Lesson 1

A World of Conflict

If we can stay with the tension of opposites long enough — sustain it, be true to it — we can sometimes become vessels within which the divine opposites come together and give birth to a new reality.

— Marie-Louise von Franz, The Art of Original Thinking

We are going to begin our exploration of the mysteries of human nature with a concept that is so profound and pervasive in our lives that it permeates everything we think, feel, and do. In order to illustrate this important concept, we will start by contrasting a few common sayings that have been handed down for generations. Even though these groups of sayings are opposing and conflicting in nature, each portrays a snippet of life that we have all experienced to be true in certain situations.

How can each of these groups of opposite statements be true when they represent opposing views? The fact of the matter is they are. You might ask yourself, "So what?" Well, to begin with, much of our misunderstandings and conflict in the world stem from our lack of knowledge illustrated by these four simple, conflicting groups of sayings.

When you look at the sets of opposing sayings, you can see that they are completely invalidating of each other. But I am sure you will agree that each of these statements is true in certain situations. So both are true, yet they are opposing in nature. Can you see that there is some potential for conflict here?

A common human problem we face is that conflict can easily and readily appear when someone's beliefs are the exact opposite of someone else's, especially when the beliefs have an emotional attachment. There is conflict everywhere you turn: conflict between nations, factions within nations, spouses, family members, employees and employers, and just everyday people in general. It is no stretch to say that the results can be catastrophic — in wars, riots, suicides, divorce, and untold heartache.

So what is the solution to our universal problem of conflict and turmoil? I believe that it begins with the knowledge and understanding of the concept that basic human nature is built on opposing and competing differences within each and every one of us. This is the source of most of the trouble in this world.

Can it be that basic — and that serious? There is absolutely no question that it is. This book will help show you that instead of all this confusion, we can ultimately find glory in our differences. Our conflicts play an integral part in reaching our lofty goals. We will be exploring this in detail. It would appear that our present-day solution to disagreements based upon conflicting beliefs is to stand up and fight for our sides. Sometimes even to the death. Is there a better way? Of course there is! Read on to find out just how to do it.

Many books have already been written on pieces and parts of this subject, but this critically important information has not become a component of common culture. Maybe it is because these books have been written by scientists or intellectuals in such a manner that only other scientists or intellectuals can fully appreciate them.

How sad and unfortunate for us all.

Humankind has achieved so much in so many areas of life that it's unnecessary to even mention the high points. Yet for all our spectacular accomplishments, basic human nature, which is at the core of our existence and the source of our experiences in this world, seems to remain a mystery for most of us.

What is going on here? How can this be? It seems that all we really know about human nature is that we are all very different for some strange unknown reason. If we are all human beings who share a common nature, why are we so dissimilar in so many ways? How is it that some people feel, think, and act so completely opposite from the way you do? That is exactly what we are about to explore.

I Didn't Have a Clue.

I used to be unable to understand or relate to most people. (This is the main reason why I became interested in this subject.) I just couldn't figure them out, and at that point in time I really didn't want to. I came to the only conclusion that made sense to me. I truly believed that most people in the world were weird, crazy, or stupid. From my way of thinking, it was the only rational decision to come to.

Only a small circle of friends, family members, and other people who thought like I did accounted for what I considered to be somewhat normal, functioning human beings. And these were the people I felt comfortable being with. As for the others, my dealings with them usually ended up with poor results because I just couldn't see things their way — and they definitely couldn't see things my way. Do you feel — or have you ever felt — like this?

As I grew older and somewhat more experienced associating with people, I began observing them and myself more closely. Being in the business world, I had to deal with all kinds of people in a variety of ways. Because of my inabilities to be effective with people in my personal life, I found that I was also ineffective in my business life.

When you own your own business, you learn that you are responsible for the business's results. And I wasn't too happy with the results I was getting. I decided to try to modify some of my behaviors as I finally understood that most of my business problems were me. I began to investigate areas that led me to some revelations and transformations. Before that, I didn't have a clue what a screw-up I was when it came to my understanding of self and my relationship to others. I was just doing what felt right to me.

Life is so full of turmoil and heartache because we don't understand each other. And we can usually find it close to home. What about your own family? Do sparks fly when some of your in-laws get together? Do you have family members who haven't talked to each other in years? Or is there at least one black sheep in the family who no one can figure out or help? Could much of our confusion, pain, and resulting turmoil be avoided with some basic knowledge of human nature? Yes! But it seems that this kind of knowledge isn't available to most of us.

How about one of the biggest travesties in our culture: divorce?...