THe Manipulative Child : How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful,and Independent Kids

Manipulative behavior: It is the most frustrating and perhaps the most prevalent problem parents must deal with in raising their kids, and it is a problem of epidemic proportions in this country. Why, Drs. Swihart and Cotter ask, do so many of our kids - raised in the most affluent nation of earth - fail to thrive and strive and enter adulthood lacking appropriate and effective coping skills? Combining their expertise as a child psychologist and a pediatrician, the authors have come up with a revolutionary theory on why our kids are having such a tough time of it today: It is because we allow our children to manipulate us, and the world around them, rather than teaching them how to respond to life and life's tough situations. The result, Cotter and Swihart have found, is that manipulative behavior is directly tied to low self-esteem, which only heightens its negative impact on kids, families, and the larger communities they live in.
The good news is that Drs. Swihart and Cotter have created a radical and clinically proven program for breaking manipulative behavior and getting our kids back on track. At its core is the concept of value-guided parenting, wherein parents do the difficult work of establishing a set of values - a family identity - and then demanding that they and their children behave based on these values. The program teaches parents to say no without feeling guilt; to resist the urge to feel responsible for their child's happiness (which negates the child's chance to struggle with and learn from life's vicissitudes); to view their children as emotionally competent and resilient; and most importantly, to realize that effective parenting means allowing your child to make mistakes and develop a sense of competence, which leads to enhanced self-esteem and an ability to live independently and successfully in the real world.