Success in the twenty-first century requires leaders who know themselves and are capable of being their best in every facet of their lives. More than ever before, we need leaders throughout society who are able to face the challenges and changes in our homes, communities, businesses, and government-they are not "other" people with special skills. They are people just like you who have made a commitment to living the leadership choice. During her twenty-year career, leadership expert Kathleen Schafer has continually broken new ground in how we understand leadership and apply it in our lives. From students to elected officials, her work has benefited a wide range of people seeking fulfillment in their lives along with a broad impact on the world. This book encapsulates her innovative approach to leadership development in twenty-eight daily lessons. Within a month, you'll identify your greatest assets, potential, and purpose and understand how to put them to work, so you can create the career and life you desire, becoming the change you wish to see in the world.

Living the Leadership Choice

A Guide to Changing Your Life and the WorldBy Kathleen Schafer

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Kathleen Schafer
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4620-3449-9

Contents

Preface.........................................................................................ixIntroduction....................................................................................xvPart I What We Have and What We Want...........................................................1Chapter 1 A New Definition of Effective Leadership..............................................3Chapter 2 A Leader's Road Map...................................................................12Part II The Twenty-Eight-Day Course............................................................15Day 1 Living the Leadership Choice..............................................................19Day 2 Cultivating Self-Awareness and the Journey of Self-Discovery..............................23Day 3 Who Am I?.................................................................................27Day 4 What Are My Talents, Strengths, and Abilities?............................................31Day 5 What Am I Truly Passionate About?.........................................................35Day 6 What Makes Me Unique?.....................................................................39Day 7 What Do I Really Want?....................................................................43Day 8 Understanding the Contribution I Want to Make.............................................47Day 9 Giving My Best to Family and Friends......................................................51Day 10 What Can I Bring to the Organizations in Which I Volunteer and Work?.....................55Day 11 What Change Do I Wish to See in My Community?............................................59Day 12 What Can I Do to Improve the World?......................................................63Day 13 Developing All Areas of My Life to Support My Leadership.................................67Day 14 Establishing a Strong Physical Self......................................................71Day 15 Developing Effective Mental Habits.......................................................75Day 16 Cultivating a Healthy Emotional Core.....................................................79Day 17 Integrating Spiritual Practices..........................................................83Day 18 Effective Communication and Others' Needs................................................87Day 19 Being Self-Aware in Every Moment.........................................................91Day 20 Creating Balanced and Productive Teams...................................................95Day 21 Create Connections.......................................................................99Day 22 Managing the Pace of Change..............................................................103Day 23 Creating Buy-in..........................................................................107Day 24 Engaging Everyone's Talents and Skills...................................................111Day 25 Using Conflict as a Tool for Growth......................................................117Day 26 Allowing Individuals and the Team to Grow................................................121Day 27 Knowing When I Am Done and It Is Time to Move On.........................................125Day 28 Creating Real World Results..............................................................129Part III The Journey Continues.................................................................133Chapter 3 The Real-World Results You Can Expect to Achieve......................................135Chapter 4 Reflect and Refocus...................................................................139Acknowledgments.................................................................................143References......................................................................................145

Chapter One

A New Definition of Effective Leadership

The textbook definition of leadership is "the action of leading a group or organization," and inherent in this description is the idea of one person standing above others, telling them what to do. This book is based on a wholly different concept of what leadership is about. My definition of leadership is "love in action." First love for self, then love for others, and finally acting each day in a way that honors the love you have for all. This is not a kumbaya experience where we forget the reality of what it is to live in the world; quite the opposite, it is about having the courage to live an open, honest life of connection to self and others that enhances our world rather than destroys it. If anyone doubts the courage needed to live love through action, try doing it for just one day. I promise you will never think it wimpy again.

Each one of us possesses talents, skills, and abilities that, combined with our passion for change, make us unique. The thrill of discovering what you uniquely have to offer the world allows you to open up greater happiness and make a meaningful contribution to your community. As you gain clarity about your talents and skills and articulate them to others, you attract support from people because they can see your vision and choose to be a part of it. This in turn gives them the opportunity to contribute their talents and skills, as change becomes a reality when complimentary skills sets come together to achieve a goal.

You begin this process by opening your eyes to the leader you already are—he or she is in there, perhaps more obscure than you would like, but there nonetheless. This book asks you to answer questions that will reveal the power you already have instead of looking for an external solution to change your life or the world around you.

I strongly recommend that you keep a written record of the exercises you do throughout the book; you may want to keep a journal or you may prefer Post-it notes—whatever feels best to you is fine. There are no right answers to these questions; in fact, your answers may change over time. What you should notice are the trends and threads that you will weave on your journey to becoming the leader you have always been.

Leadership: Where It All Begins

Where does leadership come from and how do we use it in our everyday lives? Everyone has ideas about who and what leaders are and whether they're born or they're made. Henry Kissinger said, "The mark of a great leader is to take his society from where it is to where it has never been.... Leaders must invoke an alchemy of great vision. Those leaders who do not are ultimately judged failures, even though they may be popular at the moment." Ultimately that's what leadership is about—first owning and understanding your inner energy and then putting your leadership skills into the world. It's about change. It's about working with people to create the changes that we want to see in our communities, in our organizations, in our governments, and in the world. Just importantly, as Kissinger alludes to, leadership is not about popularity in the moment; rather, it is about sustained contribution to real change that makes a positive difference in people's lives.

Leaders articulate a vision. They see where the possibility and promise exist, and they know how to effectively get people to move there. This requires a variety of skill sets in working with people—and it is not...