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Inhaltsangabe: Megan survived the plane crash—but can she survive the aftermath? An intense, emotional novel from the author of The Unwritten Rule and Between Here and Forever.
Megan is a miracle. At least, that’s what everyone says. Having survived a plane crash that killed everyone else on board, Megan knows she should be grateful just to be alive. But the truth is, she doesn’t feel like a miracle.
In fact, she doesn’t feel anything at all.
Then memories from the crash start coming back. Scared and alone, Megan doesn’t know whom to turn to. Her entire community seems unable—or maybe unwilling—to see her as anything but Miracle Megan. Everyone except for Joe, the beautiful boy next door with a tragic past and secrets of his own.
All Megan wants is for her life to get back to normal, but the harder she tries to live up to everyone’s expectations, the worse she feels. And this time, she may be falling too fast to be saved...
From the Author: Me and PTSD, or how I wrote a book about it without knowing I had it:I don't like writing about having PTSD. I feel a constant need to apologize for having it because I haven't been in combat or the victim of a violent crime. My therapist says this is a huge part of why I refused to see what was happening for so long. I suspect she's right.In 2003, about a week after I'd gone from being the only allergy-free person in my immediate family to the one with more allergies than all of them combined, I had my first run-in with anaphylaxis. The culprit? Food.For a few days after my trip to the ER, I would make myself something to eat, but within a few bites, I'd have to stop because I was sweating and shaking and convinced I could feel an itch forming in my throat. Then I realized if I didn't eat, I'd be totally safe because if I didn't eat, I wouldn't die.So I stopped eating.I woke up two days later in the middle of the night, sweating and screaming. I passed out trying to get up. My husband and parents (who'd come up while I was in the ER) forced me to eat two tablespoons of sugar and the next morning, I found myself headed toward my parents' home, where I spent the next six weeks learning to eat again. It was hell. I wept the first time I ate a bite of chicken. I curled up in a ball on the floor for an hour after eating half a cup of rice. I was so sure I was going to die, but as the weeks went by, I gradually realized I wouldn't die if I ate foods I wasn't allergic to.I ate a very restricted diet for three years after that, and eventually managed to get into the high double digits of things I would eat without fear. I learned to act like I didn't care that I was allergic to so many things, and it didn't take very long for me to believe it.It wasn't until I started seeing a therapist in 2011 that I realized I wasn't okay with what had happened. In fact, when I decided to have full allergy testing done again in early 2012 and found myself having nightmares, I kept wondering why I was so scared. I'd had the testing before. It took a while, sure, but it wasn't painful.My therapist told me that I wasn't afraid of the testing, but that I was very afraid of what might happen afterward because of what had happened before. And after she asked me to talk about what had happened, she showed me a checklist for PTSD symptoms and I found out--nearly nine years later--that I have PTSD.I'm not nearly as aware or as brave as Megan is, but I've come to see that when I wrote Miracle, it was my subconscious screaming at me to see what was going on inside me. I've always sworn I'd never write about myself or anyone I know, but it turns out that Miracle is the most personal thing I've ever written. It just took me a long time to realize it. If you or anyone you know has undergone a traumatic experience of any kind, please visit nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/what-are-the-symptoms-of-ptsd.shtml to learn more and make sure you get the help you need.
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