MIDDLE AGE CRISIS

AuthorHouse

Chapter One

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I think, "Okay, let the adventure begin." Sherry's looking out across the water like this is a joke and the plane is coming back. I start dragging things higher up on the beach. I say, "Hey, I could use a little help here. There's only three hours or so of daylight left.

She finally speaks, "Are you sure about this?"

"If I was sure, it wouldn't be an adventure! Come on, we need to get things set up before dark."

"Where do we start?"

"Fire and shelter first. Let's look for a good spot to set up the tent. Come on."

We find a spot just inside of the tree line. It's a flat sandy clearing, so we'll set the tent up here. We drag everything into the woods to the clearing. I start setting up the tent. She's just standing there with a dazed look on her face.

I say, "Why don't you gather some wood off the beach for a fire? Stay away from any animals or reptiles. Just stack it up over there."

She finally moves. I think she's in shock.

The tent goes up pretty good. It's a three room Hillary tent, like the one they used to climb Mt. Everest, or at least that's what it said on the box when I got it a couple of years ago. There, I think that's it. I've got it facing so the breeze is to the back.

Sherry's just wandering around the beach. I think she's waiting for the plane to come back. I better go help her.

"Hey, Sherry, what are you doing?" I can tell by the look on her face that she has no idea. "Come on, let's grab some of this wood for a fire, I'm getting hungry."

I grab a big armful and take it to camp. When I come back, she's still walking the beach. I grab another armload of wood and take it back to camp. I don't have the slightest idea what Sherry's doing. I can see her most of the time from the camp. I make a fire ring, set up the folding chairs and open the trunk. Wow, this thing is full. I brought two cases of beer, but I get the bottle of Crown Royal. I set two plastic glasses out and put about two shots in each glass. I find the bag of smoking stuff. I had gone to the Smoke Shop before I left and got two packs of cigarettes, two packs of cigars, papers and lighters. I grab a pack of cigarettes, papers and a lighter. Then I dig that bag of weed out of the coffee. I roll a big joint and set it out with the drinks on a box in the tent. I get the two-burner stove and lanterns out. One of the lanterns is gas and the other is a battery lantern. I set the little stove up on some drift wood.

Sherry's still walking the beach. I guess I better go get her; she's getting close to the water.

"Hey, Sherry, what are you doing?" She doesn't seem to have a clue.

"Do you see that big yellow thing in the sky? Well, see how close it's getting to the water? That means it's going to be getting dark soon. There are probably things that come out at night that you might not want to meet. The sand crabs alone can kill you. You sure you want to stay out here?"

I think that got her. I tell her to grab some wood on her way. I grab another armful because I don't know what to expect, and I want a fire. She's carrying a half-dozen pieces of wood and I'm dragging a half tree, but at least she's moving.

We get to the camp and she says, "Wow, did you do all this?"

"No, the pygmy head hunters did. They wanted us to be comfortable."

"Oh, are they coming back?"

"After we're asleep, so what do you want to do now?"

"Wait on the plane."

"I laugh and say, "Come look at the tent."

We go inside. It's like seven feet tall with a bedroom on each end. She says, "This feels safe".

"Your room's over there, mine is on this end."

"No way! We're sleeping together."

"Hey, look there."

I get the glasses of Crown Royal and hand her one. Then I get the joint and light it up. I take a couple of tokes, a sip of my whiskey and hand the joint to her. She does the same. We talk and light up a couple of times. It's probably a little before 8:00 p.m.

I say, "Come on, let's take a walk" and she says "okay". That's the Sherry I was hoping she'd be. I get in the trunk and get the two machetes that the guy talked me into buying. One's 18 inches and the other 15 inches. I hand the small one to her and tell her to put the belt around her waist and tie the strap around her leg.

"That's it, let's go."

We spend about 30 minutes covering the perimeter about 50 yards out. She has no idea we're walking in a circle. Everything looks cool. We wind up back at camp.

"Hey, look there, we're home."

"It's starting to get dark."

"Yeah, and I'm still hungry."

"How do we eat?"

"Let's finish our drinks and see what we've got."

I open the trunk. I want something quick and easy, so I'm thinking Spam and beans. I'll see what she thinks. Here we go, Spam and beans. Sounds like the best way to start. Some of this stuff isn't going to last long, like bread, veggies, eggs. I put a tank in the stove and light it up. I put a tank in the lantern and light it up, too. I only brought five tanks, I hope they last. We'll see what happens. I break out one of the mess kits. I get everything started and turn it down low. Sherry lights that joint back up.

I ask her if she wants another shot of whiskey and she says no.

I said, "You might want to dig out what sleeping stuff you have."

I brought three sleeping bags and she brought a pillow. I'll be taking that from her.

"Sherry, watch the food for a minute."

I fix us a bed in one of the rooms. I fold the third sleeping bag into a pillow. There, that will have to do.

"Is the food ready?" Great, she's spacing out again.

"Huh?"

"Here". I hand her a plate. There's catsup and everything in that bag. We eat, not bad. I ask her to bring a lantern and walk down to the water's edge with me to wash the pans. We get back to camp and I try to start a fire, but paper is the one thing we didn't bring much of. I finally get one started with the labels from the cans we used.

After sunset, I say, "Come on, let's go to bed, it's been a busy day."

I get the battery lamp, the little radio and a bottle of water. There's only one station on the radio, doesn't seem like there's much there, so I turn the radio off, turn the light off, and try to talk to Sherry.

"Sherry, thanks for coming with me."

"Thanks for asking me."

The animals are getting louder and she says, "Hold me, Larry." So I hold her until sunrise.

I get up and start a pot of water. While it's warming up, I go to the beach to look around. Nothing new. The water's hot, so I get the coffee and condiments. I use the same cups we had last night. I brought a 50 count pack but when I camp I try to be conservative, less trash.

It sounds like Sherry's waking up. Damn, looks like someone had a rough night.

"Morning, Sherry, ready for coffee?"

"Yes, please."

I give her everything and start breakfast, eggs and Spam. During breakfast and our second cup of coffee, she says, "What do we do now?"

"We pack our backpacks with lunch, water and a few other things and then explore. You need to get those new boots out and I'll get mine."

I go and wash the dishes and make us a couple of walking sticks. After we get our boots on, we look like real hikers. She asks where we start and I tell her the beach.

We go to the beach and turn...