Why This Handbook Can Help?

We live busy lives. Such is the case in a modern world. As for myself, I find myself busy with my career; my wife busy with her career; my daughters are busy with both school and extracurricular activities. The day is done in the blink of an eye. We sleep. Then, we get to do it all over again. This is the treadmill of life. Millions, perhaps billions of people live this life.

For the so-called "successful," which I will discuss, the small amounts of open time in their calendar are filled with "things." These things may be the next event, the next party, the next trip, the next school event, the next social dinner, and on and on. Largely, we pretend to have fun in these brief moments, and this is not to say that we do not derive joy from these moments. However, it is quite evident that those who live busy lifestyles are often unable to live in the present and enjoy those items we place on the open slots in the calendar of our life.

We come back from a week of vacation with photos shared on Facebook, and yet for the vast majority of people, this leaves them feeling empty: as empty as the day we planned the trip, took the trip, experienced the trip, and traveled home. This is truth and is the kind of tragedy associated with the modern human experience. Perhaps you stood on the beach to pose for an Instagram photo, yet very little of the experience on the beach "sticks" with you. You stood in front of the Eiffel Tower and captured the moment, but then it was on to the next thing to see, the next place to eat, the next hotel in which to sleep, the airport, and home. Blink. The trip is done. Are you happier? My guess is no. Yes, you added to your life experiences, but largely, while these moments do become memories, we all get right back on the treadmill of life. Sleep, work, eat, and repeat. Repeat and repeat.

If you are fortunate and live into your eighties, you get roughly 30,000 days. We are all mortal, and nothing can change that fact. So, the time you have is an absolute. Perhaps for some, this number is higher, and I hope with all of my heart that you do indeed get to enjoy more days. For some, it is less. Perhaps fewer days are just part of your fate. Perhaps something comes into your life that is unexpected like disease or an accident. Similarly, I hope with all my heart that this does not happen to you. That said, it is a fact that some who read this book will have fewer than 30,000 days, and for some, more. For some, the quality of your life over that 30,000 day period will be better than for others.

This is the reason I w rote this book. Why? It is my simple and very genuine hope that it w ill serve as a guide to help your life be a far fuller and joyful one, whatever be the quantity of days. That your days, whatever the number may be, w ill be infinitely better than the step-and-repeat days you are experiencing today.

No one gives you a handbook to life. Your parents, should you be fortunate, did their very best to provide a compass for you. Some will provide a moral compass. Others may provide a direction for your life, based upon their experience and seek to very genuinely help set you on a course that they believe will make you most happy. There is sincerity in most parenting, yet the subject of life for the majority of parents will not be well understood. You see, they in fact are on the treadmill of life trying to raise you and do the very best they can to set you on their personal belief of the "right path." This is the process that happens for the most fortunate of children. Less fortunate children might not be blessed to have loving guidance.

I am not a god nor am I a trained psychologist. I have not run experiments with empirical data that I can show you. I am simply a person. I am, more precisely, a pentagenerian with an accumulation of experiences gained over some roughly two-thirds of those 30,000 days. My wish for you is to absorb the simple advice provided in this handbook so you can avoid my mistakes, put your life on a better and more fulfilling path, and find joy in your days ahead. That's it.

And so, I give you the gift of life. This is perhaps the greatest gift one human being can give to another. I would like you to envision that through my simple wisdom and truth that I am actually extending your allotted 30,000 days by making them not greater in quantity, but greater in quality. I hope to convey advice that will make your days more meaningful and full. My prayer is that I enriched each and every one of those days in a way that w ill extend your experience of this life. Read. Understand. Then, go forth and make your life wonderful.

Ego: The Cinder Bloch Wall

Most parties begin with harmless icebreaker conversation. Nine out of ten times, a person w ill approach you and say in a benign way, "What do you do?" Most of us have our canned responses ready to go at a moment's notice. "I own a successful landscaping business." "I am a nurse at the prestigious hospital in Boston" (or Dallas or San Francisco or Phoenix, or any one of a thousand other places). "I am a lawyer for Jefferson and Associates." "I am a bank executive." "I am a business consultant with Deloitte running major accounts. "I am a surgeon." "I am a high school mathematics teacher." "I am a senior pilot with United Airlines." "I am a professor at the University of Chicago teaching graduate physics." "I am a director for a prestigious high-tech firm." "I am a hotel manager for Hilton." You get the picture.

From the earliest age, we identify ourselves by what we do and what we own. This is not your fault in the least. Our society places extraordinary value on these things. What mother would not want to say her son or daughter will become president of the United States? What father would not want to say his son or daughter will become the CEO of a multinational corporation? What parents would not want to proclaim from the rooftops that their child is performing research that could bring an end to cancer? It is all very natural and fully aligned with our society's values. And so, we begin to identify with the short elevator pitch of what we are. "I am X, and I do Y, and I own A, B, C, and D — and oh, by the way, I also own two Zs."

What you do translates into what you own and, therefore, becomes the foundation upon which your life is built. Your personal narrative is entirely based upon you being an individual, performing something of value, and translating that into material wealth.

Let's begin the party again. "Hi, I'm Shaun! What do you...