Maintaining Our Astonishment

A Reflection on Key Teachings from Bernard J. Lee, S.M.

Terry A. Veling

Introduction

Shortly before his death, Rabbi Nahman, the great grandson of the Baal Shem Tov, spoke to his disciples. "Why come to me? I do not know anything." He repeated several times, sincerely, that he did not know anything. Then he began to speak and to teach. "It is forbidden to grow old," he said. "It is necessary to start over, each time." "One must maintain one's astonishment."

In various conversations with Bernard, I have heard him say in his inimitable style, "finitude sucks." Perhaps Rabbi Nahman would agree: "It is forbidden to grow old." Whether we are eight or eighty, it remains "necessary to start over, each time," and to "maintain one's astonishment." One of the delights of knowing Bernard and interacting with his work is that while he is always attentive to the concrete realities and givens of life, he is also mindful that "something else might be the case" (GJ, 1). Indeed, back in the seventies, Bernard was already saying, "the movement of history is a creative advance" (RE, 372). We are not merely beings-toward-death, we are beings-toward-life. It is not decay and growing old that marks our life, but the ever-present possibility of new beginnings, creative advances, and "alternative futures" (to use the title from Bernard's series on worship). It is this commitment to life, and to the God of life, that enables us, along with Bernard, to "maintain our astonishment."

This essay is structured around six key teachings I have learned from Bernard (among others), encapsulated in sayings such as, "it matters" or "presence is what takes hold of me" or "the person of size." Along with excerpts from Bernard's own writings, I have interwoven some of the authors who are significant to Bernard and, through him, also significant to me. Many of Bernard's teachings have stayed with me for a long time. I often find myself passing them on to my own students, such that "generations" are now involved in Bernard's life. As the great Talmudic sage Rashi comments: "When one teaches the Torah to the sons and daughters of our fellow human beings, it is as if one had engendered them oneself. The true descendants are students, those whom one has taught." Bernard's generative influence is indeed "generational."

1. It matters

"It matters. It has consequences."

Bernard has sometimes wished he could take credit for these words, but they come from Alfred North Whitehead, though I suspect they would be lost to history if it were not for Bernard's constant retelling. The story, as Bernard relays it, goes like this. One of Whitehead's students came up to him after class and asked, "Professor Whitehead, how would you characterize reality?" Whitehead put down his books, remaining silent for a few minutes, then replied, "It matters. It has consequences."

This saying appears very early in Bernard's work. In a chapter titled, "The Appetite for God," he writes: "We matter deeply to and in the actuality of God. There is no way not to have a hankering ... for that which matters deeply" (RE, 373). And then, in his dedication to The Future Church of 140 BCE, Bernard writes: "Most of the things/that today I believe/matter most/and have consequences/that are full of grace.

Reality counts. Things matter. Life requires us. And even though we are only here "once" – or maybe because we are only here once – our lives on earth are heavy with consequences that can never be cancelled. "Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be released in heaven" (Matthew 18:18 NRSV). The deeds we perform may seem slight, yet they carry consequences that affect the lives of those around us, and maybe even the lives of those distant to us. According to Rabbi Hayyim Volozhiner: "Let nobody in Israel – God forbid! – ask himself: 'What am I, and what can my humble acts achieve in the world?' Let him rather understand this, that he may know it and fix it in his thoughts: not one detail of his acts, of his words and of his thoughts, is ever lost."

Our actions and words are not performed or spoken into a vacuum or a void. They can do good or harm; they can bind or release; they bear responsibility; they carry the weight of life and death, of good and evil. Abraham Heschel perhaps captures this best when he writes: "Significant living is an attempt to adjust to what is expected and required of being human. This sense of requiredness is as essential to being human as the capacity for reasoning ... This sense of requiredness is not an afterthought; it is given with being human, not added to it but rooted in it."

According to Bernard, "the really rare question is: What kind of world do we want to make for ourselves and our children?" (FC, 116; BGW, 151). It is interesting that Bernard calls this a "rare question." Perhaps we aren't asking it often enough; perhaps we aren't addressing it often enough. Perhaps this is the question that really matters.

2. The Person of Size

On many occasions I have heard Bernard refer to "the person of size." This phrase comes from Bernard's early encounter with process philosopher, Bernard Loomer. In at least two of his texts, Bernard includes substantial excerpts from Loomer's work, having to do with "relational power" and "the person of size." In terms of the latter, Loomer writes:

By size I mean the stature of a person's soul, the range and depth of his love, his capacity for relationships. I mean the volume of life you can take into your being ... the intensity and variety of outlooks you can entertain ... I mean the strength of your spirit to encourage others to become freer in the development of their diversity and uniqueness. I mean the power to sustain more complex and enriching tensions. I mean the magnanimity of concern to provide conditions that enable others to increase in stature.

This passage evokes the very spirit of Bernard's life and work: capacity for relationships, depth of love, openness to ever-new learning, encouraging others in their own diversity and uniqueness, largeness of spirit, and enabling others to increase in dignity and stature.

Another word that Bernard evokes that also expresses this spirit. It is the French word, from Gabriel Marcel, disponibilité. It...