This book is a collection of short stories written by a nine-year-old about his daily life experiences and events as he sees them. The stories narrate events to kids from a kid's point of view. Many of the stories are true. Some of the stories are true with a little embellishment, and others are complete fiction. Read along as Austin shares his experience on a roller coaster that goes so fast it breaks loose and flies into outer space, or read about a team of junior explorers in their lava-proof suits as they descend into a volcano. Obviously, those stories are fiction, but Austin also relates everyday experiences like the day he went to the grocery store with his mom and three sisters, and one sister temporarily disappeared. Austin will communicate his passion for football, computers, ice cream, and writing. These are all stories dreamed, written, and shared by a kid to kids.

The Life and Daydreams of a Nine-Year-Old

A Collection of Short Stories Some Real, Some FictionBy Austin J. Patterson

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2013 Austin J. Patterson
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-7038-0

Contents

Backyard Football..........................................4Computers are Rivers of Information........................6I'm in Some Deep Gravy.....................................8Football...................................................10Good Character Traits......................................12Kaboom!....................................................14Knock, Knock, Knock........................................16Lighter-Than-Air Laptop....................................19Magical, Magnificent Monkeys...............................21Ice Cream..................................................23Monkey in My Tree House....................................25My Journey to Busch Gardens................................28New York Is a Winter Wonderland............................31Pit Bull Trouble...........................................34Polar Express..............................................36Special Day................................................38Spring Break...............................................40The Day the Earth Split in Two.............................43The Ghost..................................................46The Missing Lunch Box......................................48Theme Park Trouble.........................................50Twin Turbo.................................................53Writing Is a Flowing River of Thoughts.....................54Grocery Store Disaster.....................................56Playing in the Neighborhood................................59The Walking Scarecrow......................................63

Chapter One

Backyard Football

The day began with me having the most fun of my life. I was playing football. The day ended with a big bad bruise. Kids are always prepared for anything, but I wasn't prepared for this.

"Down, set, hut," said the quarterback of the Tampa Bay Bucs. Well, OK, it wasn't actually the Bucs; it was my friends and I. But hey, let us get back to the story.

"Hey, pass it to me!" yelled Kyle who was on our team. He was not looking where he was going, and as we were in the middle of a play, something very unexpected happened. It was big. It was bad. It was ... it was the most amazing catch ever. Kyle caught the ball and ran hard and fast toward the goal line. He ran so hard and fast after catching the ball that he failed to notice a tree that happened to be in the middle of our field. He hit the tree with amazing force, yet he still managed to hold on to the ball.

"Oooooow," everybody said in unison, feeling his pain. "Hey, it looks like you bit the dust," said Josh, trying to joke, but we all knew it was not funny. After Kyle came to his senses, he got up slowly, and we all gathered around him. I got a close-up view of the bruise, and it grossed me out. It was a bruise the size of a big butterfly. "Mom," I yelled, "someone is injured, come quick!" My mom came running over, and after taking a long look, she said, "I think we should take him to the ER."

We got Kyle to the ER, and finally, when everything was finished, the doctor said Kyle would be fine, and Mom and I felt relief.

The day started with a great game of football and ended with a big bad bruise.

Computers Are Rivers of Information

Beep, boop, beep. That's exactly what I hear when I am quickly typing on my awesome, outrageous computer. Computers are like a bucket filled with smart brains without the slime. They are rivers of information. I use computers every day, and trust me, without computers, my life would be boring.

Computer, computer, computer. I am so in love with computers. A computer is smarter than all straight A students in school put together. They even have calculators on computers, and I'm sure that somewhere in the world, there is a kid learning something new with calculators. A computer also gives facts (something that's true) about stuff you might not even know existed. Also, a computer is very, very informative.

Computer, computer, computer. Another great feature a computer has is access to YouTube. YouTube is like the world on videos. YouTube has some very interesting stuff too, like videos on how to do things or how to draw or how to make an airplane. YouTube is hilarious. The funniest thing on YouTube is Annoying Orange. You have to check it out.

Computer, computer, computer. Computers are soooo much fun. A computer is almost the most fun thing in the world just because of all the games it has. It has puzzles and games, and in fact, some puzzles and games can help kids learn. It also has shooting games, which are really fun, and racing games. Those games are really, really fun.

Well, that is it for today. And as you know now, computers are my most favorite thing in the world. I think you should get a computer really soon. The end. And remember, a computer is a river of information.

I'm in Some Deep Gravy

It all began with a normal day at school. It all ended with a serious fifty-eight-dollar mistake. This is how my experience went.

RING! My middle school classes were dismissed, and trust me, when that bell rings, my classmates fly out the door like a group of hawks searching eagerly for food. I guess Eric, the three-foot-eleven-inch guy, must have gotten run over because on the way out, he was limping. After that, I ran home as fast as a speeding car. Finally, when I got home, I threw off my backpack and went straight to the TV. That's where the problem started.

Click! Click! Click! I was trying to turn on the TV with the remote. I clicked it one more time, and it still didn't work. I guess that set off my alarm because the next thing I knew, my whole family was staring at me like I was a maniac. "The cable box isn't working!" I screamed, making up some stupid excuse.

"That doesn't mean you have to yell at it," my mom said to me. I tried it one more time, but it didn't work. I went over to the cable box and picked it up and started shaking it. That might have been a stupid idea because the next thing I knew, BOOM! I dropped the cable box. Trust me, I will regret that later on.

"What was that?" my mom asked.

"Nothing," I replied. I tried to slide myself out of it, but unfortunately, she came in right away, and you would not believe how much trouble I got into. I knew right away I was really in some deep gravy.

That's how it all began with a normal day at school, and that's how it all ended with a serious fifty-eight-dollar mistake.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Life and Daydreams of a Nine-Year-Oldby Austin J. Patterson Copyright © 2013 by Austin J. Patterson. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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