CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION
Through this book, I hope to help those having difficulty withtheir life.
I am a practicing psychologist that has, now for fourteen years,put on seminars with that objective. The seminars empowerparticipants to realize their dreams and potential, while betterenjoying their lives through making changes. Making changesto one's outlook on and attitudes to life, changes that affectevery dimension of one's life, is not easy. Yet, it is necessary ifone wants to discover and live the happier life they want and arebest suited for.
Before anyone can make changes in their life, they have tounderstand where they came from. Memories of past experiences,both happy and unpleasant, need to be retrieved from ourmemory banks (our brains). Once retrieved, those memories canbe assessed and reassessed, and we can decide, yes decide, totake their power away if they are interfering with our present.Memories of past events, whether conscious or absent in ourconscience, drive our reactions to present events, and eitherfacilitate or restrict our options and actions.
In this book, I begin by reviewing my own early life. I describe theconditions and events that affected my childhood, siblings andother family members. I speculate on the events that eventuallyled me to who I am, what I have done, and what I do now. Bybeing open about my own life, I hope to engender your trust, soas to better allow you to consider my specific recommendationsfor your gaining and maintaining a better, happier and morepurposeful, life.
And, after reviewing my experiences (reclaiming memories,re-wiring my brain for success, and obtaining my academicqualifications), I report on how my empowerment seminarscame about. After relating the case histories of some of thepast participants in the seminars, I then provide, through twentyone assignments, including a self-agreement, a guide for thosewilling and determined to undertake self-help `work' towardschanging their lives for the better.
Even if, through undertaking the assignments, you only come tohave a better understanding of your feelings and the obstaclesthat you either have had or are now encountering, I suspect youwill 'change', and will begin to live a happier, more fulsome andpurposeful life. And, beyond that, through the 'assignments'I provide the means to free yourself of emotional burdensthat may have been holding you back from the fulsome andenjoyable life that you should and could have—a life that willnot only enhance your own happiness and purpose in life, butalso enhance the lives of those around you, particularly thoseyou care most about.
The idea for this book arose out of my empowerment seminars.My friends and associates have helped me design and hold theseminars on a regular basis. Over the years, an innumerablenumber of people have attended and been helped.
By your reading of the obstacles that I have encountered andhow I managed to overcome them, and by your working yourway through the 'assignments', my hope for you is that you toowill rewire your brain and then enjoy your life journey since weonly do it once (as far as we can remember!). So make everyday count and when you get to the end of the journey you cansigh with relief that you did have a fulfilling life!
CHAPTER 2
HERE I AM, LESSONSLEARNED
After all the time that has come and gone in my life, and thinkingas to what I can offer others from what I have learned (fromthe experiences of my own life's journey), I have come to therealization that the simple process of living, which involvesinnumerable challenges and obstacles requiring constantchanges, serves as a common denominator for everyone.
This allows the possibility that by my recounting my experiencesand reflections, I can act as a catalyst to assist others as theycomplete their own life's journey.
I am in front of my computer, letting my fingers do the talking. Ihave had a life of learning, one full of changes and surprises. Ihave almost experienced too many `twists and turns' during mylife's journey to-date to recall. And, often at the time the "twistsand turns" occurred, I was unable to explain how or why theyhad come about. Yet, now, some of those `twists and turns' makesense, looking at the events from the vantage point of the `hereand now'.
As to some other events, I have yet to make sense of them. Forthem, I must accept that this is not the time for me to know the`why' of those `happenings'. I expect everything will be revealedto me in time, but just not now.
When I look back in my life, I realize that in every circumstanceI was never alone. Either something or someone was guidingme, even during the hardest of times. This was especially truewhen I was young, then very much feeling alone and withoutgreat support. Now, years later, with the advantage that comeswith experience and much reflection, I realize that I was neverreally, absolutely, alone.
Somehow, even in the worst of times, the person or persons Ineeded showed up, and at the right time to make a difference.Fortunately, I have always been a good listener, and I haveapplied the learning I was fortunate to receive at every step ofmy journey.
Early Years
My first memory I recall has me standing on my father's feet,dancing to loud music. Was that the day my mind...
