Jack Ralph has enjoyed observing, studying, and socializing with and taking a real interest in "average and otherwise normal" persons of all ages, married and single, exchanging with them their experiences, interests, backgrounds, cultures, languages, occ

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LOVE is

358 Ways to Learn to Live a Life of LoveBy J. B. Ralph

AuthorHouse

Copyright � 2012 J. B. Ralph
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-6939-8

Chapter One

PART ONE

1. When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So, my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Age 8

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth. Age 4

3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. Age 5

4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. Age 6

5. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Age 4

6. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is O.K. Age 7

7. Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss but it is O.K. for them. Age 8

8. Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. Age 7

9. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Age 6

10. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it every day. Age 7

11. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other for so long. Age 6

12. During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. Age 8.

13. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. Age 6

14. Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken. Age 5

15. Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. Age 7

16. Love is when your puppy licks your face, even after you left him alone at home all day. Age 4

17. I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones. Age 4

18. When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you. Age 7

19. Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross. Age 6

20. You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. Age 8

And the final one from the children,

21. A four year old child lived next door to an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When the boy's mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "I didn't say anything. I just helped him cry."

Those 21 answers and definitions were the messages of Love from children.

* * *

But, before we list the 337 "adult" definitions of Love in Part Two, it is interesting and relevant to take a quick look into understanding any possible "nuts and bolts" and the "machinery" of Love in our own lives. How does it work?

Think about it a minute. There is really no beginning or end to time. We put numbers on seconds, minutes, hours, and days and years because we want to measure each one to fit our needs and plans. But we cannot fill a bucket with time. Time is just a flow of events. It is continuous, no start and no end. But we try to make it DIScontinuous. We want to measure it. Time, wind, thoughts, hope, depression, faith, notes on a scale of music, and activities of all kinds in the future are continuous but we try to measure them and give them names.

As in the doctor's office, we are asked to measure our pain on a scale of one to five. How much is much?

* * *

There are no real colors! The light breaks up into different various wave lengths and we see them as different colors to which we give names. It is a measured wave length on a color "chart" that we name to fit our situation, desires and aesthetic appreciation. It makes it easier to sell paint when we have names for the colors. There is no need to say that you want something that looks like grass, the sky or someone's liver spots.

Apples, oranges, TV sets and dollar bills are DIScontinuous things because we can see them and then count them. We can buy a bucket of apples. There is a real beginning and end to the number in the supply. We do not have to make believe that we are counting something that exists but we cannot see it. We can see the apples, oranges and dollar bills.

But how do you measure love? How much do you love me? Do you love me a lot? Maybe, just a little. Maybe I love you some today but it was a lot more last week. I remember when I really loved you. I CAN TELL WHEN YOU LOVE ME. I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.

Well, maybe "yes" and maybe "no."

Love flows but we cannot measure it or evaluate it as we can count apples and oranges. But we can ask. Show me? Don't even try to measure Love!

There is one exception in my life which seems to grade or measure one aspect of Love. Jewish tradition suggests the performance of "mitzvahs" good deeds. But there is an attempt to measure good deeds. Mitzvahs can be described using certain criteria. If the good deed is done with only the recipient knowing about the doer of the deed, it fits into one category. If the good deed is made with third parties or the community knowing the identity of the donor and the recipient, that is another category. If the mitzvah is done and neither the donor nor recipient is known and recognized, it is considered to be the highest measure or category. There are three degrees of love but it is all Love.

"Ya know what I mean?"

Well, here goes with 337 more examples of love ...

Chapter Two

PART TWO

Part Two consists of 337 "adult" definitions and examples which are added to those of the children. The definitions include some that were received from a few of my friends. I will take credit and responsibility for the balance of them.

22. Love is when mommy and daddy are in bed, sleeping, and mommy takes her hand and puts it in daddy's, squeezing it a little.

23. Love is when mommy and daddy watch basketball and football on television together and mommy yells at the TV to make the teams play better.

24. Love is whenever you see this other person who is your life, who makes you smile. Happy smiles. Grateful you both belong to the other. (Norri)

25. Love is when your seven year old grandson tells you that he loves you more than all the jelly beans in the world (Norri)

26. Love is when daddy dries mommy's legs with a towel after her shower.

27. Love is when mommy and daddy play gin rummy even when mommy usually wins.

28. Love is when mommy and daddy watch "Jeopardy" on TV and try to guess the Final Jeopardy.

29. Love is when Mommy says, "You mow the front yard, and I'll do the back." (Arley)

30. Love is when you're lying in bed, waiting for sleep to come, and you're spouse asks, "Would you say the Lord's prayer with me?" (Arley)

31. Love is when you never have to say you are sorry. At least, most of the time. But don't press your luck. (Eleanor)

32. Love is when Daddy takes out the trash and mows the lawn. (Eleanor)

33. Love is when your Great Grandson smiles at you! (Eleanor)

34. Love is when mommy...

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