Are you prepared to laugh, cry, think and be enlightened! all while reading the life of a young lady catured in the chapters of this book? The autobiography of Sifikia Ruffin-Trimble "Mirror Mirror" is a reflection of a life you will never forget. This book vividly explains how a person can go from a life of gang banging, sex and drugs. To living the victorious life that we all were meant to live. Some events in this book may be sensitive to younger readers. However, necessary! as all facts are true and relevant in essence of the requirements thereof. This is Volume 1 of her life, expanding from age 12-24 years old. Reader! buckle your seatbelt as you dare to journey inside the life of this young author.

Mirror Mirror

By Sifikia Ruffin-Trimble

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Sifikia Ruffin-Trimble
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-0822-2

Contents

Chapter I The Funeral............................1Chapter II The Fornication........................9Chapter III The Fight..............................19Chapter IV The Fugitive...........................33Chapter V The Farewell...........................37Chapter VI The Foolishness........................51Chapter VII The Forgiveness........................61Chapter VIII The Family.............................69Chapter IX The Faith..............................73Chapter X The Final Analysis.....................97

Chapter One

The Funeral

It all seemed like a bad dream. I awoke and immediately rushed to the restroom to vomit up the nightmare. As I kneeled down, hands gripping the ice cold seat of the toilet in our tiny two-bedroom project apartment. The horrible dream, the nightmare, the terror knocked at the door. "Are you OK in there", my sister (sunshine) yelled from the other side, with the voice of one who sounded as an angel. "Yeah! I'll be alright", I groaned still unsure of what was happening. Then reality was spoken. "Well, mama said get ready for the funeral". My heart dropped! You mean to tell me I wasn't dreaming. What do you mean funeral (I thought to myself). How long have I been sleep? Am I still sleeping now? My mind was racing about a hundred miles per minute. Someone wake me! Tell me it isn't true. There's no way my oldest brother is dead. Wait! I have to remember what happened.

"Get off the phone punk, and let me use it to call my family a cab".

Oh yeah! Now it's coming in clear to me. That was the voice of my oldest brother Jr. yelling at his slightly younger brother Fitzgerald; who was whispering sweet nothings in the receiver of our telephone.

"I'll be off in a minute, hold your horses", he yelled back. Five minutes later as Fitzgerald was still on the phone, Jr. came back again. "Get off the phone talking to that slut, who is it any way Tina, Gene, Barbara"? I could hear the anger in Fitzgerald's voice as he told the young lady he would call her back. Immediately they began to argue, yelling back and forth. Sounding like two K 9s ready to attack an intruder. Then came the shoving, fists flying, what-knots breaking. Now mama's mad! I ran and hid in the basement of the apartment, afraid of what would happen next. Everyone was in an uproar. "Get Out!" mama yelled, "Why did you start messing with him anyway". Although I was in the basement it seemed like everyone was down there with me.

Their voices were as vivid and clear as a freshly washed glass from the dishwasher. Frightened! I began to clutch my ears. See I had heard about the shoot outs my brothers would have with other people & the fights they would have among themselves. But luckily I was never home when these things would occur. I would always come home and find the house torn up or bullet holes through the living room windows. Sunshine would tell me about all the things that I missed, while I was off visiting my dad. Well unfortunately, I was there this time. Balled up in a knot, in the lowest level of our apartment. All the lights were out, as I sat there wishing that everyone would stop yelling, that the unfamiliar noises would cease. I was a frantic 12 year old girl, who was scared to move a muscle. Then I heard the words that I thought would end this horrible night. "I'm outta here", Fitzgerald yelled. "Yeah! you better leave", Jr. sniped.

I crept up the stairs praying everything was now calm. Jr. was still in an uproar. His wife and children were just as afraid as I was. I glanced over at them as they sat on the couch, hovered together like koala bears. "I can't stand this family", Jr. proclaimed. As he slammed the basement door I had left partially cracked. "Well leave", mama said. You could hear the mixture of anger, hurt and frustration in her voice. Ohhhh! but what did she say that for, here we go again. Jr.'s anger flared up once more. This time I ran and hid on the staircase leading to the upper level of the apartment. When the stairs began to squeak I immediately stop running up them and sat very still, afraid that if I made too much noise I would somehow be involved in this catastrophe.

"You make me sick, you forever taking sides. I was just trying to call my family a cab, so we could go home, but forget it". Then Jr. snatched the cord out of the wall and through the phone against the basement door breaking it into pieces. "I hate this family", he yelled once more. I was thinking the exact same thing as I sat on the stairs shaking, like I was in the North Pole without a coat.

BOOM! I heard coming from the kitchen. As I tilted my head slowly to the left and bended my neck around the staircase. I saw trash everywhere. Paper, chicken bones, dirty diapers, soup cans. Jr. had kicked over our 32 gallon garbage can. Never had I seen him in such a rage. He would always be the one who kept the family laughing and together. As he walked through all the trash kicking it around the house, that was the last straw for mama. "Get out right now! & don't ever come back". As they pushed each other, while stumbling towards the door. Once outside the argument continued, then he threw a brick at her missing her by about two inches and hitting the side of the apartment instead. Then two gunshots were fired! Mama was shooting at Jr. When will this night end? As mama was returning into the house you could hear Jr. yelling "You shot twice and missed. Laughing as he ran across the large grassy hill in the middle of our project community.

Then we all came from the back of the house and sat on the front porch to get some air and calm down from this horrible night. "What am I going to do with that boy", my mother asked of my aunt who lived in the apartment next door. Then just when things seem to be calm we just so happen to glance to our left and saw in the distance a man who looked like Jr. But we couldn't tell if it was him or not. It was about 10pm at night and it was hard to see the man's face as he stood at about a block away through an open field. Though the jersey and the blue jeans were the same as Jr. we just did not know if in fact it was him.

As we stared at the man and he intensely stared in return, my sister T-T came flying around the corner from the other direction. "Mama, she yelled frantically! Jr. is lying around here on the ground and I cannot get a pulse". We all turned back to see the man who stood in the distance but he was gone.

As everyone rushed around the corner Sunshine fell by my side. I didn't know what to do. Should I stay and make sure that she would be OK, or go see about Jr.? See sunshine was 8 1/2 months pregnant and fell down flat on her stomach. Finally she moaned in her angelic voice, "just go see about Jr." I ran as fast as I could. The wind slapping me in my face. The concrete pavement gripping my feet for a steady and balanced pace.

I wasn't nearly prepared for what I was about to see. As I approached the large crowd I wondered where all these people came from so fast. Over half of the project neighbors where standing in a half circle around the lifeless body of where my 24 year old big brother laid. Suddenly, everything went silent; I could hear no sound at all. Everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion. I watched everyone facial expressions, fingers pointing, whispering in one another's ears, weeping, yelling, but there was no sound. It was as if I...