Many marriages perish because of a lack of knowledge and understand of God's design for marriage. Many others seem to last and pass the test of time. In reality, they live unhappy, unfulfilled and miserable for 50 plus years. In the 21 years of doing marriage the wrong way, it points out the many failure points that can lead to divorce or an unhealthy marriage. However, God Himself has reveal in his Word how to live a prosperous, joy-filled and healthy marriage. The key is to "Renew Your Mind To God's Design." This book will empower you with 21 ways of doing marriage the right way. 21 simple, yet not so easy ways that if done correctly will lead you to a marriage that is blessed by God. Marriage is not easy, but once you understand and apply the principles, you will find it gets easier and easier. While reading this book, you will find yourself thinking "how well these principles apply to your spouse." However if you are the one reading it, then it applies directly to you. A renewed and changed approach to how you respond to your spouse will be the beginning of a healthy relationship.
Marriage
21 Years of Doing It Wrong 21 Days to Make it RightBy Winston T Jackson, SrAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 Winston T Jackson, Sr.
All right reserved. ISBN: 978-1-4567-3794-8Chapter One
Day One Sow the Seed of ... Realizing God's Love for You
The first and most important element towards creating a spirit-filled marriage resides in this understanding: God Loves You! Plant this seed in your heart, water it and nourish it daily by praying, reading and applying His Word. From this very moment in time to the second you breathe your last breath, understanding God's love for you is the seed you need in order to begin loving your spouse and seeing the fruit of a God-blessed marriage. Knowing God loves you means that you can trust in His Word, His leadings and in the Holy Spirit.
Here's the good news! God desires you to have a great marriage. If you are separated, in divorce court, divorced, in an "okay" marriage, or already in a great marriage, God wants to give you more. His Word says in Ephesians 3:20 (NKJV), "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us." The key, to receiving the exceedingly, abundantly and above, is having "the power working in us." You obtain and increase this power by your knowledge of and obedience to the Word of God. Now the words "exceedingly," "abundantly," and "above," are Paul's way of saying God's giving is an unceasing increase that has no end. So regardless of where you are in your marriage life, God's desire is to give you a better marriage and then improve upon that; then improve upon the improvement and so on and so on ... He loves you just that much!!! Continue to sow the seed of God's love for you and watch as you reap a harvest of love multiplied again and again.
Affirmation
Today, I commit to receiving all of the love that God has for me. I know and understand that He and He alone is my source of self-control, joy, peace, patience and most of all, love. Regardless of my current marital status, I KNOW that God is willing to meet my needs and then continue to exceed them.
Prayer
Father, I thank You for Your love. Thank You for loving me so much that You gave Your only Son, Jesus. I believe in Him, I rely on Him and therefore receive Your gift of a good life filled with Your blessings of love, joy and peace. Romans 8:37-39 states that nothing (no thing) can separate Your love from me. Forgive me, O Lord, for the times when I am weak; I trust in You to restore me, cleanse me and make me pure in Your sight. Whatever I ask You for, according to John 14:14, You will do it. Thank You for far more than I could ever imagine. It is in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Day Two
Sow the Seed of ... Learning to Love You
One key to a successful marriage is learning to love you. Many people seek an external source to find love for themselves. They believe if they love others, they will receive love in return. That is somewhat true; however, the foundation to loving someone else is first built on knowing God loves you, then second, learning to love yourself. You must first possess love in order to give love. God gives love to you; you receive that love for yourself and then give to love others.
When Jesus says in Matthew 19:19 that we should love our neighbors as ourselves, the qualifier to loving your neighbor is having a love for yourself. In Ephesians 5:28 (NKJV), Paul speaks to husbands along this same line when he says, "Husbands ought to love their wives as their own body; he, who loves his wife, loves himself." Again, the qualifier is to love you.
You will learn to appreciate the beauty of God that He placed in you by way of the Holy Spirit. When God breathed the breath of life in you, you were made complete with ALL of the fruit of the Spirit in you. Galatians 5:22 (NKJV) says, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Although some may find this hard to believe, He's in you; that's who you are! Let me put it another way. God placed a seed in you (The Holy Spirit) and the harvest from that seed is the fruit of the Spirit. So not only do you have love in you, you are love. No external force can tap into that love other than you; once you get it, you can freely give it.... unconditionally and never-ending.
This seed of loving yourself is one that mass-produces internally; yet, its fruit is displayed externally. A person who loves himself/ herself is confident and self-reliant; not dependent upon someone else's love to feel good about him/her. This person of self-worth and self-confidence is very attractive, especially to your spouse.
Affirmation
Today, I commit to a full investigation of the love of God placed in me. I will seek God for the Holy Spirit to reveal and increase my understanding of what a precious gift of love I am to God and to myself. I will look beyond those things the world sees as attractive and only seek to please the Father and myself; therefore pleasing my spouse.
Prayer
Father, I realize that before I can love others, I must first love myself. I am created in Your image and likeness: therefore, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, according to Psalm 139:14. I submit my thought life to come into agreement with Your thoughts concerning me. I thank You Lord for loving me, even more than I love myself. Your love is shed abroad in my heart and I will love others just as I love myself. As a husband, I look to Christ as my example of how to love my wife. As a wife, I submit to my husband as is fitting to the Lord. I give You all honor, glory and praise in Jesus' name. Amen.
Day Three
Sow the Seed of ... Committing to Change YOU
Most couples enter into a relationship because there are so many positive things they like about each other. However, as they really get to know each other they begin to notice "character flaws." They either decide they can deal with it, or think the other partner will change. What they really mean is "I can change that!" This is one of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships. You cannot change the things you consider as flaws in another person. Only God and the person can change themselves. What you can do is change the way you respond to those imperfect behaviors!
The only person you truly have control over is yourself. Therefore, if you commit to change your response to the things you do not like, you will find more peace and tranquility in your marriage. There is nothing wrong with letting your spouse know you do not like certain behaviors or disagree with something said or done. If you discover that it is a part of whom they are, do not let their actions impact you, your actions or your emotions. Even if what they are doing is un-godly, your response and reaction should always be godly. A godly response is one that promotes righteousness and peace. Be willing to love your partner enough to adjust to them. When both parties are making adjustments, you are bound to get the perfect fit.
As it says in 1 Corinthians 13:7, "Love endures ALL things." In order to reflect the...
