LOOK OUT, I'M PARENTING HERE

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Contents

INTRODUCTION..................................................................xiiiTHE EVOLUTION OF TED'S FAMILY.................................................xviPART 1 TEDDY'S TIPSTip 1 Let Love Be Your Guide..................................................3Tip 2 Create Structure........................................................5Tip 3 Be Consistent...........................................................10Tip 4 Establish Control.......................................................15Tip 5 Tolerate Anger..........................................................21Tip 6 Raise Their Spirit......................................................25Tip 7 Be A Parent.............................................................28Tip 8 Enjoy Each Other........................................................30Tip 9 Be In The Moment........................................................32Tip 10 Listen Carefully.......................................................35Tip 11 Value Your Relationship................................................37Tip 12 Set a Good Example.....................................................39Tip 13 Foster Respect.........................................................41Tip 14 Be A Teacher...........................................................44Tip 15 Prepare For Release....................................................47PART 2 GETTING THROUGH THE DAYChapter 1 Rise and Shine......................................................53Chapter 2 Soup's On...........................................................63Chapter 3 Out The Door........................................................73Chapter 4 See You Later Alligator.............................................81Chapter 5 The Pick-Up.........................................................90Chapter 6 Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig.................................101Chapter 7 Ring Your Dinner Bell...............................................110Chapter 8 Perfecting The Magic Act Of Dinner..................................120Chapter 9 Bed Time For Bonzo..................................................128PART 3 LIFE LESSONS Things you're going to want to knowLesson 1 Why Is Your Toddler Crying?..........................................143Lesson 2 Teaching Your Toddler To Share.......................................147Lesson 3 Babysitters..........................................................151Lesson 4 Sleeping Through The Night...........................................154Lesson 5 Shyness..............................................................160Lesson 6 Brothers And Sisters.................................................164Lesson 7 Misbehaving In Public................................................168Lesson 8 Potty Training.......................................................174Lesson 9 Off To School........................................................177Lesson 10 Being Away From Your Toddler........................................181Lesson 11 Your Toddler Is Not Responsible For Your Ego........................184Lesson 12 Crime And Punishment................................................189CONCLUSION THE HARDEST THING OF ALLSaying Good Bye...............................................................195

Chapter One

How to get your kids up and ready
for the day, without going nuts

a.) KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER

b.) HAVE A PLAN

c.) OPERATE ON "KID TIME"

d.) ACCEPT THE UNEXPECTED

KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER

The first key to successfully persuading anyone into doinganything is to gain a good understanding of that person. Youneed to know who you're dealing with to understand how towork with them. When you think about it, you will realizethat this rule applies to kids too.

As hard as we try to get our kids to respond in a certainway, the truth is, we have little control over how they feel.Many physical and emotional characteristics just seem tobe with us from birth. Regardless of how we have learnedover time to deal with things, such as the morning alarmclock or other things that could be annoying, many of ourcore emotional and physical responses remain unchangedthroughout our lives. These feelings may vary widely fromperson to person, and even between siblings.

For instance, I really struggle waking up in the morningand have since I was an infant. My mother always saidthat even as a baby I always wanted to be held for quitea while when I woke up. Still today it takes me about 45minutes to be awake and alert in the morning. Much of thattime I spend just lying in bed, looking at the ceiling untilI get my wits about me. Conversely, my wife Teresa hasno problem popping right out of bed as soon as the alarmclock sounds. She immediately is on the run, while I staggeraround aimlessly, until a higher level of awareness eventuallyovertakes me.

So when it came time to decide how we were going tomanage getting our kids up in the morning, Teresa took our2 &fra12; year old daughter, Brooklynn and assigned Sammie,our 3 month old daughter to me. I believe Teresa made thisdecision based on the thought that the older child would bemore cooperative and that she would be more self-sufficientand able to get herself washed-up, fed, and dressed. My taskwould be to transition the baby from the state of being soundasleep to out the door in a timely fashion. This would be adaunting task, given my state of mind in the morning, but Iput myself into "parent mode" and was up for the job.

There was only one problem. We did not take intoconsideration the personalities of our kids. Sammie our babypopped up as soon as you woke her, ready for action. Whilein the next room, Brooklynn our toddler would just lay therelooking at the ceiling. I was fine with the assignments andSammie was very cooperative with anything I wanted to do.However, Teresa was struggling. She would get Brooklynnto sit up in bed, but if she left her alone, she would return tofind her back under her blankets.

Eventually we traded assignments, swapping who wasworking with which kid. This was my wife's decision,of course. Teresa was thrilled to be able to pull Sammieimmediately out of the crib, change her diaper, stick abottle in her mouth, and move on to getting herself ready.Meanwhile, I got to lie in Brooklynn's bed, rub her back andarms, and stare at the ceiling with her, until we were bothready to move about.

You may not be able to match up personalities with yourkids, but the key to success is to understand that they are alldifferent. The better you understand them, the easier this isgoing to be on your kids and you.

In the morning, you are asking them to leave a nice, warmand comfortable condition and state of mind, for somethingelse. Their first response to waking up will be based on theunique and inborn characteristics of their personality. And,as hard as it is sometimes to deal with, doesn't this ultimatelyreflect who they truly are and what makes them unique andspecial to us as their parents?

HAVE A PLAN

As much as I like to be spontaneous, mornings withsmall kids is no time to be making it up as you go along. Thethought that you will just figure it out in the morning willcertainly leave you feeling as helpless as a sailor at sea on aship with no sails. Any experienced parent will tell you, withtoddlers every morning there is a...