Life has proven to show that we are born explorers. We're always searching, trying to discover for ourselves who we really are. The Million Boxes of a Heart is a journey starting from the outside, from how we appear to the inside of ourselves, to who we really are. It is a walk toward finding inner peace and freedom from the many memories we have forced ourselves into forgetting and memories that still haunts us today. The Million Boxes of a Heart is a set of internal compartments that exposes our weaknesses, pardon our wrongs, and grants us everlasting salvation.

Auszug. � Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

The Million Boxes of a Heart

By Lunga Phewa

Trafford Publishing

CHAPTER 1

THE STARTING-OUT BOX

A heart is made up of a million boxes—at least let'sthink of it that way. These boxes are all arranged in apattern that should never be touched, manipulated,rearranged or corrupted. The nature of these boxes is set to guideus, direct us and show us the way of life, how pleasant it is, andhow cruel it can be. All step-by-step.

The Beginning box. This is birth. This is where we areintroduced to this thing called life. Where we are guided everystep of the way. I call this the flexible box. By nature, this is thebiggest box inside everyone's heart. It is clean, neat and ready tobe occupied. This is childhood. At this phase we are naturallyclueless of everything around us and all the many curiositiesthat wrestle within us. And one thing I find vital about this box,something to always be careful about; its memory never erasesanything. What is inside your Starting-out box?

Amos 9:11-15.

The Lord says, "A day is coming when I willrestore the kingdom of David, which is like a housefallen into ruins ... I will bring them home andthey will rebuild their ruined cities and live there.They will plant vineyards and drink the wine; theywill plant gardens and eat what they grow."

The Lord your God has spoken.

You are probably wondering, how did life come to this?Dating back at childhood your box was filled with nothing buthappiness, warmth and peace. You recall all the joyful momentsyou spent with those who treated you well and left a mark inyour heart. Now you look at life and compare both the timesand lament, 'What did I do wrong?'

Life has turned out to be so complicated. Something younever ever imagined as a child. All the happiness and smilesyour box contains seems to be a fairy tail in this present life thatyou're faced with. At times you wish you didn't have to grow.You long for that old peace that reigned all day long as a child.You feel like all walls are coming down each day you grow. Evenat night you still cry tears that no one understands cause onlyyou know how much joy and peace childhood had compared tohow life is now. You still don't understand why they had to goaway and leave you all by yourself. Your Starting-out box stillreminds you of a life you would trade in anything to obtainagain. What happened? Why this much difference?

When Job had had enough of the suffering he was goingthrough, the Bible tells us he broke the silence and began cursingthe day he was born.

"O God, put a curse on the day I was born; put acurse on the night I was conceived. Turn that dayinto darkness, God. Never again remember that day;never again let light shine on it.

Job 3:2

Growing up life must have been something for job, can'tsay good; can't say bad. But I know through hard work he hadall he ever wanted, every valuable asset. But all of a suddenhe finds himself faced with this horrible tragedy of a loss ofchildren, livestock and his health on the edge. And so he cursesthe day in which he was born. He curses childhood. He curseshis Starting-out box. Why? It's Simple: However life turns outto be in the future, it will still, and always will be haunted bythe good and bad memories of childhood. Perhaps in his casethese sufferings reminded him of a life he once experienced asa child. A life of pain, and a life of struggle. A life where peacewas nothing but a myth. Or, perhaps childhood reminded himof the love he received, the protection that once surroundedhim. Suppose birth stirred up the memory of those loving armsthat cannot and will never hold him again. Warmth that willnever comfort him again, and peace that will never be foundagain. See when we are faced with a dreadful situation all thesethoughts come to life and torment us because they show us away into happiness but happiness that just won't be obtainableno more. Sometimes it's the opposite, these memories can takeus back to that part of the box where pain was all we knew. Thatpart where smiling was just not possible. They can cultivatethat hate which we'd believed to have faded with time. Theycan make us relive every moment of that troubling part ofchildhood. This box sure does contains vital stuff!

There's a film I love titled, The Prestige. Just a movie aboutmagic. I learnt some things from that movie; 'that every greatmagic trick consist of three important parts or acts. First part iscalled the Pledge; the magician shows you something ordinary. Adeck of card, a bird or a man. Things that your mind is familiarto. He will show you this object so that you inspect it to confirmthat it's real, normal and ordinary. But of course it probably isn't.The second act is called the Turn; the magician takes the ordinarysomething and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you'relooking for the secret but you won't find it, because of course you'renot really looking; you don't really want to know. You want to befooled. Now the trick has been pulled, but you wouldn't clap yet,because making something disappear isn't enough. You have to bringit back. That's why then in every magic trick there's a third act; thehardest part. The part we call the Prestige. That's the part with thetwists and the turns, where lives hang in the balance. And you seesomething shocking that you've never seen before.'

And that's exactly how the Devil works. He fools people intobelieving on what isn't real but makes it appear as if is. Usingthe memories inside your Starting-out box, he has stolen everybit of joy you can have of waking up in the morning and thejoy of actually being alive. He has taken the memory of yourfather or mother abandoning you and turned it into somethingextra-terrible. He has manipulated the memory of childhoodof when you were molested, kidnapped, raped, abused, anddespised. He turned it all into something never ever heard ofbefore. Something super horrible. He has convinced you thatthe happiness you grew up in was only for childhood, but inreality life is hard, happiness costs money and that eternal lifeis something that doesn't exist. He has turned the memoriesof laughter you once had as a child into some fairy tale youhardly can recall. But is all that true though? Are you the onlyboy who has ever been abused by his parents or relatives duringchildhood? No! Are you the only girl who has ever been sexuallyabused by a parent or from outside as a child? No! Are you thefirst person to have lost a parent on a car crash or incurabledisease as a child? No! Was your family the first to have buglersbreak in and steal everything back when you were still a child?No! And yes, pain can never be compared. Each person'ssuffering is unique, horrible and harmful in its own way. Thenyou ask yourself, 'If my case isn't a rare one, then why does it feel sodifferent than to what others have experienced?'

It's simple; the Devil never wants you to heal. That leadsus then to the 'Prestige' part. The hardest part. The part thatexposes all the lies, all the tricks and all the methods that Satanhas been using to keep you fooled and blinded from knowingthe truth that sets everyone free from the wounds and scarslocked within the Starting-out box. And the truth is that Godhas always been willing to restore the joy and peace you oncehad as a child. He is all out in offering you the warmth youonce felt and the happiness you once knew. Satan tried to turnyour childhood experiences into something horrible, but Jesushas come to restore peace and show you how such experiencesmake you special-however frightening...

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