In the Beginning

Did you ever sit and wonder why things happen the way they do? Scientist for decades has spent countless hours and money on researching how we came to be. I couldn't tell you in numbers or facts how this is true, but I can tell you how Yesica Gutierrez came to be and how it relates to so many others in our society. At times you feel like a diamond in the rough and others like you were spawn from Lucifer himself.

Up, down, up, down our emotions go, like the best architectural rollercoaster ever built to mankind. She rolled through days, months and years this way. As she sits and thinks back she had become a robot; was on autopilot for most of her childhood. In with the bad and out with the good, whenever those moments were gifted to her. Day after day she sits silently and listens to others as adults talk about their amazing adventures, vacations, toys, family time, laughter, comfort, and security their parents gave them and capsulated herself in misery.

Instant flashbacks for every memory others mentioned, she silently murders them. Jealously could be the cause, but she has yet to decipher if she wants to own up to this noun of emotions. In her heart, if ever such a thing truly drives a person, the sadness, the heartache is so real, but yet Yesica never spoke up; until it was too late. She doesn't believe that all her childhood was nothing but pain and tears, but that's all the mind allows her to process.

Every day began just fine even if it was for a brief moment from opening her eyes to walking to the restroom to pee, but it almost never ended so blissfully. "Yesica, es la hora de levantarse para la escuela nina." "No, mom I don't want to". She remembers slowly taken in a huge gasp of oxygen, as she puts her frail, little hands over her face, clenched her eyes down and gripped her teeth and braced for impact. She saw this woman; no more than 4 foot with a face only makeup artist could create in a horror film coming her way.

Her temper was raging! She was a beast! Although short in stature, she took big strides to get closer to Yesica. At this moment everything begins to slow down as if they were in the Matrix and she is beginning to scream for mercy. Her scalp feels like it's on fire as she's being hoisted up by a 50,000 ton crane; her hand full of dark gorgeous lock filled within her small hand. The attack was so violent in nature, she mourns on it now and can only compare it to a pit bull attacking a stray dog.

Her mother only wants one thing, to feel dominance. Masters of dog fights achieve this type of beast by inflicting torture with a metal chain; whipped and bullied for weeks at a time, until finally they explode by obeying their master's wishes and attack anything breathing the torturous air. They truly have nothing to gain in the end. At some point the rage gets sucked back into this tiny frame like the ending of a black hole and Yesica is left with an endless flow of salty water running down her face and psychological damage, but at the time she would never know the true effects of such a theory would be so empowering later in life. Did she ever get to school? Yes, of course because she began to realize that was the only place she felt safe, mentally and where she could have a decent meal.

Ok, so at this point you're probably thinking awe poor thing or just in shock that a parent would commit such a heinous act, which is just, but let me tell you their story that will leave you in awe. Yesica has a dad, born Andres Fernando Rodrigues. Yes, "S" not "Z"! Just for the record Rodrigues is derived from the Germanic personal name "Hrodic". A prestigious surname originated in Spain, meaning renowned power. He was born January 15, 1950 in a small town just off the coast of the Florida. He is the eldest of five children and needed the most attention in terms of physical and cognitive development. His younger brothers and sister are both highly educated and have been successful all their lives, but what defines success, right?

Yesica was told by her Auntie that her biological grandpa, whom she never met, was in the Navy and was very handsome. Her grandmother and grandfather by blood were young and their relationship flourished all along the east coast as he docked in each new city. From what she had gathered she was only 14 (going on 21), lived in an abusive home and hated her mother (haha, as she giggles with the thought of "join the club").

At this young age her Abuelita had run away with prince charming and began to realize one day she was pregnant, too young, too soon with a man she saw on moderate occasions. They were said to be madly in love though. During her pregnancy she didn't take the best of care, she was only 14, no parents, no guidance and little money. During the last trimester Yesica's Auntie said that there was little to know chance that the child would survive and if it did, not beyond the age of 3. During the birthing process the midwife found that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her Dad's neck, losing oxygen to the brain and he seemed under developed. She was trying to recollect all the details as she told the story and mentioned he spent some time in the hospital to stabilize and then was later released.

His dad (aka Grandpa Fermin) loved him, as he was his only child at the time, later loved his other sons and praised his little girl as if she was born a princess. He was a great father, but threw her Abuela through the ringer with his manic episodes of depression and possibly post-traumatic stress. Through her father's childhood he witnessed the anger, separation, and stress and strain while he was trying to develop and find himself.

By the age of two a little brother came along and Abuelita started noticing that the younger siblings were exceeding him in all aspects. She said he didn't talk at the norm age nor was he able to navigate physically as other children his age did. Her Abuelita shared a story about little Andres that put into perspective how he truly functioned. They lived in a home that had stairs; he and her uncle's use to play on them going up and down, up and down. For her dad he never actually ran up and down; he had to crawl up and slide down one step at a time on his bum.

Yesica asked why this was so, she thought it to be somewhat funny thinking of how this may have looked at the time. While all along his brothers were excelling in motor skills, he is just below the age of five and can't navigate how to be like him. He would also fall, hit his head and get right back up with no emotions and continue on his path. Her Abuela found it to be odd, but didn't think much of the delay and kept treating him as a "normal" child. At the age of fourteen and his father Fermin's many attempts to end his own life; he was successful. Madness, stress, money, and...