strategies.

Faith Will Provide

John's father was a devout Christian and a pastor of a small church. Itwas a point of pride that the Lord always provided, even if John's familydidn't have a lot of money. Almost without fail, when winter came, amember of the church would approach him and say, "The Lord has putit in my heart to buy your kids winter coats." Thus, the family would getwinter coats. John's parents trusted God to take care of the family, andthey were always taken care of—just not on John's timetable.

When John was young, his family had a tradition: if you were passed adime and needed the dime, it was yours; but if you didn't need to spendit, it should be passed to someone else who might need it. They called itliving on faith. Looking back, John realized that, as an adult, he hatedcounting on people because, as a child, he had no control over whetherhis wants and needs were met. While the experience did not lessen hisfaith, it did help him recognize that he wanted a more active role in hisfinancial road map.

The fun part here is that Andrea and John are now married to each other.They traveled different roads to arrive at a similar point of view. Becausethey each had a solid belief system about money and very real modelsfor how they didn't want to live, they were able to move confidently andsecurely into their financial future together.

How Money Nerves Differ

There are two important pieces of information in these stories. First,neither Andrea nor John blamed the artist or the minister for theirdifferent ways of seeing things. Each belief system worked for the artistand the minister, they just didn't work for Andrea or John.

We all have different wants and needs. Some people have a strong desireto save for the future. Others want to live in the moment. We all havedifferent levels of emotional tolerance toward our present financialsituation. If your...