LIFTING UP THE SENIOR SPIRIT

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Contents

Lifting Up the Senior Spirit.......................viiDedications........................................ixAcknowledgments & Appreciation.....................xiPrologue...........................................xiiiChapter One........................................1Chapter Two........................................9Chapter Three:.....................................19Chapter Four.......................................29Chapter Five.......................................41Chapter Six........................................49Chapter Seven......................................63Chapter Eight......................................81Chapter Nine.......................................89Epilogue...........................................99Notes..............................................109Bibliography.......................................113Appendices.........................................115

Chapter One

—Psalm 90:1, 10, 12 NLT

Churches have always had a ministry to children of various ages and stages. The children or young people are always looked upon as the future of the church. The focus is placed on younger members of the congregation in order to perpetuate the life of the church body. Older Adults are not looked upon in the same way. Older Adults are looked upon unfavorably and treated at times like relics of the past—without voice or power.

"Society for a long time has held up the image that youthfulness, strength, and beauty are good qualities and that people who are older, weak, and more wrinkled are less desirable. However in an increasingly "graying" society ... aging will become valued and respected." Television commercials always show young, thin models to give the impression to the public that this is the norm or the most desirable in our society. Only recently, in the last few years have I seen mature adults advertising various products and retirement centers for the aging in a positive image.

If we reflect upon the 2008 presidential election, we had a 71-year-old male Republican candidate, what does this say about age to us? Age sixty-five does not actually mean retirement anymore. An active life does not end at 65 anymore. Since people are living longer and their health is better, people are working longer to improve their quality of life. Our present economy almost determines whether a person should work longer or not in order to maintain their present lifestyle. With the present cost of living, it seems close to impossible to live on social security benefits and a pension income, so one might have to continue to work regardless of age. After all social security benefits were originally designed to be a supplement, not full retirement income.

Now back to the church. When I accepted the call to pastor my first church, the percentage of older adults was higher than any other age group. There was more people over 65 than not. There were only seven children that we could depend on coming to church on a relatively regular basis. Moreover, in the last two years, we had one child each year to be confirmed and I insisted on holding confirmation classes in our church, rather than possibly losing them to another congregation by participating in their confirmation classes.

To think of describing a member as having gray hair and wearing glasses was more than half of the church. You had to know their names to identify the person you were referencing. Churches are graying or aging, whichever way you want to look at it, let us face it.

Our sick and shut-in list is continually growing and there is a need for help with home visitations. During the announcement time in our worship service as we are a small congregation, we usually recognized and demonstrated appreciation for birthdays and anniversaries. Presently we have at least five couples who are over 70 years of age and have been married 40,50 and 60 years who have celebrated their anniversary this year. This is remarkable; however, it defines the aging status in our church, not to mention the widows.

In today's society, we know that more people are living longer with better health, as they grow older due to modern technology in health care as well as better nutrition. For the first time in the life of the church, have the church had to look at what the needs are for older adults. "In the past, the church had two options for ministry: (1) ignore older adults while engaging in "real" ministry with other age groups; (2) provide only a ministry to and for older adults"

The challenges that I have encountered in establishing senior ministries is that most of the seniors are relatively healthy, active, energetic and do not want to readily participate in a "senior or older adult ministry". They do not want to be singled out nor do they want to bring attention to their aging. They have adopted the idea that senior ministry has a negative connotation for them. However, if you mention benefits of AARP and other organizations of its kind, they are ready to listen and make sure they are eligible to receive the benefits.

As older adults retire, they are required to adjust to financial changes, mainly reduced income and increasing cost of health care. Often this affects issues of housing; will they be able to stay in their large homes with expensive utility bills and repairs? Do they need or can they afford the ongoing repairs and basic upkeep that comes with homeownership? This brings or forces them to look at alternative housing or a new sense of being as they face obvious losses.

"While losses are very much a part of their life, many older adults desire to come to terms with their losses. They want to make sense out of their life and find purpose in living." Psychologist Erik Erikson, who identified the eight stage theory of personality development; "stated that the eighth stage of development is a normal and healthy stage of life that he described as Ego Integrity versus Despair." At this stage, "older adults invest time in life review and reminiscence to integrate the past experience with present situation." They look at "the good, the bad, and the ugly" in their life and conclude, "This has been my life; this is who I am. In addition, older adults desire to share not only their memories but also their wisdom and experience with others." Erikson described the seventh stage as Generativity versus Stagnation. At this stage, "older adults want to give back to society and give some of themselves to others, often beyond their family. Older adults want to be appreciated for their uniqueness and accepted in spite of their physical limitation(s). Like most everyone else, they want to be needed and loved and often seek out opportunities to be in service to others."

Even though many older adults are in relatively good health and have a good quality of life. There are others who become frail and need assistance with things basic to life such as finances, medical, housing as well as the lack of people in their lives to support them in all the above as well as emotionally and spiritually. But they are survivors! They have persevered and weathered the storms of life.

This is where I believe the church should come in. The church needs to take responsibility for providing the resources for this group of older adults especially if they have been long time members and good stewards of their time and talents to the church. "The church is the one institution in our society that can and should take the lead in dispelling the false notions and paralyzing myths about aging. The church has a responsibility to say to society and individuals that all people are valued and have worth in the eyes of the church." And I must add "in the eyes of God".

It is the Bible, the foundation of the church that teaches about aging from Genesis to Revelation. The stories of Moses, Abraham, Aaron, Noah, Sarah, and Isaiah, Job, etc in Hebrew scripture affirm their humanness and likeness to God. The Old Testament's lessons about human nature begin in the creation stories of Genesis where God's plan is revealed for human beings to be created in community recognizing that growing older as inevitable and part of His plan for human life. The Hebrew Bible contains around 250 references to old age. "In fact, the scriptures are quite clear in stating that God uses older adults for His purpose and mission to the world."

I hope that the question why there is a need for senior ministry in the church has been answered and the case has presented well enough to create some enthusiasm for others hopefully 'to step up to the plate'. I will share a spiritual reflection from a collegial program that was recommended to us for ideas, and that was presented to the Congregational Church of the United Church of Christ in Lincoln City, Oregon, on February 28, 1999.

"Then God said: 'Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness,' Genesis 1:26a. In a culture where ageism is thoroughly ingrained, we can begin to see ourselves afresh by looking closely at the image in which we are made: God's image. It is coming to know God that we come to know ourselves, our inherent nobility, goodness, compassion and complexity." 'To teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.' Ps. 90:12."It is by focusing on the inevitability of our own death that we begin to appreciate just how precious each moment of life is. From our own perspective of mortality, it is easier to discern what is trivial and mundane and that which is "the great work."

Chapter Two

MINISTRY TO THE HOMEBOUND

"So we do not lose heart. "Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

Most church bulletins have a list of members who can no longer attend Sunday worship and/or other activities of the church for many reasons with loss of health or compromised health being the major reason. The title that is usually given to this list is "sick and shut-in" indicating that these members are limited to their home. But in reality, the title of this list should be "sick and shut-out". For all intentional purposes, most of these members are "shut-out" of the mainstream of the church. If the pastor does not visit often, and the members do not take the time to visit or feel that it is the pastor's job, because that is what the church is paying the pastor to do, so then, for these and many other reasons visitation from the church is limited or doesn't exist.

However, on the flip side of this coin, if you will, in my past five years as a church pastor, I have learned that the church is the only place they can't go. They can go to the doctor, to visit family members or with family members to other places even out of town. Some of the "sick and shut-in" can go shopping preferably with friends in case they need help. But when you mention coming to church, you hear all types of excuses such as "I can't climb the steps, I can't sit that long or I don't have anyone to bring me". Therefore, from this perspective, I wonder who shut out whom. Did the church shut the member out or did the member shut the church out?

What has happened to their "spirit"? Why have they lost the desire to come to church? How their spiritual needs are being met now and worst than that, were they ever met in the church when they were able to attend? If their spiritual needs weren't met, then this could be a good escape, and it becomes easy to use their illness as a reason for not attending.

It is true that many traditional older churches have too many steps outside and/or stairs inside that makes it hard or near impossible for seniors with bad knees or hips to climb. Many churches are neither wheelchair accessible nor meet ADA standards nor does it provide accommodations for frail elderly or the physically challenged. I have personally experienced this in my church, where we had an 80 plus year old woman to almost literally crawl up the outside steps to come to church on Sunday before we were awarded a grant to purchase a platform lift that was installed on the side of the porch to the church for accessibility for everyone who needs it. This was used each week and was a blessing to our congregation!

Some seniors have shared with me other reasons for not attending the church such as often the pastor that was there when they were active in church is no longer there. The choir sings too loud as well as songs they do not know. The church reminds them that many of their friends have died and they feel lonely or sad when they come. Listening to these reasons, which may sound like excuses, says to me that they don't feel like they "belong" anymore.

So how can the church provide spiritual care to the members who are considered homebound? How can the church revive their spirits and possibly motivate them to return for the full church worship experience? How can the church make them feel wanted and that they belong? How can the church live out its mission to "reach out to its community"?

In addition to sending out the bulletin each week and occasional greeting cards, I believe the church can train members to become caregivers—to commit themselves to a care-giving ministry. It is essential to provide adequate training in order to perform this valuable task. So many people don't know what to say and usually say the wrong thing. I have modified the curriculum of the United Church of Christ comprehensive training program for lay members entitled "Called to Care" and recommend it highly. This training is written from a Christian perspective and can be used as an ecumenical resource to equip lay people from any denomination to answer their individual call as caregivers as they seek to live out Jesus' command to love one another. The training program is designed to take less than sixteen-hour. It can be split up into days or weeks; whichever is convenient for each church setting. When the program is completed, participants are awarded a certificate and lapel pin that reads "caregiver" to validate their training along with a pocket handbook that includes scripture and prayers for easy access to use while adding a feeling of confidence to the caregiver. In my setting, I am planning to hold on-going training so that caregivers who have received the initial training can learn more about various diagnoses and specific illness and their needs, so that they can feel knowledgeable and more comfortable in their new ministry.

"In 1935 when Social Security was enacted in the United States, life expectancy was around sixty-two. Congress set the age of sixty-five as the time older workers could begin receiving Social Security. Perhaps Congress believed that few people would live long enough to collect it. Today, people can still receive full Social Security benefits when they reach sixty-five, yet life expectancy is no longer sixty-two but rather seventy six!" Retiring at 65 used to mean that it was the end of life. Getting old is not what it used to be. Science and medical technology have helped us all to live healthier lives much longer. As the millions of baby boomers approach retirement years, the definition of age will continue to change or evolve. When we look at these facts from a spiritual perspective, where does this leave the church?

The church is believed to represent the presence of God in the world, so how is the church facilitating God's presence and promise to older adults? "The percentage of church members over age sixty is at least twice as high as the general population." What many pastors have learned through experience and seminarians are learning is that the seminary has not prepared them for ministry to older adults. Most churches put emphasis on youth programming, because this is considered the future of the church. But what about the members who have built and sustained the churches over the years and continue to be faithful and loyal? Too often "older" members are seen as the problem group that needs so many special services that the church is not prepared to provide. In my experience of working with older adults from a corporate and church ministry perspective, in addition to the fact that I am now 65,I am much more aware of what is needed, what is not available and what is absent from the church setting.

When one becomes 65, you are not only aware but brutally in touch to what you need and expect. I have always said that when I turn 65, I thought I would retire. Now I question what that means.

As a former pastor of a small church with more members over 65 than under, I am faced with their needs and as well as my own. Spiritual growth will always be a need, no matter how old you are. You will never graduate from Bible Study classes or Vacation Bible School. Every person needs an ongoing devotional life, including opportunities for regular worship, prayer, Bible study, discipleship and a mission (purpose). I remember hearing one of my pastors tell the congregation that "Sunday School is one school you never graduate from" and now I can strongly affirm that statement.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from LIFTING UP THE SENIOR SPIRITby JANET MITCHELL HISBON Copyright © 2012 by Rev. Janet Mitchell Hisbon. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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