Th is book will force you to take a long hard look at the problems you have always had, and are currently experiencing and offer you simple difficult solutions to the common complex problems of life.

"Your Life"

By Scot D. Spooner

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Scot D. Spooner
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-3651-5

Contents

Chapter 1: Terminal Uniqueness................................................1Chapter 2: A Degree from Barnes and Noble.....................................5Chapter 3: Unlearning Years of False Truths...................................9Chapter 4: Thinking for Yourself..............................................11Chapter 5: Standing Tall All Alone............................................15Chapter 6: Law of Attraction..................................................17Chapter 7: Figuring Out the Source............................................19Chapter 8: There Is Enough for Everyone.......................................23Chapter 9: The True Meaning of Courage........................................25Chapter 10: Take Care of You First 10:........................................29Chapter 11: Expectations......................................................33Chapter 12: The Surrender 12:.................................................35Chapter 13: Healthy Walls and Boundaries 13:..................................41Chapter 14: The Power of Your Environment 14:.................................47Chapter 15: You Need Other People 15:.........................................51Chapter 16: Streamline with the 80/20 Principle 16:...........................55Chapter 17: FEAR 17:..........................................................57Chapter 18: Perspective 18:...................................................63Chapter 19: No Back-Up Plan 19:...............................................65Chapter 20: Getting Comfortable Feeling Uncomfortable.........................67Chapter 21: Growing = Outgrowing Others, Nothing Personal.....................71Chapter 22: Making the Rules Up As You Go.....................................75Chapter 23: Life Situations Are Temporary.....................................77Chapter 24: Being Comfortable All Alone, Still and Silent.....................79Chapter 25: My Journey, My God................................................83Daily Routines that Change My Life............................................91"Your Life" Parting Thoughts..................................................93About the Author..............................................................97

Chapter One

Terminal Uniqueness

An illness that I suffered with for many years is one I refer to as terminal uniqueness. Please notice that I used the word with, not from. This is because it was an illness that I chose. I use the word terminal because this illness is nothing less than the equivalent of any stage four disease that can last for decades, or a lifetime.

What does terminal uniqueness sound like? What does terminal uniqueness look like?

Here are some examples of what it may sound like:

• "You don't know what life is like for me."

• "If you had to deal with my life, you would be this way too."

• "That may work out great for you but not for me."

• I'm too <fill in the blank> to be able to do that."

• "You don't know what I have been through."

• "I had a terrible childhood."

The list could go on for pages and pages, but I am sure you get the point.

Terminal uniqueness looks like any one of us, and it looked just like me for many years.

I have used every one of those lines at some point in my life, but I no longer allow myself to do so. It doesn't mean that I don't have those thoughts run through my mind. I have bad days just the same as you. The difference is that I choose not to speak them, empower them, or act on them.

Please know that I do not make light of any of the situations that you may have gone through in your life. Horrible experiences are real, and the pain is real. What I want to point out is that working through the pain and suffering is one thing, but to be defined by it is another. It is my hope that you will never be defined by the wrongs done to you but that you will be defined by the positive way you choose to live your life—here, now, in the present moment only.

The truth that I have come to find for myself is that I am not unique. For each and every situation I have lived through, many others have too. It became a personal obsession in my life to find those who had lived through these same "not so unique" experiences and uncover the secret to coming out on the other side stronger, and doing so with dignity. I added the phrase "doing so with dignity" because there is a big difference between getting through something by kicking, screaming, blaming, and yelling versus keeping calm, taking responsibility, and having faith. Getting through hard times and not owing anyone an apology once all is said and done is what I am speaking of.

It is in the seeking that I find the answers, yet that alone has afforded me nothing in the way of change. It takes knowledge followed by action and faith to "get to" where the others are currently, which is where I said that I wanted to be. Right? Right!

The other nugget of wisdom that comes with seeking out those who have suffered as I have is that I quickly find that many people have stories that make my story look like a walk in the park. This turns my complaints into gratitude and hope, both of which are priceless.

I am not unique (even though my mom still tells me I am), and you are not unique, which is yet another reason that this is "your life" written by me.

Seek the answers, face the facts, make a plan, and execute with the faith and hope necessary to succeed. Remember, your life is a fairy tale to many of the suffering people in this world.

Chapter Two

A Degree from Barnes and Noble

Some years ago, I began to do my best to seek out and surround myself with what I believed to be successful people. Each person had his or her own story and own level of success, so I played close attention to all of the details, in search of as many similarities as I could find.

The one common thread that could not be argued was that all were avid readers. That is the first part. The second and more important finding about their reading habits is that none of them read fiction materials, or if they did, it represented 2 to 5 percent of their libraries. Another similarity is that they watched very little television and definitely no reality shows. No judgment here—I'm just saying.

I made myself a promise that I too would read the authors who were placing lifetimes of knowledge into a couple hundred pages, and I would not just read them but would look at each as if it were a textbook for life. I was told this great analogy years ago, and I want to share it with you: If you come eat apple pie at my house and find that it is the best apple pie that you have ever had, you will ask me for the recipe, and I will give it to you. You could then easily go to the store, buy the ingredients, and cook the exact same pie. But if you added anything or took anything away, you would not end up with the best pie in the world, which you have the recipe for.

I bring this up to make a point about the importance of following directions. When I pick up a book to learn how to do something or I ask someone advice on how they achieved a certain task, I always have three options of what to execute after I gain the knowledge that the person or the book has provided:

1. I can take the recipe, which was successful,...